Light the Darkness
Title: Light the Darkness
Author: doditu
Editor:
mustachio_0. A big big thanks to Chani for making my broken English sounds better and my grammar easier for swallowing.
Rating: G
Spoilers: It isn't spoiler, but mentions Emily and William’s arcs.
Summary: Takes place near the end of IWTB. Scully centric.
Disclaimer: I don’t own tXF but CC owns my head.
Author's Note: Maybe Mulder is right.. Maybe dreams are answers to questions we haven’t yet figured out how to ask. How a nightmare can be healing, making you show all hidden emotions..
Let’s say I just want to believe.
The dark consumes my light, reversing all my life.
Everything vanishes in front of my sight,
Making me cry, bleed and grieve.
I’m dying, breathing and screaming,
Drowning, wishing and dreaming.
And after all, I just believe.
Scully was falling into nothingness, feeling the emptiness and continued to fall rapidly, without seeing the bottom. Seems like, she was flying into her soul but did not want to believe that everything was so dark. Seeking support, seeking something that can be her mainstay, she was alone and falling. Into the dark.
And as it started, everything stopped and as the fall seemed forever, everything went for seconds. Her body touched a cold fringe. Was it ground or flat floor, she did not even thought about it. She had frozen on the frigid surface. Only her eyes were frantically looking for an escape and her heart was seeking rest. She was hearing only her pulse, like every bits of life was trying to get out of her body and get back, to get up, away from the darkness.
As she tried to break the darkness with her bright eyes she could see nothing, did not feel anything, nothing but the irregular rhythm of her soul seeking salvation.
She focused; there was no place for panic. Everything made sense, everything has logic, and she just had to find it.
Scully stood up and like a blind man began to fondle the air around her, she felt nothing. Angry of the weakness which again was pressing her to the surface, she started waving her hands chaotic, trying to grasp the reality hidden in this madness.
What the hell was happening? Her fatigue seemed to play with her, her powers weren’t enough for all this insanity and she had no memory of how she got here.
The woman took several steps forward before falling back to earth again. No result.
Then the desperation began to suffocate her and Scully felt like that she was drowning in her own fear. She let all the feelings to flow like tears. Hot tears, tracing their way to the cold surface, drew their way on her face, burning her hopes.
She didn’t dare to move, to breathe, just stood with eyes wide open. The fear and the despair kept her pressed closer to the ground. She had no strength to think what would happen, if we never see the light again. She had forces only to hope. With the last drops of energy she has she knelt, braids fingers and turned all her hope to her faith. The desire to believe that there was an exit, that she’ll find help, poured in her body entirely and caused thrills that diverted the intolerable burden of the darkness. Her eyes slowly closed and her braided hands consolidated their stranglehold like trying to retain the particle of hope that has born in her mind.
So, with closed eyes and open heart, Dana began to see it. The light was everywhere. The light was hugging her, soothing her and giving her force. And with it came the sounds, which shifted the deafening silence. She heard Emily’s smile, heard William crying and seeking for his mother, she even heard Mulder’s quiet steps approaching him near her. And despite all the sadness that was experienced and all the sufferings passed over the years, the loss of her children, the loss of him, the loss of all, the sounds took her to place where she felt secure. The light was her shelter, her home and wherever she had fallen, Scully was no longer afraid because she knew that she has support, there was sense to fight, significance to believe.
And again she stared crying, but from the hot tears there was no sign. She was crying because all the feelings that were hid during the years, for anything that was not spoken, cried because she knew that she loved with all her heart, she was crying for herself.
Suddenly everything disappeared, just evaporated. The light scattered, as if someone had put out the candle, only the smell of smoke stayed in the air. Scully was all alone again, but this time she was determined to fight. She stood up again, but this time did not felt small and defenseless. Her faith was her light, protecting her from everything that the darkness took away from her. And she ran. Ran like she could fall into Mulder’s warm arms at lest for a second. She ran as if there would be no second chance to escape. She ran forward, cutting the air with determination.
And yet again she met cold, smooth surface, but this time was sure what her fingers were touching. Scully was on the floor beside her bed. The cold ground was steeling from her body warmth, and she hurried to stand up and rub her sleepy eyes. The woman looked around. The sun barely filtered through the window, the day was just beginning. Only Mulder’s snoring was filling the room. She was safe. She was home.
So it was only a dream? Simple coincidence. But there was nothing accidental in this life and she knew it…