(no subject)

[doesdance]

i tried to peel a banana but just tore the peel and was left with the underskin and no handle with which to tear it. it is windy today like it means something and i want to jump off my bike and throw it into the street when i'm pedaling as hard as i can up a hill and it's freezing and blowing right at me and i'm getting absolutely nowhere. i just left my house to do something and then forgot to do it, and when i came home and peeled a banana the wrong way somehow. there were a couple of times today when i was visited by the memories of working so hard i'm near nuts just to get myself some sort of very necessary history and then the history is robbed from or broken by me. many themes pertaining to this today. i fortunately haven't dropped or broken anything recently. i've just dropped things and they haven't broken. i've made things that cost just as much as they needed to, and was happy mainly about not using any resources that i didn't have to. but i wasted a perfectly good 20 dollars - that is, five dollars in four separate places - on monday and, each time, knew i was doing it while there was still time to not do it. i got drunk enough to vomit on saturday, so i did it outside in the bushes. i was up all night. i want to set up a big sheet and catch all this damn wind and throw it out onto the highway, god dammit. all i want is to be able to afford a decent stack o glass:


for resons soon-to-be public. i could do a lot of things with more cash, but i'd rob a bank just to get money for honey
http://www.fromtheheartproductions.com/
http://www.caryn.com/indie/film_financing/grants.html
http://staff.lib.msu.edu/harris23/grants/3film.htm
http://www.filmindependent.org/fellowships/filmmaker_grants
http://www.itvs.org/producers/funding.html?gclid=CMCritfz6J8CFVRf2godG3irGw
http://www.midatlanticarts.org/funding/artists_programs/creative_fellowships/index.html?gclid=CMn6__bz6J8CFVZS2godQQbGHQ
http://www.artistcommunities.org/
http://washingtonart.com/beltway/resid1.html
http://www.mesart.com/art/Resources:Artist-in-Residency_Programs
http://www.macdowellcolony.org/
http://www.artfarmnebraska.org/
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