Lisandro in Blossom

[dogcatcher]

I swear to God, this is not made up.

Lisandro is my roommate from Argentina. He has yet to master the English language, which is why he's uttered some of the following statements.

"She's Jewish, but she's really hot."

"I thought America would be more like The OC."

But this tops those, hands down.

(Fangzhou (Phoenetic Spelling: "Fonz-O") notices Lisandro looking at pictures of some nondescript chick on facebook)

Fangzhou: You need to get laid.

Lisandro: Get late night?

(silence)

Andrew: No. "Get laid."

(silence)

Lisandro: Go get late night?

Fangzhou: No get laid, it means "have sex."

(silence)

Lisandro: You guys need to teach me how to lay.

Andrew: ...We're not going to teach you that, you should already know.

(silence)

Lisandro: Then you will teach me how to conquer a girl?

This is what the fuck I came to college for. Hell yes.