Skinny Dip
Title: Skinny Dip
Author: Dodo Chaplet
Pair: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
They had been on stake-out for so long that, had he not see the trail of destruction himself, Ianto would have thought Jack imagined a herd of flesh-eating mares grazing their way through the city. Several hours later it appeared that the menace had gone back from whence it came, for Jack and Ianto had been sitting in the SUV for just that long and there was no sign of the thundering beasts.
Ianto’s head dropped onto his chest, only to jerk back up in an attempt to appear alert. He looked over and saw Jack leaned back in the driver’s seat, eyes closed but still awake.
“Nice try, Ianto. You’ve been out for a good twenty minutes.” Jack’s eyes were still closed.
“Yes, I’ve been meaning to speak to you about that.” Ianto was droll, even when wiping drool off of his chin.
Jack slowly opened his eyes. “Really? Funny that, I’ve been meaning to speak to you about your behavior on the job.”
Ianto shifted in his seat so that his back was against the door. He rested his elbow on the door and he flicked his fingers against the top of the closed window, “Care to elaborate, sir?”
“As a matter of fact I do. Yesterday you nodded off during the meeting. The whole time you were sitting there like JFK.” Ianto ticked an eyebrow, What the fuck are you talking about, Jack?
“You know, back and to the left.” Jack jerked his head like a ghoul. Ianto screwed up his face and shook his head.
“That’s disgusting, Jack.” The sparkle in Ianto’s eyes belied his stern words.
“Don’t you sass me, Jones!” Jack was brimming with false indignation. Ianto looked at Jack. Sass? He had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. He could see that Jack was having a similarly difficult time maintaining a straight face.
“The day before that, I caught you standing in the kitchen, staring into space and humping the countertop.” Jack started cracking up before he could finish the sentence. ‘Humping the countertop’ came out less like words and more as a series syllables pushed out of a steam engine. This set Ianto off and after one vulgar snort, he was choking and crying, trying to catch his breath laughing.
Contrary to popular belief, when Jack and Ianto were alone together, it wasn’t just fuck, fuck, fuck all the time. They did actually enjoy one another’s company. They were completely at ease with one another, not that that altered their behavior much from what the rest of the team saw. Jack would always act out, while Ianto could convey legions with just an eyebrow. But when it was just the two of them, they found themselves becoming increasingly dopey around one another. No matter who they were in the daylight, after sundown they had a tendency to behave like two naughty children.
Jack was always daring Ianto to misbehave. Ianto spent one day in the tourist office pretending that he didn’t speak English, simply because Jack bet him that he wouldn’t do it. It really was a sucker’s bet though. Jack knew Ianto would do it, and Ianto knew Jack wanted to lose.
The door swung both ways, though. Ianto collected handsomely when he bet Jack that he couldn’t go three hours without saying his own name. Jack jumped at the challenge. “No problem,” he said. He didn’t last 45 minutes. On his way back from investigating what turned out to be a ring of toadstools, Jack ran into a meeting of the WI. So many smiling pensioners, Jack was a goner.
On nights such as this one, when they’re stuck in a freezing car waiting for something that they both knew wasn’t going to happen, it didn’t take much to set them off. Before long all they couldn’t even look at one another without cracking up. It took several minutes of deep breathing in order to calm themselves down. At one point, Ianto had to actually get out of the car and walk around it a few times because Jack wouldn’t stop saying, “It’s a simple clean-up operation. I crapped myself.”
When he got back into the SUV, Ianto punched Jack on the arm really hard. “Stop saying that. I’m serious, Jack.”
Jack cackled one last time, punching his fist on the ceiling of the car. Ianto sat next to him laughing. The whole evening was cold and sparkling. The winter night had made them hyper-alert and the outside air felt like tiny, freezing sparks all over Ianto’s skin. That night the sick darkness inside of him was far, far away. He watched Jack laughing at his own stupid joke. Ianto’s whole world was right there, sitting behind the wheel of a million pound vehicle and howling about defecation. He had no choice but to surrender.
Jack sat up in his seat and turned to Ianto. “Let’s go skinny dipping!” The look on his face would make a person believe he had just invented the idea of swimming in the nude.
“No, Jack. No.” Ianto was whining. Perhaps he wasn’t ready to surrender quite that much. “It’s 20 degrees out. We would seriously harm ourselves if we were to skinny dip. Hypothermia. Think about it.”
“You are such a kindergarten baby, Jones! Where’s your sense of adventure? Have you never skinny dipped before?” Jack was incredulous.
“Whether or not I have dipped my skinny is none of your business.” Ianto held firm, looking Jack right in the eye. “But I do know an appropriate location.”
Twenty-five minutes later Jack cut the engine on the SUV and coasted into the gravel parking lot next to the lake. Sometimes Jack liked to pretend he didn’t outrank the local police. They got out of the car, giggling and talking to each other on their comms. “You go left, I’ll go right!” Jack whispered.
