Trivial pizza post
I really love pizza. It's my favourite food, up there with agadashi dofu and Branston beans on toast.
I have noticed though, that over the last few years more and more frozen-pizza producers are producing 'Stone-baked' pizzas.
These horrific items have precisely f***-all in common with an actual pizza from a restaurant, or their worthy, if sometimes crappy, non-stone-baked couterparts.
They look the part, with the wrinkled dough, slices of baby tomato and small blobs of mozarella. However get closer and the illusion starts to unravel.
No matter how careful you are at cooking them, and no matter what temperature or time you use, the lower millimeter of dough will turn into an unbreakable shell of matter, like a water-biscuit crossed with armour plating. The edges will burn. The mozarella will still be somewhat cold, and a clear yellowish fluid will have gathered in the centre. If you try eating it, it will attack you with razor-sharp shards of bready-stuff, and if you try cutting it your knife will skip al over the place, possibly propelling the object across the living room.
This seems to happen to *every* 'stone-baked' pizza I have ever cooked. Avoid these awful things like th f***ing culinary plague they are.
I have noticed though, that over the last few years more and more frozen-pizza producers are producing 'Stone-baked' pizzas.
These horrific items have precisely f***-all in common with an actual pizza from a restaurant, or their worthy, if sometimes crappy, non-stone-baked couterparts.
They look the part, with the wrinkled dough, slices of baby tomato and small blobs of mozarella. However get closer and the illusion starts to unravel.
No matter how careful you are at cooking them, and no matter what temperature or time you use, the lower millimeter of dough will turn into an unbreakable shell of matter, like a water-biscuit crossed with armour plating. The edges will burn. The mozarella will still be somewhat cold, and a clear yellowish fluid will have gathered in the centre. If you try eating it, it will attack you with razor-sharp shards of bready-stuff, and if you try cutting it your knife will skip al over the place, possibly propelling the object across the living room.
This seems to happen to *every* 'stone-baked' pizza I have ever cooked. Avoid these awful things like th f***ing culinary plague they are.