(no subject)
2009 speaks for itself. maybe i'll have to let go of less things next year. i think it's only natural to consider the net flow of this year, whether it waxed or waned. er....
well, i certainly like having conversations more. and i know more people
er... doing more / owning less. i focus my wildness into a clear, revealing spotlight. this is the first decade that i've been aware of, start to finish. i think the 90's started sometime in 1993 for me, probably as soon as i saw jurassic park. i left richmond on the 19th and drove 20 miles per hour at maximum all the way up 95 into a heavy snowswarm and stopped at three gas stations which were all packed with stranded drivers. i wanted to stop and sleep so badly, but that would have made matters so much worse. all of my windows were fogged on the inside and wiping them with a bandanna would just smear the moisture around, and my windshield wipers were freezing over and i had to hunch to see anything at all. i was glad to be doing it in virginia going north instead of missouri going west. it had been a long time since i was persistently and unavoidably and acutely uncomfortable. i had a sharp cramp in my upper back that would pain me whenever i breathed deeply and i tried to stretch or sit in a way that stretched it but i just couldn't, and i remembered the sea, or any job at all. i endured it with a bit of satisfaction.
seven hours to silver spring from richmond. i really didn't have to, but i couldn't help not doing it. i roamed around the woods at guilford with alex yockey in april 2006 just so we could take some pictures and we had to get down a little dirt cliff and across the stream at the bottom. ten feet down, six feet forward. yockey got across in a way i dont remember because the whole time it was happening, the idea of jumping across was turning from amusing to impossible to frightening to burdensome - burdensome in that it had to happen. i could easily climb down and find rocks to step across on, this was the obvious answer and therefore normally the one and only choice, because what would be the point in making it harder? but, on the other hand, i could also jump across. life's been so boring and i'm creating my new self with every new experience. it was stressful to think about. i could climb down and inch across and not have to worry about doing it anymore because it was over, or i could jump across and not have to worry about doing it anymore because i beat it... there was a slope down into the cliff and a tangle of roots not too far from the edge, but the sand on the other side was soft looking, but there was an exposed root at the edge i might catch my toe in, but this is spring and it's tooo thousand sicks and i have been learning to live by the gut, act with my guts and already i'm thinking too much so i spring out into the air and bring my legs forward in a weightless moment of uncertainty and slam feet first into the sand on the other side. alex asks if i'm ok and i say "oh yeah".
december 31st 2009
i didn't get everything done in 2009 but that's what tomorrow's for
well, i certainly like having conversations more. and i know more people
er... doing more / owning less. i focus my wildness into a clear, revealing spotlight. this is the first decade that i've been aware of, start to finish. i think the 90's started sometime in 1993 for me, probably as soon as i saw jurassic park. i left richmond on the 19th and drove 20 miles per hour at maximum all the way up 95 into a heavy snowswarm and stopped at three gas stations which were all packed with stranded drivers. i wanted to stop and sleep so badly, but that would have made matters so much worse. all of my windows were fogged on the inside and wiping them with a bandanna would just smear the moisture around, and my windshield wipers were freezing over and i had to hunch to see anything at all. i was glad to be doing it in virginia going north instead of missouri going west. it had been a long time since i was persistently and unavoidably and acutely uncomfortable. i had a sharp cramp in my upper back that would pain me whenever i breathed deeply and i tried to stretch or sit in a way that stretched it but i just couldn't, and i remembered the sea, or any job at all. i endured it with a bit of satisfaction.
seven hours to silver spring from richmond. i really didn't have to, but i couldn't help not doing it. i roamed around the woods at guilford with alex yockey in april 2006 just so we could take some pictures and we had to get down a little dirt cliff and across the stream at the bottom. ten feet down, six feet forward. yockey got across in a way i dont remember because the whole time it was happening, the idea of jumping across was turning from amusing to impossible to frightening to burdensome - burdensome in that it had to happen. i could easily climb down and find rocks to step across on, this was the obvious answer and therefore normally the one and only choice, because what would be the point in making it harder? but, on the other hand, i could also jump across. life's been so boring and i'm creating my new self with every new experience. it was stressful to think about. i could climb down and inch across and not have to worry about doing it anymore because it was over, or i could jump across and not have to worry about doing it anymore because i beat it... there was a slope down into the cliff and a tangle of roots not too far from the edge, but the sand on the other side was soft looking, but there was an exposed root at the edge i might catch my toe in, but this is spring and it's tooo thousand sicks and i have been learning to live by the gut, act with my guts and already i'm thinking too much so i spring out into the air and bring my legs forward in a weightless moment of uncertainty and slam feet first into the sand on the other side. alex asks if i'm ok and i say "oh yeah".
december 31st 2009
i didn't get everything done in 2009 but that's what tomorrow's for