“Cheers, I’ll meet you in front of the SUV.” Then they closed the car doors and walked over to a hedge, about chest high, surrounding the lake. Which wasn’t really a lake so much as it was water hazard at the most exclusive country club in the city.
Jack stood back and watched Ianto walk slowly along the hedge, crouched down like he was looking for something about a foot off the ground. It wasn’t a minute before he touched his comm. “Take fourteen steps and you will come to a small opening in the hedge. You will know you have reached it when you see me, Ianto Jones, crouching on the grass.”
Jack bit his lips and tried not to guffaw out into the silent dark. He took the required number of steps and knelt down next to Ianto. Their heads were so close together that they no longer needed their comms, they simply whispered to one another.
“You must be very careful,” Ianto warned. “There’s a caretaker who sits right over there.” He pointed to the left, his long finger looked skeletal in the moonlight. Jack glanced over and saw a small cottage set back from the rest of the course.
“Armed?” Jack asked.
Ianto shrugged. “Perhaps?”
“Ok, I see. Anything else I should know about?” Jack’s silvery profile looked like a bright coin glowing just past Ianto’s shoulder.
“For a long time it was a common belief that a pack of feral hounds roamed the course at night, searching for interlopers and sorting them out. This was eventually found to be false when a student whose father was a member informed us that that was not the case. Though knowing what I do know about the Rift, I’m beginning to think that perhaps he was full of shit.”
Jack nodded, fully understanding what Ianto was saying. They might as well have been ordering dinner.
“Though,” Ianto continued. “We did find that hook-handed man not so long ago.”
“Yeah, I do remember that,” said Jack. “Though he was less of a hook-handed man and more of a biped with an enormous curved blade of bone growing out of its forearm.” He held up his hand and demonstrated a scraping motion.
“That’s true,” Ianto nodded. “You’re absolutely right. Scratch that. Either way, we should keep an eye out for mad dogs.”
For a split second, everything Jack knew about any creature even resembling a mad dog flashed through his mind. Then he shook his head, reminding himself that they were just playing a game.
“Yes,” Ianto said. “Care taker, possibly armed. Feral hounds, possibly apocryphal.” He crouched a little closer to the ground and prepared to climb through the gap in the hedge. Just before he went, he turned back to Jack. “And there’s razor wire running through the hedge.”
Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Ianto had already disappeared. “Shit,” he muttered to himself as he took off his greatcoat, leaving it on the ground and following Ianto through the hedge.
On the other side it took him a moment to locate Ianto, who was still crouched, hiding in the shadow of the hedge. Jack crawled over to him and hissed. “This skinny dipping has become an awful lot like work, Ianto.”
“Need I remind you that this was your idea?” Ianto held his poker face. Jack shook his head. “Then shut up and do what I say. Now, if I remember correctly, and I do, that light over there should go out in --” he looked at his watch.
“What, no stopwatch? Jack teased.
“Shut up! -- approximately three minutes.” Ianto pointed to the care taker's cottage, where a lamp glowed in the front window. Jack could clearly see someone moving around inside. “We wait until that light goes out, then it’s into the drink with you.” Ianto sat back onto the ground, leaning on his hands. Jack did the same.
“So, how do you so much about this place?”
“We came here in school. Everyone did. Sneaking into the country club was a right of passage, I guess.” Ianto looked over at Jack. “Sarah Williams gave me a blow job right over there.” He jerked his chin. “My first.”
“Really?” Jack thought that maybe waiting wouldn’t be so bad. “What was it like?”
“It’s difficult to say. I had no real idea of what it felt like, so I had no comparison. Couple that with the fact that I was seventeen and on the verge of explosion, she could have come at me like a weevil and I still would have come down her throat. And before you ask, yes, I did just that.”
“Did she choke?” Ianto curled his lip and shook his head, refusing to answer. Jack laughed and stomped his feet on the ground. He stopped abruptly when he saw that Ianto had started removing his clothes.
“Come on, Jack. We have to be ready when the light goes out. You can’t stumble into the water with your trousers around your knees. I’m sure you’ll drown and then we’d have to come drag the bottom to fish you out. Could you talk your way out of that one? I should let you try sometime.”
“You would never do that to me because you know I could talk my way out of it. Then you’d lose face in front of the whole team.”
“What the hell are you going on about?" Ianto said. "The light just went off, let’s go.”
Jack stripped off the rest of his clothes, gasping when the icy air touched him. Perhaps it was a little colder than he thought. He ran to catch up to Ianto who was already at the edge of the pond. Since they were in stealth mode, they couldn’t dash into the water, whooping and splashing around, though Jack highly doubted that Ianto had ever whooped in his life. He didn’t know it, but Jack was right.
They paused for a split second, anticipating the water temperature, and then waded in as quickly and silently as possible, which was neither quick nor silent.
