(no subject)
babe i miss you so much. my day was spent at school thinking of you and never letting go of that thought. after school it was spent in my room, on my bed. in the puddle of tears that acumulated in the few hours i was in that very spot. and now im here, hoping you would return from away so i could fall asleep. And i dont know why your not there. Im just wishing you where. hoping your ok and nothing bad happend. but you promised you'd call. you'd make time to talk to me. and if by some chance you are reading this on your trip. stop right now, and call me. i dont care what time it is or if im in school. leave a message on my phone. just let me know your ok. and every second of my day is wasted on high hopes that you are gonna come knocking at my window. And when you do i'll hold you tightly. And wish to never have to let go. And now all those times when i got mad at you i am wishing that insted i would have held you. Pressing myself aginst you, feeling your warmth. And every time i walked away from you, i am now wishing i would have walked to you. And when i hung up the phone with you, i am wishing that i would have stayed and told you how much i loved you. And every time i looked away from you i rather would have looked in to your eyes and whispered the sweet remorse, 'i love you'. And now im sitting here in my mess of self pitty. i have forgotten about how your feeling. But i imagine your feeling the same, feeling alone and dieing to hear one word of my clensing voice. Every time i call you, i sit and wait for it to ring. Waiting for two words to flow out of your perfectly formed lips, "hello sweetheart". That would be all i needed to fall asleep easily. But all i get is your voice mail, and i press star. Just to hear you say your name, because thats all i can get right now. And my eyes have been red all day from crying them out when you dont knock on the nearest window or door. I miss you so much its hard to tolerate. And i hope we get to talk some more this week. Im sorry its like this. I love you my great napenthe.
-Pumpkin