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[dogtagcollar]

I come to you with distressing news.

[Rome tilts his chin up and looks straight into the camera, stonefaced.]

I have been informed that a man named Santa is a suspect in stalking, breaking and entering, defiling public spaces, and willful destruction of property.

[He's so serious.]Please, do not panic. I intend to detain this man by any means

Comments

[Video]

[licensedhero]

What?! No! You've got it all wrong Rome! Santa is a kind and generous man who gives all the children of the world presents once a year for being good kids! He's magical and wonderful and kind. I've met him you know and he isn't any of the things you said.

[Video]

[dogtagcollar]

[Considering carefully.]

Some of the more devious criminals may attempt to manipulate the emotions of children to defend them.

[licensedhero]

That's not it at all! You don't get it Rome! Santa is a kind and caring man who would never use his magic to hurt the people he serves! He loves Christmas! Why would he ever do anything that would make it not happy?

[dogtagcollar]

Why would he give people coal?

[licensedhero]

Because coal is what Santa gives kids when they weren't nice since last Christmas. You have to earn a pretty present.