Sonkies.
William swore. It wasn't a particularly bad swearword, because he had a polite upbringing, but when you cut yourself shaving protocol also demands that you swear.
He pressed a towel to it, and pulled open the cabinet to see if he could find a bandage or something. He didn't want to head back to the hut with an open wound. Not because he was scared that Maladicta might fall off the wagon, given that the problem she'd been on a wagon to avoid didn't exist anymore. It just seemed... disrespectful.
All thoughts of this were driven out of his head when he took stock of the contents of the cabinet.
He knew what they were, of course. The Times occasionally got letters informing them that the late Mr Sonky's penny-a-preventatives were in some way indicative of the moral decline of Ankh-Morpork, which William always thought was a bit odd, given that, strictly speaking, Ankh-Morpork had a moral cliff-face. A decline was an improvement, really.
The problem was that while he knew prophylactics existed, it was in a tangential way. They were objects associated with an activity that, while he had thought about it, until recently he'd never had, call it, hands-on experience1. The subject had never come up.
Thus he knew what they were and what they were for, but it had been in the same way as he knew what a carabiner was; he knew it was a piece of equipment concerned with keeping one safe during a particular recreational activity, but not exactly what it looked like, how it was used or why it was essential.
Now he'd suddenly become very aware of the void beneath him and the fact he was completely unsecured. It was a long way down.
Someone had attached instructions, which he read. Then he pocketed one.
He considered some, then stuffed some more in his pockets, trying to find the balance between having enough that he wouldn't need to make trips for these very often and risking having them fall out of his pockets at an inopportune moment.
He was not looking forward to explaining this to Maladicta. Hopefully she knew what they were, she just hadn't thought they were necessary, because presumably vampires didn't need them.
Somehow, he suspected this was not the case, though.
He pressed a towel to it, and pulled open the cabinet to see if he could find a bandage or something. He didn't want to head back to the hut with an open wound. Not because he was scared that Maladicta might fall off the wagon, given that the problem she'd been on a wagon to avoid didn't exist anymore. It just seemed... disrespectful.
All thoughts of this were driven out of his head when he took stock of the contents of the cabinet.
He knew what they were, of course. The Times occasionally got letters informing them that the late Mr Sonky's penny-a-preventatives were in some way indicative of the moral decline of Ankh-Morpork, which William always thought was a bit odd, given that, strictly speaking, Ankh-Morpork had a moral cliff-face. A decline was an improvement, really.
The problem was that while he knew prophylactics existed, it was in a tangential way. They were objects associated with an activity that, while he had thought about it, until recently he'd never had, call it, hands-on experience1. The subject had never come up.
Thus he knew what they were and what they were for, but it had been in the same way as he knew what a carabiner was; he knew it was a piece of equipment concerned with keeping one safe during a particular recreational activity, but not exactly what it looked like, how it was used or why it was essential.
Now he'd suddenly become very aware of the void beneath him and the fact he was completely unsecured. It was a long way down.
Someone had attached instructions, which he read. Then he pocketed one.
He considered some, then stuffed some more in his pockets, trying to find the balance between having enough that he wouldn't need to make trips for these very often and risking having them fall out of his pockets at an inopportune moment.
He was not looking forward to explaining this to Maladicta. Hopefully she knew what they were, she just hadn't thought they were necessary, because presumably vampires didn't need them.
Somehow, he suspected this was not the case, though.