(no subject)
so, he really wanted us to talk about this in person, so i *after some angry hesitations* agreed to meet him last night. i told him i'd rather gauge my eyes out with forks than go to my sister's wedding, he said he'd rather gauge his eyes out with forks than walk away from me. he can't understand why i'm not being nice, he said "haven't you ever stayed friends with an ex before?" i replied "yes, but not THE DAY AFTER". idiot. idiot that i love soooo much, all i wanted to do was hug him and kiss him, he kept trying to and i had to push him off cause that's the right thing to do. but i wanted to sooooo bad. we talked about everything, if it's a relationship i want then i've got it, but things can't keep going the way they are. but i can't do the whole relationship thing right now, i don't even know where i'm gonna be. and i don't wanna drag him down with me. now today he says he never slept at all last night, got out of bed at 2 and drove around for the rest of the night cause he feels like he's living a lie. and he still really wants to see me but it's up to me. i told him i couldn't answer that just yet. what do i do????