Monogamous Dreamer. Except For Steve, He Doesn't Count.
I keep having dreams about Christian Kane. I mean, I like the guy, yeah, sure. But where are my dreams about Jeffrey Dean Morgan every once in awhile? I know recently it has been because I watch an ep of Leverage right before bed every night, but I also keep dreaming about Steve Carlson too and I am not watching him on TV right before so Idek. Maybe I just associate Christian and Steve as joined-at-the-hip, so if I am thinking about one, the other works his way into my dream. Actually a few weeks ago I dreamed I was making out with Steve, but I was sitting on a big bed in between Christian and Steve. While Steve and I were making out, Christian sat there and like, text messaged on his phone or played Angry Birds or whatever. I woke up and decided to go with the theory that I was going to have a threesome if I had just stayed asleep for longer.
Anyways, last night I started out dreaming that I was renting a large room in Christian’s Mama’s house. (Yep, we both referred to her as ’Mama’ in the dream). Christian was like my BFF so I invited him over for dinner and he brought not one, but three skanky groupies to dinner. To which I, of course, was like, “I invite you over and you bring your fucking skanks with you!” I am amused at how I kept obsessing about their skank clothes because let’s face it, I would totally wear clothes just like that. Anyways, halfway through dinner I got up and ran into the bathroom, slammed the door and started throwing up. One of the groupies said, in a total valley-girl voice, “Omg, is she pregnant?” Christian jumps up from the table and starts pounding on the door, yelling at me to open up. I am all, “I am busy in here,” and continued vomiting. So he busts in the bathroom and starts yelling at me, “Are you pregnant?! How are you pregnant?! Why didn’t I know you were pregnant?!”
Then the dream switched up and we were at some park event with his whole family. I had twin newborn boys in a stroller - clearly I had been pregnant. Somehow I knew they weren’t Christian’s but that he had been helping me raise them. I told the group to go on ahead, that me and the babies would catch up. They do and then I start writing Christian this note about how I have to leave him, have to go be with the baby-daddy, even though somehow I knew he was a bad man. One of Chris’ nieces comes back while I am writing this, sees it and starts shouting for Christian. That thing happened where a part of the dream reruns over and over and I kept trying to change it, but he always caught me. We had this screaming fight where he declared those were his kids goddammit, no matter blood, and he loved me for fuck’s sake and I wasn’t bailing on him! I couldn’t tell him that the baby-daddy had threatened him, threatened to take the kids away with all his money and power - I was worried Christian would kill the man. I started crying in my dream and then I woke up.
Then I went back to sleep and dreamed I was being held in some sort of medical testing facility with my little brother and a friend of ours. We were trying to escape and it was all very exciting - (and a little weird since at first we were trying to get away in a motorized bed that drove like a car, idek) - and then we find all these other people being held there and we try to help them. We all get into an elevator and I look around and see Danny Taylor from Without A Trace. I am all, “Omg, Danny Taylor! You’re here!” and he is all, “You knew I would come rescue you, right? I’d never leave you here, babe.” And then I saw Billy Boyd in the elevator too, only he was wearing the uniform of the facility, so I knew he worked there. I said, “Billy Boyd! What are you doing here?” and he said, “What do you think?” I answered, “They killed Dominic Monaghan. (Why I kept using everyone’s last names, idk). Oh no, they killed Dom!” Billy looked so sad , you guys. I guess he decided to turn against the facility people after they killed Dom. Casey Connor from The Faculty was there only he was like 14. He was totally skinny, pale and sick looking and his hair was sticking up all over and I knew they had done bad experiments on him in that place. (I blame Birthright for this version of Casey in my head).
Then Eliot Spencer was there too and when we got out of the elevator into a parking garage, all these guys with automatic weapons showed up. They were gonna kill us all and Eliot looked at me and then he looked at Danny Taylor. They nodded at each other and I knew they were going to fight off these guys to save everyone and get killed in the process. Then for some reason Eliot kissed me goodbye, you know, before he died.
(I am not objecting, I’m just saying, for once I would have liked to make-out with Danny Taylor, okay. How sad is it that I have gotten bored with making out with the same dream-person over and over?)
