just_muse_me | 21.1.4 Lamartine quote
24.1.4. "Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated." - Lamartine
Co-written with tacticalmind | Follows THIS
It had been a very early morning for both of them, and despite planning on getting a good night's sleep, it just hadn't been able to come. Instead, they spent just about the whole night making love and trying to hope the clock would slow down to just give them that little bit longer together. It hadn't worked, and the alarm was going off before they knew it. The afternoon before, Rob met with the lawyer that her cousin knew, and after calling him and explaining the situation, the guy had happily come to Rob's place to tie up the loose legal ends that had been playing on Rob's mind. He assured him things would be fine, with 30% of his assets going to his family, and the rest to Leila. Also with strict orders that if his ex-wife tried to dispute anything in the event of his death, she was to get nothing. It sucked he had to waste time dealing with it, but it did lift some of the weight from his shoulders knowing Leila would be recognised as his wife legally. He also faxed his amdended details away to the Army so he would be be listed as married and Leila as his wife. That, solely, was the biggest issue for him.
Despite telling her the previous day that he didn't want her to come to the brig for the goodbye, he had renegged somewhere during the night. Why should they say goodbye at the gate when all the rest of the wives and families were on the base saying goodbye at the trucks that would take them to the flight out. It had been a stupid anxiety on his part. Leila deserved the same respect as all the other wives there, which is why they were now standing a short distance away from the other crowds. Couples all around them were trying to bid their last farewells, that always came with the nauseating anxiety that this might really be the last time. Rob, along with his colleagues were adorned in their official uniforms, head to toe, the whole deal. They had walked the distance from his car in the visitor's lot - now in Leila's possession - to the meeting point here, and his pack was lying on the ground beside them. Over by the bus, he heard the call that there was five minutes left, and Rob had to press his lips together in an effort not to be sick from nerves. This was harder than any goodbye he had faced in that past. "Are you alright?" he asked her in a hushed tone, his hands wrapped around hers, which he squeezed softly.
Leila's blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and it swished slightly as she shook her head. There was no point lying. As much as she wanted to be okay, she just wasn't. No part of this was okay. How was she supposed to be happy when she was saying goodbye to Rob? She stretched up to kiss his lips softly, and rest her head against his. She took a deep breath in through her nose, memorising his scent. "I'm selfish, I'm sorry. I don't want this to be it. There hasn't been enough time."
Rob was more than aware that five minutes meant five minutes. There would be no 'just one more minute' requests. That's not how the military worked. His stomach was turning over and over and he felt close to tears, which he was trying desperately to hold off by letting out a heavy breath. He rubbed her back and kissed her again, his fingers softly threading through her long hair. "I know," he agreed hoarsely. "But think of the sex when I get back, yeah?" he joked weakly, smiling at her. "I'll be in touch as soon as I can, okay? First thing I do once everything is settled over there."
Leila nodded, holding his face in hands to kiss him. She didn't want to stop kissing him. Couldn't stop. "I think a lot of my nights will be passed by thinking of the sex when you get back. Just be safe, okay? Promise me that. If you have to stay away, then just please make sure you're safe. You got everything? Got the photos?"
Rob nodded and glanced down at his pack. "Yeah, I've got them safe," he told her and then looked back up to meet her eyes. Tears were pooling in his own before he could battle to stop them again and he had to laugh slightly, reaching up to brush them away. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. I know it hurts. You have to promise me you'll go back to Luke and not be alone, alright? I couldn't handle thinking that you're going to be on your own. Not right now. I wanted to talk to him about taking care of you for me, but I didn't want to freak him out or piss him off. I just want you to be okay."
"I will be." Even if her trembling bottom lip said otherwise. Leila took a deep breath, and huffed out a laugh. "Shit, I'm no good at goodbyes. This is why I try not to get attached. Don't take that the wrong way! If I'm going to be attached to anyone, it's you. I'll talk to Luke on your behalf, make sure he understands. And he will. Otherwise I'm flushing his perfect hair in the toilet. I love you, Littlerock. You just remember that, okay? I love you."
