For my brother.
Hmm. What to write? I feel like writing about something special and quite deep, but I don't think that's going to happen somehow. Unless I decide to start writing about Noam. It's been over 5 weeks now, since I saw him. But I'm no longer sad or upset about it, I just like keeping track. Whenever I go into states of remembering as much as I can about him and all the wonderful things that happened in my summer holidays I always smile and am so grateful for what I experienced. Thinking about Noam could never make me feel melancholy again, which is very relieving. I also no longer have this desperate feeling to see him, it felt so urgent, but now I am calm and peaceful and will wait patiently until we can see each other again. And then, I will also tell him that I have feelings for him.
I've been doing a lot of work, we have mocks in 5 weeks. And I'm going to be away in Spain before then. I am going to be unbelievably busy, not that that's a bad thing. Because all of my hard work will pay off, and the days will only get shorter until the 21st of December, and then I'll be that bit closer to the Summer again. I'd love to go on this Uganda exchange which would take place after my GCSEs, in June/July. It'd be hot, hot, hot, but that's not a problem for me. About 50 people want to go though, and there's only room for 10 or less I think, so we have interviews, I hope I get chosen. I've never had an interview but if I really want this I think I'll get it. I'll also go to Israel in my Easter holidays I think, that'd be good. Don't how how I'd revise for GCSEs, I'll work it out.
I'm auditioning for Les Miserables on Monday, this is something that I have realised that I really, really want. It's strange though, because I'm desperate to be the main part, but in a subtle way. I find it unfair, as we audition the same day we get the music so we can't practice, and it has to be in a microphone which I have no experience with. But perhaps I'm at an advantage because I can pick up music quickly and easily most of the time. I not only want this for me, because I miss being a main character so much and I feel that this is my last chance while at school, but I also want do to this for my brother. I will do it for him, because it is now 2 years today since he died in an Al Qaeda thing in Egypt. And maybe because of this, it will help me get the part subconciously or something. Well, we shall see. But I'm going to pray for this, and if anyone has advice, I'd love to hear it.
I've spent so much money this year I think. I went crazy about yellow, and have a whole outfit and now I'm suddenly mad about red. So I'm going to try my hardest not to buy anything else this year, unless it's mandatory. I did get this really fit shoes though, £20 from £50 and they're so fit! I do need them, I've been wanting shoes like these for ages, they do kind of slip out at the back though, I'm hoping that that can be fixed with an insole thing. My Mum hasn't found out about them yet though, lol. It's been strange for me, I never really spent money before, because I never found anything I particularly liked. But suddenly I found myself liking so much and just wanting it all. And if I had the money on me, I'd just buy it. So now I need to start going out with a lot less money and just being stricter with myself, if I get addicted to shopping my life will be screwed for ever. And I'll be able to get a debit card soon too, and so much money would be wasted. Maybe I won't get a card for a while. It's hard because there's all this really cheap gorgeous summer clothes, and I have to keep on reminding myself that the winter is coming, wait until next summer to buy anything else like this.
I am so excited about our end of year ball. I've never done anything like this before and I've been waiting for this for years! There's also this Year Book that's being made for everyone which is wonderful and I'm going to be on the committe with my friend. I have vague thoughts that this guy wants to ask me to the ball, but everyone hates him so it's difficult for me. Even my friends have bad opinions about him which influences me. But he probably doesn't because he keeps asking other people. I don't mind, less drama for me to go through. I'd just tell him I'd probably go with him, but to ask me again closer to the time. I wonder if anyone else will ask me... Maybe I should ask someone? Who knows.
I've been doing a lot of work, we have mocks in 5 weeks. And I'm going to be away in Spain before then. I am going to be unbelievably busy, not that that's a bad thing. Because all of my hard work will pay off, and the days will only get shorter until the 21st of December, and then I'll be that bit closer to the Summer again. I'd love to go on this Uganda exchange which would take place after my GCSEs, in June/July. It'd be hot, hot, hot, but that's not a problem for me. About 50 people want to go though, and there's only room for 10 or less I think, so we have interviews, I hope I get chosen. I've never had an interview but if I really want this I think I'll get it. I'll also go to Israel in my Easter holidays I think, that'd be good. Don't how how I'd revise for GCSEs, I'll work it out.
I'm auditioning for Les Miserables on Monday, this is something that I have realised that I really, really want. It's strange though, because I'm desperate to be the main part, but in a subtle way. I find it unfair, as we audition the same day we get the music so we can't practice, and it has to be in a microphone which I have no experience with. But perhaps I'm at an advantage because I can pick up music quickly and easily most of the time. I not only want this for me, because I miss being a main character so much and I feel that this is my last chance while at school, but I also want do to this for my brother. I will do it for him, because it is now 2 years today since he died in an Al Qaeda thing in Egypt. And maybe because of this, it will help me get the part subconciously or something. Well, we shall see. But I'm going to pray for this, and if anyone has advice, I'd love to hear it.
I've spent so much money this year I think. I went crazy about yellow, and have a whole outfit and now I'm suddenly mad about red. So I'm going to try my hardest not to buy anything else this year, unless it's mandatory. I did get this really fit shoes though, £20 from £50 and they're so fit! I do need them, I've been wanting shoes like these for ages, they do kind of slip out at the back though, I'm hoping that that can be fixed with an insole thing. My Mum hasn't found out about them yet though, lol. It's been strange for me, I never really spent money before, because I never found anything I particularly liked. But suddenly I found myself liking so much and just wanting it all. And if I had the money on me, I'd just buy it. So now I need to start going out with a lot less money and just being stricter with myself, if I get addicted to shopping my life will be screwed for ever. And I'll be able to get a debit card soon too, and so much money would be wasted. Maybe I won't get a card for a while. It's hard because there's all this really cheap gorgeous summer clothes, and I have to keep on reminding myself that the winter is coming, wait until next summer to buy anything else like this.
I am so excited about our end of year ball. I've never done anything like this before and I've been waiting for this for years! There's also this Year Book that's being made for everyone which is wonderful and I'm going to be on the committe with my friend. I have vague thoughts that this guy wants to ask me to the ball, but everyone hates him so it's difficult for me. Even my friends have bad opinions about him which influences me. But he probably doesn't because he keeps asking other people. I don't mind, less drama for me to go through. I'd just tell him I'd probably go with him, but to ask me again closer to the time. I wonder if anyone else will ask me... Maybe I should ask someone? Who knows.