“Oh, God!” Jack shouted. The water froze the air in his lungs. When he caught his breath, he giggled nervously, like that was the only way his body could process the cold.
Ianto let out a long, sharp noise, like a rabbit’s scream, then ducked his head under the water. When he came up a second later, he was making a frantic panting sound similar to the one Jack was making. Finally he managed to speak, “Go.”
That was all it took. Jack was out of the water like a flash, with Ianto right behind him. They ran back up the bank toward the shadows. Jack didn’t bother to stop running, he just grabbed his clothes and vaulted over the hedge. Ianto took the time to put on his trousers and overcoat before crawling back through the gap.
They reached the SUV at the same time. Jack was frantically clawing around for the keys in his pants pocket. Unfortunately, his pants were a tangled, inside-out mess that had been wrapped around his arm a few times. Ianto, who had retained his pants’ pristine condition, located his keys easily and unlocked the door with the remote key-pad.
Once they were in the SUV, Jack wrapped himself up in his greatcoat. He was shivering in the backseat. “Oh my god, I’m so cold!”
Ianto pulled his t-shirt over his head. “You’re being awfully whiny about this, Jack. You can’t be that cold.”
“I’m not. But it is cold. So you should come back here and warm me up.” Jack flipped his greatcoat open, revealing his awesome body. He was definitely not cold. He had given himself six or eight hard, tight strokes under his coat and he was so ready to go.
Ianto opened his mouth to speak but he only managed to sigh. Jack looked so good, Ianto nodded in silent thanks. Ianto tingled with the wonderful feeling of warming up, his core temperature was rising, but his skin was still chilled and dotted with gooseflesh. Had he been home alone, he would have slipped between cool, heavy sheets beneath a crisp duvet. It would be heaven. But he wasn’t alone, he was with Jack; climbing into the backseat of the SUV bordered upon an out-of-body experience.
Jack was so warm, Ianto climbed onto his lap, straddling and facing him. Jack’s hands grabbed his hips and pulled him close. They kissed hard, with tongue, but they didn’t linger. They greeted one another like old friends. Ianto spoke to Jack through firm, playful kisses that said over and over again, “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” Jack lapped them up, telling Ianto everything that could never be said. “You keep me alive.” Ianto’s lips read these kisses like sign language. Ianto understood that he could never know all that had happened to Jack, all that he had lived through. He didn’t really want to know. All that mattered was that he was here with Jack right then, and knew that he would be that night, and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
It was a fact that Ianto would die first. Ianto would never have to live without Jack, so now he was free to give himself over entirely. If he paused to think about it, this argument was ridiculous. Who the hell knew what would happen to Jack? If the hints he’s gathered over the years add up to what he thinks they do, death for Jack would be the greatest gift anyone could give.
Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly self-destructive, Ianto would imagine what it would be like if he and he alone had the power to kill Jack. Would he use it? What if Jack asked outright, begged Ianto to kill him? Would he be able to go through with it? He felt like a child telling himself stories of the bogyman. What was the worst possible thing that could happen? He and he alone had the power to put Jack out of his misery.
This was Ianto’s current favorite fantasy. Jack had annihilated any and all sexual boundaries he’d ever had, so it was difficult to fantasize about what could possibly be in store for the two of them. He was sure that Jack would surprise him again, and probably quite soon, but he had no way of knowing what Jack had in mind.
Now that Jack had filled that void in his life, he often had to retreat to fantasy when he wanted to feel the numb comfort of self-loathing. Retreating into it felt like putting on an old, threadbare pair of pajamas; covered in stains and smelling suspect. He had worn the armor of misery for so long that, now that he had a reason to wake up in the morning, he kind of missed it. During these times he created horrible scenarios in his head and allowed himself to fail miserably.
But right then, shivering together in the backseat of the SUV, Ianto was sure that this was the happiest he had ever been. Jack was naked underneath him. He watched Jack’s cock hump against his leg and knew that he would never again see a sight so beautiful. In a flash, Ianto whipped off his t-shirt and opened his trousers. His dick was that gorgeous stage right before it was fully hard. It was thick and fat, flopping over his leg.
Jack watched Ianto roll his hand across his cock. It reminded him of a perfectly prepared steak. He pushed his shoulders against the seat, settling down a little and pulling Ianto closer. “Are you going to suck my dick?” Jack’s smile was so lazy. Ianto groaned and rolled his hips; Jack’s bedroom eyes never wavered. Ianto slid off of Jack’s lap and onto his knees. Jack’s legs were spread wide. His skin smelled like wet leaves.
Jack’s cock was so hot. Ianto could feel it get harder as he started to lick his way up from the base. When he finally took it into his mouth he felt the large veins pop out just a little more. Jack sighed and ran his hand through Ianto’s damp hair. “You’re so good at this.”