"I ain't gonna forget it, darlin'. I love you," Rob told her as he pulled her into secure hug. Fuck, he really didn't want to let go and the first few days overseas was going to really suck as he tried to wrap his head around everything. He was still buzzing from the marriage, but this wasn't fair. They should have more time! They should be going on their honeymoon, not saying goodbye for however long he was going to be gone for. For a few moments, none of their surroundings existed. It was only Leila he could focus on tried to not even think of the ticking clock against them. If anyone had told him three months ago this is where he would be right now, he would have laughed in their face. He never wanted to get married again, and he was scared to even try to think about love, or even sex. She just swept him off his feet before he even knew what was happening, and it wasn't something he wanted to stop. And now trying to say goodbye, he didn't want to let go. "You're amazing. I hate this, but when I let go, okay, I have to go? I'm going turn and walk away, but I'm not going to look back. I won't be able to go if I do," he warned her.
Leila nodded in his embrace, still fighting against the tears. A part of her wanting to ask him to just stay, but she couldn't. This was his work, his life. She'd married a soldier. She wasn't going to interfere with that. She'd just curse Fate a lot when she got back home. "Please just be okay. Take care of yourself, and don't do anything stupid. If you do, I'll have to come over there and kick your arse."
Rob really wanted to promise not to do anything stupid, but what he was going to be doing was dangerous, there was no denying it. He had watched so many friends get shot or blown up in his time, this wasn't something he could promise her and it ached inside because of it. He was silent at first, still just clinging to her, until the officer in charge put the call out and started barking orders at everyone to board. His eyes fell closed and he pulled back just enough to cup her face and kiss her deeply, but quickly, trying to put everything he was feeling in that final embrace. The previous night together - their wedding night - was something he wasn't going to forget. It was probably what would fuel him on to get him through this posting at the end of the day. "I love you," he whispered against her lips and then pulled away. He caught her eyes just before stooping to get his pack, which he threw heavily over his shoulder to get on. True to his word, though, he walked away, and didn't look back at her, and he was saluting his senior officer and boarding the truck before either of them could actually realise this really was goodbye.
Words: 1452 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse
Co-written with tacticalmind | Follows THIS
It had been a very early morning for both of them, and despite planning on getting a good night's sleep, it just hadn't been able to come. Instead, they spent just about the whole night making love and trying to hope the clock would slow down to just give them that little bit longer together. It hadn't worked, and the alarm was going off before they knew it. The afternoon before, Rob met with the lawyer that her cousin knew, and after calling him and explaining the situation, the guy had happily come to Rob's place to tie up the loose legal ends that had been playing on Rob's mind. He assured him things would be fine, with 30% of his assets going to his family, and the rest to Leila. Also with strict orders that if his ex-wife tried to dispute anything in the event of his death, she was to get nothing. It sucked he had to waste time dealing with it, but it did lift some of the weight from his shoulders knowing Leila would be recognised as his wife legally. He also faxed his amdended details away to the Army so he would be be listed as married and Leila as his wife. That, solely, was the biggest issue for him.
Despite telling her the previous day that he didn't want her to come to the brig for the goodbye, he had renegged somewhere during the night. Why should they say goodbye at the gate when all the rest of the wives and families were on the base saying goodbye at the trucks that would take them to the flight out. It had been a stupid anxiety on his part. Leila deserved the same respect as all the other wives there, which is why they were now standing a short distance away from the other crowds. Couples all around them were trying to bid their last farewells, that always came with the nauseating anxiety that this might really be the last time. Rob, along with his colleagues were adorned in their official uniforms, head to toe, the whole deal. They had walked the distance from his car in the visitor's lot - now in Leila's possession - to the meeting point here, and his pack was lying on the ground beside them. Over by the bus, he heard the call that there was five minutes left, and Rob had to press his lips together in an effort not to be sick from nerves. This was harder than any goodbye he had faced in that past. "Are you alright?" he asked her in a hushed tone, his hands wrapped around hers, which he squeezed softly.