Eliot yelled for us to hit the ground and all the ‘civilians’ threw themselves on the floor and there was all this fighting and gunfire and Eliot’s hair flying everywhere, as it does. After that we started walking. We walked through the night and day and night again, across the grass and pavement and hiding in sheds and holes. We were all tired and didn’t have enough food and our feet hurt, but the bad people were still searching for us, so we had to go on. Danny was there and Casey, my brother and our friend, but I never saw Eliot or Billy again. I guess they died. Anyways, we were hiding in someone’s backyard in a tool shed, all crammed in with like a dozen people all sweaty and tired when I woke up.
My brain, ladies and gentlemen. I kind of love it.
Anyways, last night I started out dreaming that I was renting a large room in Christian’s Mama’s house. (Yep, we both referred to her as ’Mama’ in the dream). Christian was like my BFF so I invited him over for dinner and he brought not one, but three skanky groupies to dinner. To which I, of course, was like, “I invite you over and you bring your fucking skanks with you!” I am amused at how I kept obsessing about their skank clothes because let’s face it, I would totally wear clothes just like that. Anyways, halfway through dinner I got up and ran into the bathroom, slammed the door and started throwing up. One of the groupies said, in a total valley-girl voice, “Omg, is she pregnant?” Christian jumps up from the table and starts pounding on the door, yelling at me to open up. I am all, “I am busy in here,” and continued vomiting. So he busts in the bathroom and starts yelling at me, “Are you pregnant?! How are you pregnant?! Why didn’t I know you were pregnant?!”
Then the dream switched up and we were at some park event with his whole family. I had twin newborn boys in a stroller - clearly I had been pregnant. Somehow I knew they weren’t Christian’s but that he had been helping me raise them. I told the group to go on ahead, that me and the babies would catch up. They do and then I start writing Christian this note about how I have to leave him, have to go be with the baby-daddy, even though somehow I knew he was a bad man. One of Chris’ nieces comes back while I am writing this, sees it and starts shouting for Christian. That thing happened where a part of the dream reruns over and over and I kept trying to change it, but he always caught me. We had this screaming fight where he declared those were his kids goddammit, no matter blood, and he loved me for fuck’s sake and I wasn’t bailing on him! I couldn’t tell him that the baby-daddy had threatened him, threatened to take the kids away with all his money and power - I was worried Christian would kill the man. I started crying in my dream and then I woke up.
Then I went back to sleep and dreamed I was being held in some sort of medical testing facility with my little brother and a friend of ours. We were trying to escape and it was all very exciting - (and a little weird since at first we were trying to get away in a motorized bed that drove like a car, idek) - and then we find all these other people being held there and we try to help them. We all get into an elevator and I look around and see Danny Taylor from Without A Trace. I am all, “Omg, Danny Taylor! You’re here!” and he is all, “You knew I would come rescue you, right? I’d never leave you here, babe.” And then I saw Billy Boyd in the elevator too, only he was wearing the uniform of the facility, so I knew he worked there. I said, “Billy Boyd! What are you doing here?” and he said, “What do you think?” I answered, “They killed Dominic Monaghan. (Why I kept using everyone’s last names, idk). Oh no, they killed Dom!” Billy looked so sad , you guys. I guess he decided to turn against the facility people after they killed Dom. Casey Connor from The Faculty was there only he was like 14. He was totally skinny, pale and sick looking and his hair was sticking up all over and I knew they had done bad experiments on him in that place. (I blame Birthright for this version of Casey in my head).
Then Eliot Spencer was there too and when we got out of the elevator into a parking garage, all these guys with automatic weapons showed up. They were gonna kill us all and Eliot looked at me and then he looked at Danny Taylor. They nodded at each other and I knew they were going to fight off these guys to save everyone and get killed in the process. Then for some reason Eliot kissed me goodbye, you know, before he died.
(I am not objecting, I’m just saying, for once I would have liked to make-out with Danny Taylor, okay. How sad is it that I have gotten bored with making out with the same dream-person over and over?)
Eliot yelled for us to hit the ground and all the ‘civilians’ threw themselves on the floor and there was all this fighting and gunfire and Eliot’s hair flying everywhere, as it does. After that we started walking. We walked through the night and day and night again, across the grass and pavement and hiding in sheds and holes. We were all tired and didn’t have enough food and our feet hurt, but the bad people were still searching for us, so we had to go on. Danny was there and Casey, my brother and our friend, but I never saw Eliot or Billy again. I guess they died. Anyways, we were hiding in someone’s backyard in a tool shed, all crammed in with like a dozen people all sweaty and tired when I woke up.
My brain, ladies and gentlemen. I kind of love it.