That made Ianto shudder and he opened his throat, taking more of Jack than he ever thought possible. When he and Jack first started dabbling, Ianto well knew that he loved getting his dick sucked. He just didn’t really know how to reciprocate. Obviously it seemed basic enough, just do to Jack what he liked Jack to do to him. That was easier said than done. The things Jack did with his mouth were indescribable and, while in the midst of it, Ianto couldn’t really pause to say, “That, right there. How do you do that?” And once it was over, Ianto was luck to remember his own name.
Jack was extremely patient with Ianto, guiding him and offering suggestions. And since Ianto Jones always did his homework, it wasn’t long before Ianto was regularly delivering varsity level blowjobs. But varsity wasn’t good enough, Ianto wanted to go pro. He dug out his old, dusty porn, ever since Jack it had ceased to do anything for him, and studied the girls’ techniques. The next time he saw Jack he had a whole new bag of tricks. Many of these tricks he was performing for Jack in the back of the SUV.
Ianto swallowed Jack’s cock all the way back, while firmly pulling on his balls. He could hear Jack panting and gulping for air. Ianto wasn’t surprised when Jack roughly pushed his head away and grabbed his shoulder, hauling him up. Ianto knelt in the seat, his stomach braced against the backrest. He rested on his chest with his head hanging over into the cargo area.
Jack slapped his ass really hard, making Ianto yelp like a puppy. “Get off!” Jack may have been speaking to Ianto’s trousers. Ianto unfastened his pants and Jack jerked them down to his knees, burying his face in Ianto’s ass. The feeling unhinged him and all he could do was gasp and laugh like a madman. He squirmed, but he didn’t know if he was trying to get away from it or fuck Jack’s face.
Ianto knew how much Jack loved sticking his tongue up his ass. He could hear him whispering under his breath. He couldn’t understand the words, but it didn’t matter. Jack stretched him wide, sliding his fingers in and out and practically gnawing on Ianto’s taint. He wanted to climb over the backseat just to get away from it. Only he didn’t want to get away from it, he wanted more. Just then Jack pulled away and bit Ianto’s ass. Hard. Ianto yelped again. Jack slapped his cock against Ianto’s asshole as if to say, “Ready or not, here I come!”
And come they did. Jack seized Ianto’s hips and rode him so hard that Ianto had to brace his hands in order to keep from getting fucked right into the cargo hold. His shot his load all over himself and the upholstery, never once worrying about stains. How could he think about cumstains when he could feel Jack's greatcoat rubbing against the backs of his legs.
Ianto pushed his ass back against Jack, trying to slow him down. Jack was frantic when he did that, slamming against him. “Come on!” Jack’s voice was low and urgent. Ianto leaned up a little, allowing Jack to reset the pace. That was all it took. Jack squeezed Ianto’s hips, pushing them down just a bit so that he could use him that much harder. Ianto loved it when Jack held him like that. At those times he felt like he was the only thing on Earth that could keep Captain Jack from floating off into the stars.
Jack rocked back, half wedging himself between the front seats. Ianto shifted about for a minute, trying to figure out how to sit down without adding to the rapidly spreading wet spots on the upholstery. Finally he just sat down. The SUV would have to be detailed within an inch of its life anyway, what was one more smear.
They sat and looked at each other for a while, indolent and content. They had been doing this for so long that it was no longer a novelty. Ianto was able to look at Jack’s body without a hint of embarrassment. It was beautiful, Jack would always be beautiful, but Ianto was no longer shy. In fact, Ianto’s need to tend to Jack had grown past the office and became quite personal. Jack’s eyebrows had a tendency to grow wild if left unchecked. At least once a week Jack was subjected to the attention of Ianto’s tweezers. It wasn’t all one-sided though. Jack looked after Ianto as well. Every few days Ianto would call Jack into the shower to shave the stray hairs that grew on the back of his neck. This delicate act either ended with a quick, hot pull or the promise of something obscene later on. All in all, it was an excellent arrangement.
Jack’s face broke into a magnificent smile. Ianto fell over onto the seat, his trousers still around his thighs. “That was amazing,” he said. “So much better than Sarah Williams. She was vicious with her teeth and never used her hands.” This made Jack laugh like a crazy man, which, in turn, set Ianto off. They giggled together, breathless and boneless.
After a bit they pulled themselves together and drove back to the Hub. By that point, all Ianto could think about was brushing his teeth. If he could do that, he would gladly sleep in his damp clothes. He fumbled around in his pocket for his car keys, praying to some astral god that he would be able to make it to bed in one piece.
Jack walked around the SUV and started walking toward the entrance to the Hub. When he realized Ianto wasn’t following him, he stopped. “Aren’t you coming home?”
Ianto closed his eyes, not knowing if he could laugh or cry. In the end, in Jack’s hard, awkward bed, he did both.