Leila's blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and it swished slightly as she shook her head. There was no point lying. As much as she wanted to be okay, she just wasn't. No part of this was okay. How was she supposed to be happy when she was saying goodbye to Rob? She stretched up to kiss his lips softly, and rest her head against his. She took a deep breath in through her nose, memorising his scent. "I'm selfish, I'm sorry. I don't want this to be it. There hasn't been enough time."
Rob was more than aware that five minutes meant five minutes. There would be no 'just one more minute' requests. That's not how the military worked. His stomach was turning over and over and he felt close to tears, which he was trying desperately to hold off by letting out a heavy breath. He rubbed her back and kissed her again, his fingers softly threading through her long hair. "I know," he agreed hoarsely. "But think of the sex when I get back, yeah?" he joked weakly, smiling at her. "I'll be in touch as soon as I can, okay? First thing I do once everything is settled over there."
Leila nodded, holding his face in hands to kiss him. She didn't want to stop kissing him. Couldn't stop. "I think a lot of my nights will be passed by thinking of the sex when you get back. Just be safe, okay? Promise me that. If you have to stay away, then just please make sure you're safe. You got everything? Got the photos?"
Rob nodded and glanced down at his pack. "Yeah, I've got them safe," he told her and then looked back up to meet her eyes. Tears were pooling in his own before he could battle to stop them again and he had to laugh slightly, reaching up to brush them away. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. I know it hurts. You have to promise me you'll go back to Luke and not be alone, alright? I couldn't handle thinking that you're going to be on your own. Not right now. I wanted to talk to him about taking care of you for me, but I didn't want to freak him out or piss him off. I just want you to be okay."
"I will be." Even if her trembling bottom lip said otherwise. Leila took a deep breath, and huffed out a laugh. "Shit, I'm no good at goodbyes. This is why I try not to get attached. Don't take that the wrong way! If I'm going to be attached to anyone, it's you. I'll talk to Luke on your behalf, make sure he understands. And he will. Otherwise I'm flushing his perfect hair in the toilet. I love you, Littlerock. You just remember that, okay? I love you."
"I ain't gonna forget it, darlin'. I love you," Rob told her as he pulled her into secure hug. Fuck, he really didn't want to let go and the first few days overseas was going to really suck as he tried to wrap his head around everything. He was still buzzing from the marriage, but this wasn't fair. They should have more time! They should be going on their honeymoon, not saying goodbye for however long he was going to be gone for. For a few moments, none of their surroundings existed. It was only Leila he could focus on tried to not even think of the ticking clock against them. If anyone had told him three months ago this is where he would be right now, he would have laughed in their face. He never wanted to get married again, and he was scared to even try to think about love, or even sex. She just swept him off his feet before he even knew what was happening, and it wasn't something he wanted to stop. And now trying to say goodbye, he didn't want to let go. "You're amazing. I hate this, but when I let go, okay, I have to go? I'm going turn and walk away, but I'm not going to look back. I won't be able to go if I do," he warned her.
Leila nodded in his embrace, still fighting against the tears. A part of her wanting to ask him to just stay, but she couldn't. This was his work, his life. She'd married a soldier. She wasn't going to interfere with that. She'd just curse Fate a lot when she got back home. "Please just be okay. Take care of yourself, and don't do anything stupid. If you do, I'll have to come over there and kick your arse."
Rob really wanted to promise not to do anything stupid, but what he was going to be doing was dangerous, there was no denying it. He had watched so many friends get shot or blown up in his time, this wasn't something he could promise her and it ached inside because of it. He was silent at first, still just clinging to her, until the officer in charge put the call out and started barking orders at everyone to board. His eyes fell closed and he pulled back just enough to cup her face and kiss her deeply, but quickly, trying to put everything he was feeling in that final embrace. The previous night together - their wedding night - was something he wasn't going to forget. It was probably what would fuel him on to get him through this posting at the end of the day. "I love you," he whispered against her lips and then pulled away. He caught her eyes just before stooping to get his pack, which he threw heavily over his shoulder to get on. True to his word, though, he walked away, and didn't look back at her, and he was saluting his senior officer and boarding the truck before either of them could actually realise this really was goodbye.
Words: 1452 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse