Thanks! I love the idea Dean is deeply distressed to have another's life taken to save his, but that John wouldn't hesitate on this for a heartbeat if it was Dean's life on the line. The difference between two men who are otherwise very much alike. And the difference between a man considering his own life and a father considering the life of his son.
The first SPN fic I ever wrote (never posted it ... went too angsty for Dean so I pitched it in the end) was a Faith aftermath piece about John going nuclear on Dean for going gently into that good night for the Reaper instead of rage, raging against the dying of the light. And how, without any witness to the event, saw this as the source to Dean's self-destructive behavior in the aftermath ... him feeling like he had Layla's rightful life AND that he'd let his father and Sam down by being willing to let the Reaper take him to balance the scales.
Kind of a suicide survivor's guilt thing, which is a concept I still find interesting, but have never figured out how to do without going angst monkey on Dean, which isn't a suit I like him to wear without proper snark, and the snark evades me on this subject.
I am, however, about 2/3 of the way through a much longer story that is pretty much encapsulated by this drabble. Is too funny that I've written for some time on that piece, but could actually distil the whole essence of it in a dialog-only drabble. I guess that means it really IS about the journey ... or I'm just wordy beyond words. :D
The first SPN fic I ever wrote (never posted it ... went too angsty for Dean so I pitched it in the end) was a Faith aftermath piece about John going nuclear on Dean for going gently into that good night for the Reaper instead of rage, raging against the dying of the light. And how, without any witness to the event, saw this as the source to Dean's self-destructive behavior in the aftermath ... him feeling like he had Layla's rightful life AND that he'd let his father and Sam down by being willing to let the Reaper take him to balance the scales.
Kind of a suicide survivor's guilt thing, which is a concept I still find interesting, but have never figured out how to do without going angst monkey on Dean, which isn't a suit I like him to wear without proper snark, and the snark evades me on this subject.
I am, however, about 2/3 of the way through a much longer story that is pretty much encapsulated by this drabble. Is too funny that I've written for some time on that piece, but could actually distil the whole essence of it in a dialog-only drabble. I guess that means it really IS about the journey ... or I'm just wordy beyond words. :D
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