Author: Dodo Chaplet
Pair: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
They had been on stake-out for so long that, had he not see the trail of destruction himself, Ianto would have thought Jack imagined a herd of flesh-eating mares grazing their way through the city. Several hours later it appeared that the menace had gone back from whence it came, for Jack and Ianto had been sitting in the SUV for just that long and there was no sign of the thundering beasts.
Ianto’s head dropped onto his chest, only to jerk back up in an attempt to appear alert. He looked over and saw Jack leaned back in the driver’s seat, eyes closed but still awake.
“Nice try, Ianto. You’ve been out for a good twenty minutes.” Jack’s eyes were still closed.
“Yes, I’ve been meaning to speak to you about that.” Ianto was droll, even when wiping drool off of his chin.
Jack slowly opened his eyes. “Really? Funny that, I’ve been meaning to speak to you about your behavior on the job.”
Ianto shifted in his seat so that his back was against the door. He rested his elbow on the door and he flicked his fingers against the top of the closed window, “Care to elaborate, sir?”
“As a matter of fact I do. Yesterday you nodded off during the meeting. The whole time you were sitting there like JFK.” Ianto ticked an eyebrow, What the fuck are you talking about, Jack?
“You know, back and to the left.” Jack jerked his head like a ghoul. Ianto screwed up his face and shook his head.
“That’s disgusting, Jack.” The sparkle in Ianto’s eyes belied his stern words.
“Don’t you sass me, Jones!” Jack was brimming with false indignation. Ianto looked at Jack. Sass? He had to bite his cheek to keep from laughing. He could see that Jack was having a similarly difficult time maintaining a straight face.
“The day before that, I caught you standing in the kitchen, staring into space and humping the countertop.” Jack started cracking up before he could finish the sentence. ‘Humping the countertop’ came out less like words and more as a series syllables pushed out of a steam engine. This set Ianto off and after one vulgar snort, he was choking and crying, trying to catch his breath laughing.
Contrary to popular belief, when Jack and Ianto were alone together, it wasn’t just fuck, fuck, fuck all the time. They did actually enjoy one another’s company. They were completely at ease with one another, not that that altered their behavior much from what the rest of the team saw. Jack would always act out, while Ianto could convey legions with just an eyebrow. But when it was just the two of them, they found themselves becoming increasingly dopey around one another. No matter who they were in the daylight, after sundown they had a tendency to behave like two naughty children.
Jack was always daring Ianto to misbehave. Ianto spent one day in the tourist office pretending that he didn’t speak English, simply because Jack bet him that he wouldn’t do it. It really was a sucker’s bet though. Jack knew Ianto would do it, and Ianto knew Jack wanted to lose.
The door swung both ways, though. Ianto collected handsomely when he bet Jack that he couldn’t go three hours without saying his own name. Jack jumped at the challenge. “No problem,” he said. He didn’t last 45 minutes. On his way back from investigating what turned out to be a ring of toadstools, Jack ran into a meeting of the WI. So many smiling pensioners, Jack was a goner.
On nights such as this one, when they’re stuck in a freezing car waiting for something that they both knew wasn’t going to happen, it didn’t take much to set them off. Before long all they couldn’t even look at one another without cracking up. It took several minutes of deep breathing in order to calm themselves down. At one point, Ianto had to actually get out of the car and walk around it a few times because Jack wouldn’t stop saying, “It’s a simple clean-up operation. I crapped myself.”
When he got back into the SUV, Ianto punched Jack on the arm really hard. “Stop saying that. I’m serious, Jack.”
Jack cackled one last time, punching his fist on the ceiling of the car. Ianto sat next to him laughing. The whole evening was cold and sparkling. The winter night had made them hyper-alert and the outside air felt like tiny, freezing sparks all over Ianto’s skin. That night the sick darkness inside of him was far, far away. He watched Jack laughing at his own stupid joke. Ianto’s whole world was right there, sitting behind the wheel of a million pound vehicle and howling about defecation. He had no choice but to surrender.
Jack sat up in his seat and turned to Ianto. “Let’s go skinny dipping!” The look on his face would make a person believe he had just invented the idea of swimming in the nude.
“No, Jack. No.” Ianto was whining. Perhaps he wasn’t ready to surrender quite that much. “It’s 20 degrees out. We would seriously harm ourselves if we were to skinny dip. Hypothermia. Think about it.”
“You are such a kindergarten baby, Jones! Where’s your sense of adventure? Have you never skinny dipped before?” Jack was incredulous.
“Whether or not I have dipped my skinny is none of your business.” Ianto held firm, looking Jack right in the eye. “But I do know an appropriate location.”
Twenty-five minutes later Jack cut the engine on the SUV and coasted into the gravel parking lot next to the lake. Sometimes Jack liked to pretend he didn’t outrank the local police. They got out of the car, giggling and talking to each other on their comms. “You go left, I’ll go right!” Jack whispered.
