(no subject)
Yesterday I did not feel like going to the dojo. The feeling started in the morning and I just couldn't shake it. I went anyway because I have felt that way before and going to class is always like lifting a weight off of me. I'm glad I went, I had that feeling as soon as I walked in the door.
I got to class fairly early so I caught up with my friend Jerry a bit. At the beginning of class, Sensi Matt had the class go up into the office area to watch a video of a talk done at a TED Conference. The talk was about individual contentment and how finding your own contentment leads to a broader view. One part of the talk that I took a hold of is to have fun and find joy in everything. It's not an easy goal but one I can begin to work on one step at a time.
Once we got started with class we got into groups and shared why each of us do aikido. We then talked about unforeseen things that have happened as a result of our Aikido training. For me, I took a page from one of the people in my group, I do aikido because I CAN. After 3 knee surgeries, thinking at many points I would never walk without extreme pain. I don't know how many people know this, but I actually asked my ortho surgeon to cut my leg off above the knee to get rid of the pain I had. So, I do aikido because I can. I can also say that I do aikido because it fills a massive void inside of myself. I can remember when I went to observe a class to check the dojo out back in November/December of 2010. The simple act of taking my shoes and socks off and bowing onto the mat began to fill the massive void within me. A void that had been a large source of my misery over the prior 5-6 years. Watching that class then starting my training with 10 straight days of training and misogi in the river, I think I can relate to how people of faith describe being 'filled' with the presence of God. Only my religion isn't a religion, it is budo.
The unforeseen thing for me was that I have begun to read philosophy and allowing spiritual ideas to plant their seeds.
Over the course of the rest of the class we were working with 'listening' to the energy of our partners. We didn't resist or give harder or softer than normal, we just tried to feel (when the uke) what our nage was giving us and the goal was to blend with it. I noticed that moving at half speed or faster was pivotal in this exercise. When we my partner and I slowed things down to focus on the technique, things fell apart and we found ourselves pushing with our arms to make it work. Once we sped it up a bit again, everything was working great.
Towards the end of class we got into large groups and worked a technique on each person in the line before joining the line, and so on. When I was applying the technique, one of the brown belts grabbed me fairly solidly so when I applied it I put a little more behind the move. I apparently sent the guy flying fairly far. I say apparently because we were not turning to see what we did, just moved onto the next person. I was told at the end of class that my "football" came out a little bit. I need to try and remember to flow and not force anything if I can avoid it. I think in that one situation I used appropriate energy but I guess I carried that through the rest of my line of uke even if they were giving me a softer attack.