*Venting*
ok...well, time for some venting, and this is the place to do it. Reasons why I'm pissed off:
1)I began my day mere metres from the bus stop in the pouring rain with my hand out for the bus and the bastard driver ignored my and went past. I had to wait over half an hour for the next bus, stuck in the rain with no shelter cause the council are stingey buggers.
2) My old personal tutor said I could apply to different unis to study different courses, and according to my new one, I can only apply for 1 subject. So now I have to make up my mind which subject to spend the next 3 years studying.
3) One of the subjects I was giong to study is Geoenvironments, but I'm finding it rather hard this year, so I'm faced with 2 choices. Choose that subject and battle through it at a degree-level and if it's too hard drop out - which is NOT an option I want to take. And number 2 is that I go with my fall back option-Modern History, which I'm rathre good at and enjoy it a hell of a lot more than Geoenvironments. The main reason I'm choosing G.E is because it leads onto alot more career prospects.
4) I now have to go to all of the universitys I'm applying to so I can look at the history courses in more detail and inquire as to the combined honours degrees they offer...ideally modern history with geography, which I think 2 of my unis do...
5) On of my university options had some speakers in today at dinner. I asked if they'd be in unil the end of dinner and was told yes. So I went to a talk about what to do if I chose to take a gap year - the guy was 15 minutes late. when it finished and I went back to the uni women, they'd fucked off back to Lancashire.
6) I've realised that I haven't seen my mum in a year and quite frankly I'm having mixed feeling about whether she's the nice person I thought she was or a money grabber...she always goes on about how broke she is. So broke that she can't pay £100 towards my compulsary (coursework) based trip to Scotland, so my dad's had to pay for it all. And despite this, she said she'll pay me £50 for a trip to London which I'm going on with friends and have payed for myself, and when it comes to it, she said her bank in Australia wouldn't let her send so little so she sent £100 over instead that she's convieniently saved up... And throughout all of this protesting that she's 'broke' she's had a fucking palace built over there, with a bloody home cinema, swimming pool and a dock-off garden all built from scratch. She's gone on holiday to Malasia, some place I can't even pronounce or remember, and New Zealand, new car and whatever else she needs...ie diamonds and more shit. So yeah, I'm feeling pissed off with her, yet it's been a year since I've seen her and I've got to wait another fucking year before she can 'afford' to come over here...And that's another thing, she might not of been able to 'afford' to pay a measily £100 towards my geology trip, but she offered to pay for me to fly over to Australia and home again just this Christmas!!! And I can't tell my dad any of this stuff cause he and my grandad treat her like the devel anyway...it just makes everything worse if I talk about her...
7) Because of all this, I've noticed I'm being increasingly ruder/purposefully annoying the people closest to me - especially my bf Andrew. I haven't mentioned any of this stuff to him in a while just to avoid sounding whiney, hence the online venting...and I don't want him to get the wrong idea of my mum cause she is nice...hard as that might seem reading the above...
8)It's a wonder I'm sane at the moment, I feel like my head's about to burst, I just wish everything was as simple as it used to be...
1)I began my day mere metres from the bus stop in the pouring rain with my hand out for the bus and the bastard driver ignored my and went past. I had to wait over half an hour for the next bus, stuck in the rain with no shelter cause the council are stingey buggers.
2) My old personal tutor said I could apply to different unis to study different courses, and according to my new one, I can only apply for 1 subject. So now I have to make up my mind which subject to spend the next 3 years studying.
3) One of the subjects I was giong to study is Geoenvironments, but I'm finding it rather hard this year, so I'm faced with 2 choices. Choose that subject and battle through it at a degree-level and if it's too hard drop out - which is NOT an option I want to take. And number 2 is that I go with my fall back option-Modern History, which I'm rathre good at and enjoy it a hell of a lot more than Geoenvironments. The main reason I'm choosing G.E is because it leads onto alot more career prospects.
4) I now have to go to all of the universitys I'm applying to so I can look at the history courses in more detail and inquire as to the combined honours degrees they offer...ideally modern history with geography, which I think 2 of my unis do...
5) On of my university options had some speakers in today at dinner. I asked if they'd be in unil the end of dinner and was told yes. So I went to a talk about what to do if I chose to take a gap year - the guy was 15 minutes late. when it finished and I went back to the uni women, they'd fucked off back to Lancashire.
6) I've realised that I haven't seen my mum in a year and quite frankly I'm having mixed feeling about whether she's the nice person I thought she was or a money grabber...she always goes on about how broke she is. So broke that she can't pay £100 towards my compulsary (coursework) based trip to Scotland, so my dad's had to pay for it all. And despite this, she said she'll pay me £50 for a trip to London which I'm going on with friends and have payed for myself, and when it comes to it, she said her bank in Australia wouldn't let her send so little so she sent £100 over instead that she's convieniently saved up... And throughout all of this protesting that she's 'broke' she's had a fucking palace built over there, with a bloody home cinema, swimming pool and a dock-off garden all built from scratch. She's gone on holiday to Malasia, some place I can't even pronounce or remember, and New Zealand, new car and whatever else she needs...ie diamonds and more shit. So yeah, I'm feeling pissed off with her, yet it's been a year since I've seen her and I've got to wait another fucking year before she can 'afford' to come over here...And that's another thing, she might not of been able to 'afford' to pay a measily £100 towards my geology trip, but she offered to pay for me to fly over to Australia and home again just this Christmas!!! And I can't tell my dad any of this stuff cause he and my grandad treat her like the devel anyway...it just makes everything worse if I talk about her...
7) Because of all this, I've noticed I'm being increasingly ruder/purposefully annoying the people closest to me - especially my bf Andrew. I haven't mentioned any of this stuff to him in a while just to avoid sounding whiney, hence the online venting...and I don't want him to get the wrong idea of my mum cause she is nice...hard as that might seem reading the above...
8)It's a wonder I'm sane at the moment, I feel like my head's about to burst, I just wish everything was as simple as it used to be...