“Cheers, I’ll meet you in front of the SUV.” Then they closed the car doors and walked over to a hedge, about chest high, surrounding the lake. Which wasn’t really a lake so much as it was water hazard at the most exclusive country club in the city.
Jack stood back and watched Ianto walk slowly along the hedge, crouched down like he was looking for something about a foot off the ground. It wasn’t a minute before he touched his comm. “Take fourteen steps and you will come to a small opening in the hedge. You will know you have reached it when you see me, Ianto Jones, crouching on the grass.”
Jack bit his lips and tried not to guffaw out into the silent dark. He took the required number of steps and knelt down next to Ianto. Their heads were so close together that they no longer needed their comms, they simply whispered to one another.
“You must be very careful,” Ianto warned. “There’s a caretaker who sits right over there.” He pointed to the left, his long finger looked skeletal in the moonlight. Jack glanced over and saw a small cottage set back from the rest of the course.
“Armed?” Jack asked.
Ianto shrugged. “Perhaps?”
“Ok, I see. Anything else I should know about?” Jack’s silvery profile looked like a bright coin glowing just past Ianto’s shoulder.
“For a long time it was a common belief that a pack of feral hounds roamed the course at night, searching for interlopers and sorting them out. This was eventually found to be false when a student whose father was a member informed us that that was not the case. Though knowing what I do know about the Rift, I’m beginning to think that perhaps he was full of shit.”
Jack nodded, fully understanding what Ianto was saying. They might as well have been ordering dinner.
“Though,” Ianto continued. “We did find that hook-handed man not so long ago.”
“Yeah, I do remember that,” said Jack. “Though he was less of a hook-handed man and more of a biped with an enormous curved blade of bone growing out of its forearm.” He held up his hand and demonstrated a scraping motion.
“That’s true,” Ianto nodded. “You’re absolutely right. Scratch that. Either way, we should keep an eye out for mad dogs.”
For a split second, everything Jack knew about any creature even resembling a mad dog flashed through his mind. Then he shook his head, reminding himself that they were just playing a game.
“Yes,” Ianto said. “Care taker, possibly armed. Feral hounds, possibly apocryphal.” He crouched a little closer to the ground and prepared to climb through the gap in the hedge. Just before he went, he turned back to Jack. “And there’s razor wire running through the hedge.”
Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Ianto had already disappeared. “Shit,” he muttered to himself as he took off his greatcoat, leaving it on the ground and following Ianto through the hedge.
On the other side it took him a moment to locate Ianto, who was still crouched, hiding in the shadow of the hedge. Jack crawled over to him and hissed. “This skinny dipping has become an awful lot like work, Ianto.”
“Need I remind you that this was your idea?” Ianto held his poker face. Jack shook his head. “Then shut up and do what I say. Now, if I remember correctly, and I do, that light over there should go out in --” he looked at his watch.
“What, no stopwatch? Jack teased.
“Shut up! -- approximately three minutes.” Ianto pointed to the care taker's cottage, where a lamp glowed in the front window. Jack could clearly see someone moving around inside. “We wait until that light goes out, then it’s into the drink with you.” Ianto sat back onto the ground, leaning on his hands. Jack did the same.
“So, how do you so much about this place?”
“We came here in school. Everyone did. Sneaking into the country club was a right of passage, I guess.” Ianto looked over at Jack. “Sarah Williams gave me a blow job right over there.” He jerked his chin. “My first.”
“Really?” Jack thought that maybe waiting wouldn’t be so bad. “What was it like?”
“It’s difficult to say. I had no real idea of what it felt like, so I had no comparison. Couple that with the fact that I was seventeen and on the verge of explosion, she could have come at me like a weevil and I still would have come down her throat. And before you ask, yes, I did just that.”
“Did she choke?” Ianto curled his lip and shook his head, refusing to answer. Jack laughed and stomped his feet on the ground. He stopped abruptly when he saw that Ianto had started removing his clothes.
“Come on, Jack. We have to be ready when the light goes out. You can’t stumble into the water with your trousers around your knees. I’m sure you’ll drown and then we’d have to come drag the bottom to fish you out. Could you talk your way out of that one? I should let you try sometime.”
“You would never do that to me because you know I could talk my way out of it. Then you’d lose face in front of the whole team.”
“What the hell are you going on about?" Ianto said. "The light just went off, let’s go.”
Jack stripped off the rest of his clothes, gasping when the icy air touched him. Perhaps it was a little colder than he thought. He ran to catch up to Ianto who was already at the edge of the pond. Since they were in stealth mode, they couldn’t dash into the water, whooping and splashing around, though Jack highly doubted that Ianto had ever whooped in his life. He didn’t know it, but Jack was right.
They paused for a split second, anticipating the water temperature, and then waded in as quickly and silently as possible, which was neither quick nor silent.
