(no subject)
I'm writing this here for the world to see because I feel like I have no one to discuss this with. I don't even really care at this point.
She was there all semester and all summer. What the fuck was preventing me from making a move until the other night? The whole thing is so absurd and cruel that its almost comical. The only consolation I can find is the fact that I was able to race up the weekend she left and gain an understanding of what could have been even if only for a few hours. Now she's in Louisiana, unattainable and probably as confused and disturbed as I am by the way we interacted on Saturday.
It's one thing if you make such a powerful connection with someone you won't get to see for a few months, but Sarah is going back to Louisiana for good. How did I let this happen? How did I let myself fall for someone I can't have? This is why I avoided this business all year because I knew I wouldn't have the constitution to face the reality of her leaving. She's actually gone, and I can't believe it.
I've fallen so fast and so hard that now that I'm out of that parallel universe I don't know what to do with myself. Do I distract myself with alcohol? Do I believe the worst and force myself to move on? Do I dismiss my emotions as a bad case of punch-drunk love?
Or do I wait until she comes to visit Charleston in a month and discuss the matter with her then? Is she even thinking the same way as me?
This is getting old. Really, really. . .really old. Its cruel that I only get to be in love for only one night.
Goodnight, Sarah. Please call me if you get a chance.
Oh hell, like she reads this.
She was there all semester and all summer. What the fuck was preventing me from making a move until the other night? The whole thing is so absurd and cruel that its almost comical. The only consolation I can find is the fact that I was able to race up the weekend she left and gain an understanding of what could have been even if only for a few hours. Now she's in Louisiana, unattainable and probably as confused and disturbed as I am by the way we interacted on Saturday.
It's one thing if you make such a powerful connection with someone you won't get to see for a few months, but Sarah is going back to Louisiana for good. How did I let this happen? How did I let myself fall for someone I can't have? This is why I avoided this business all year because I knew I wouldn't have the constitution to face the reality of her leaving. She's actually gone, and I can't believe it.
I've fallen so fast and so hard that now that I'm out of that parallel universe I don't know what to do with myself. Do I distract myself with alcohol? Do I believe the worst and force myself to move on? Do I dismiss my emotions as a bad case of punch-drunk love?
Or do I wait until she comes to visit Charleston in a month and discuss the matter with her then? Is she even thinking the same way as me?
This is getting old. Really, really. . .really old. Its cruel that I only get to be in love for only one night.
Goodnight, Sarah. Please call me if you get a chance.
Oh hell, like she reads this.