I could have any man I want to, baby that's actual and factual.

[dogcatcher]

Have you ever masturbated so feverishly that you honestly, honestly, expected sonic booms to come from your dick?

This is that period in the beginning of the year, when I start to write really odd, cryptic ass livejournal posts at 4:44 in the morning, headed by TLC lyrics.

Dear Mother of God, explain this shit.