“Oh, God!” Jack shouted. The water froze the air in his lungs. When he caught his breath, he giggled nervously, like that was the only way his body could process the cold.
Ianto let out a long, sharp noise, like a rabbit’s scream, then ducked his head under the water. When he came up a second later, he was making a frantic panting sound similar to the one Jack was making. Finally he managed to speak, “Go.”
That was all it took. Jack was out of the water like a flash, with Ianto right behind him. They ran back up the bank toward the shadows. Jack didn’t bother to stop running, he just grabbed his clothes and vaulted over the hedge. Ianto took the time to put on his trousers and overcoat before crawling back through the gap.
They reached the SUV at the same time. Jack was frantically clawing around for the keys in his pants pocket. Unfortunately, his pants were a tangled, inside-out mess that had been wrapped around his arm a few times. Ianto, who had retained his pants’ pristine condition, located his keys easily and unlocked the door with the remote key-pad.
Once they were in the SUV, Jack wrapped himself up in his greatcoat. He was shivering in the backseat. “Oh my god, I’m so cold!”
Ianto pulled his t-shirt over his head. “You’re being awfully whiny about this, Jack. You can’t be that cold.”
“I’m not. But it is cold. So you should come back here and warm me up.” Jack flipped his greatcoat open, revealing his awesome body. He was definitely not cold. He had given himself six or eight hard, tight strokes under his coat and he was so ready to go.
Ianto opened his mouth to speak but he only managed to sigh. Jack looked so good, Ianto nodded in silent thanks. Ianto tingled with the wonderful feeling of warming up, his core temperature was rising, but his skin was still chilled and dotted with gooseflesh. Had he been home alone, he would have slipped between cool, heavy sheets beneath a crisp duvet. It would be heaven. But he wasn’t alone, he was with Jack; climbing into the backseat of the SUV bordered upon an out-of-body experience.
Jack was so warm, Ianto climbed onto his lap, straddling and facing him. Jack’s hands grabbed his hips and pulled him close. They kissed hard, with tongue, but they didn’t linger. They greeted one another like old friends. Ianto spoke to Jack through firm, playful kisses that said over and over again, “You are the best thing that ever happened to me.” Jack lapped them up, telling Ianto everything that could never be said. “You keep me alive.” Ianto’s lips read these kisses like sign language. Ianto understood that he could never know all that had happened to Jack, all that he had lived through. He didn’t really want to know. All that mattered was that he was here with Jack right then, and knew that he would be that night, and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
It was a fact that Ianto would die first. Ianto would never have to live without Jack, so now he was free to give himself over entirely. If he paused to think about it, this argument was ridiculous. Who the hell knew what would happen to Jack? If the hints he’s gathered over the years add up to what he thinks they do, death for Jack would be the greatest gift anyone could give.
Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly self-destructive, Ianto would imagine what it would be like if he and he alone had the power to kill Jack. Would he use it? What if Jack asked outright, begged Ianto to kill him? Would he be able to go through with it? He felt like a child telling himself stories of the bogyman. What was the worst possible thing that could happen? He and he alone had the power to put Jack out of his misery.
This was Ianto’s current favorite fantasy. Jack had annihilated any and all sexual boundaries he’d ever had, so it was difficult to fantasize about what could possibly be in store for the two of them. He was sure that Jack would surprise him again, and probably quite soon, but he had no way of knowing what Jack had in mind.
Now that Jack had filled that void in his life, he often had to retreat to fantasy when he wanted to feel the numb comfort of self-loathing. Retreating into it felt like putting on an old, threadbare pair of pajamas; covered in stains and smelling suspect. He had worn the armor of misery for so long that, now that he had a reason to wake up in the morning, he kind of missed it. During these times he created horrible scenarios in his head and allowed himself to fail miserably.
But right then, shivering together in the backseat of the SUV, Ianto was sure that this was the happiest he had ever been. Jack was naked underneath him. He watched Jack’s cock hump against his leg and knew that he would never again see a sight so beautiful. In a flash, Ianto whipped off his t-shirt and opened his trousers. His dick was that gorgeous stage right before it was fully hard. It was thick and fat, flopping over his leg.
Jack watched Ianto roll his hand across his cock. It reminded him of a perfectly prepared steak. He pushed his shoulders against the seat, settling down a little and pulling Ianto closer. “Are you going to suck my dick?” Jack’s smile was so lazy. Ianto groaned and rolled his hips; Jack’s bedroom eyes never wavered. Ianto slid off of Jack’s lap and onto his knees. Jack’s legs were spread wide. His skin smelled like wet leaves.
Jack’s cock was so hot. Ianto could feel it get harder as he started to lick his way up from the base. When he finally took it into his mouth he felt the large veins pop out just a little more. Jack sighed and ran his hand through Ianto’s damp hair. “You’re so good at this.”
That made Ianto shudder and he opened his throat, taking more of Jack than he ever thought possible. When he and Jack first started dabbling, Ianto well knew that he loved getting his dick sucked. He just didn’t really know how to reciprocate. Obviously it seemed basic enough, just do to Jack what he liked Jack to do to him. That was easier said than done. The things Jack did with his mouth were indescribable and, while in the midst of it, Ianto couldn’t really pause to say, “That, right there. How do you do that?” And once it was over, Ianto was luck to remember his own name.
Jack was extremely patient with Ianto, guiding him and offering suggestions. And since Ianto Jones always did his homework, it wasn’t long before Ianto was regularly delivering varsity level blowjobs. But varsity wasn’t good enough, Ianto wanted to go pro. He dug out his old, dusty porn, ever since Jack it had ceased to do anything for him, and studied the girls’ techniques. The next time he saw Jack he had a whole new bag of tricks. Many of these tricks he was performing for Jack in the back of the SUV.
Ianto swallowed Jack’s cock all the way back, while firmly pulling on his balls. He could hear Jack panting and gulping for air. Ianto wasn’t surprised when Jack roughly pushed his head away and grabbed his shoulder, hauling him up. Ianto knelt in the seat, his stomach braced against the backrest. He rested on his chest with his head hanging over into the cargo area.
Jack slapped his ass really hard, making Ianto yelp like a puppy. “Get off!” Jack may have been speaking to Ianto’s trousers. Ianto unfastened his pants and Jack jerked them down to his knees, burying his face in Ianto’s ass. The feeling unhinged him and all he could do was gasp and laugh like a madman. He squirmed, but he didn’t know if he was trying to get away from it or fuck Jack’s face.
Ianto knew how much Jack loved sticking his tongue up his ass. He could hear him whispering under his breath. He couldn’t understand the words, but it didn’t matter. Jack stretched him wide, sliding his fingers in and out and practically gnawing on Ianto’s taint. He wanted to climb over the backseat just to get away from it. Only he didn’t want to get away from it, he wanted more. Just then Jack pulled away and bit Ianto’s ass. Hard. Ianto yelped again. Jack slapped his cock against Ianto’s asshole as if to say, “Ready or not, here I come!”
And come they did. Jack seized Ianto’s hips and rode him so hard that Ianto had to brace his hands in order to keep from getting fucked right into the cargo hold. His shot his load all over himself and the upholstery, never once worrying about stains. How could he think about cumstains when he could feel Jack's greatcoat rubbing against the backs of his legs.
Ianto pushed his ass back against Jack, trying to slow him down. Jack was frantic when he did that, slamming against him. “Come on!” Jack’s voice was low and urgent. Ianto leaned up a little, allowing Jack to reset the pace. That was all it took. Jack squeezed Ianto’s hips, pushing them down just a bit so that he could use him that much harder. Ianto loved it when Jack held him like that. At those times he felt like he was the only thing on Earth that could keep Captain Jack from floating off into the stars.
Jack rocked back, half wedging himself between the front seats. Ianto shifted about for a minute, trying to figure out how to sit down without adding to the rapidly spreading wet spots on the upholstery. Finally he just sat down. The SUV would have to be detailed within an inch of its life anyway, what was one more smear.
They sat and looked at each other for a while, indolent and content. They had been doing this for so long that it was no longer a novelty. Ianto was able to look at Jack’s body without a hint of embarrassment. It was beautiful, Jack would always be beautiful, but Ianto was no longer shy. In fact, Ianto’s need to tend to Jack had grown past the office and became quite personal. Jack’s eyebrows had a tendency to grow wild if left unchecked. At least once a week Jack was subjected to the attention of Ianto’s tweezers. It wasn’t all one-sided though. Jack looked after Ianto as well. Every few days Ianto would call Jack into the shower to shave the stray hairs that grew on the back of his neck. This delicate act either ended with a quick, hot pull or the promise of something obscene later on. All in all, it was an excellent arrangement.
Jack’s face broke into a magnificent smile. Ianto fell over onto the seat, his trousers still around his thighs. “That was amazing,” he said. “So much better than Sarah Williams. She was vicious with her teeth and never used her hands.” This made Jack laugh like a crazy man, which, in turn, set Ianto off. They giggled together, breathless and boneless.
After a bit they pulled themselves together and drove back to the Hub. By that point, all Ianto could think about was brushing his teeth. If he could do that, he would gladly sleep in his damp clothes. He fumbled around in his pocket for his car keys, praying to some astral god that he would be able to make it to bed in one piece.
Jack walked around the SUV and started walking toward the entrance to the Hub. When he realized Ianto wasn’t following him, he stopped. “Aren’t you coming home?”
Ianto closed his eyes, not knowing if he could laugh or cry. In the end, in Jack’s hard, awkward bed, he did both.