Comments | dodger_sister: What Did I Ever Do To The Gods?

dodger_sister

What Did I Ever Do To The Gods?

Nov 13, 2014 23:38

I shouldn't post when I am having a panic-crisis, but I need to do something to get it out. I just found out that my dad has started physical therapy...at my clinic. I can't breathe. I love my dad, I do, but he weighs 500 pounds and is dirty and smelly and has sores all over him and I can't...I don't want these people to associate how he lives ( Read more... )

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Comments 17

lindahoyland November 14 2014, 05:09:49 UTC

Big hugs.

dodger_sister November 18 2014, 22:28:01 UTC

Thank you, darling. /hugs back/

elfscribe5 November 14 2014, 07:11:47 UTC

Keep calm and carry on. It may not be as bad as you fear. At least he's charming to people. If people say they met him, you can just nod and say, yes, he can be charming. It's difficult when family members are embarrassing to us because it seems like they are an extension of ourselves, but they're not you. Hugs.

dodger_sister November 18 2014, 22:31:18 UTC

Thank you. <3 This comment was actually helpful as it reassured me that I wasn't being a complete neurotic freak about this whole thing. /sigh/ I just honestly can't stand the thought of these people I like - the staff at PT - being charmed and deceived by my father. It's been years since I've had to listen to people telling me how great my dad is and I am so out of practice on how to deal with it. But I have to go back to PT eventually, I suppose.

elfscribe5 November 18 2014, 23:30:24 UTC

Nope, I don't think you're being neurotic. It can be very unnerving when a close family member sort of muscles in on your territory, especially if you've had issues with that person. Hang in there.

ceitfianna November 14 2014, 07:28:15 UTC

*Hugs you really, really tight* Safe spaces count a lot.

dodger_sister November 18 2014, 22:32:48 UTC

Safe spaces count a lot.

Yes, so much. And they are especially hard for me to find with medical type places because of all the bullshit I have to put up with with my body. This was one place that I was safe and now I am not and it is rattling.

/hugs back/ <3

vikingprincess November 14 2014, 12:29:24 UTC

Oh, honey! This really sucks!

Can you get K to help you out my making sure you and your Dad are NEVER there on the same day, the same shift? Can you ask him to again make sure that everyone knows NO ONE is to mention you to your Dad, or your Dad to you? I bet K would be more than willing to help bubble you away from anything related to your dad at your clinic.

And, it's morbidly cheering at best, I know, and feel free to scream at me if this doesn't work for you, but I'm trying, here:

They say Charles Manson was very charming, too.

dodger_sister November 18 2014, 22:39:38 UTC

Can you get K to help you out my making sure you and your Dad are NEVER there on the same day, the same shift?

He offered to do this actually, double check our schedules. He is kind of limited on what he can and cannot do/say because of his profession now intersecting with my private life. Like, I texted him to ask if he could check for my dad in the system, just to be sure that my dad was right about what clinic he was at, and told K the details my dad had given me thus far. He texted back, "I cannot give specifics, but I can verify that the information you have received so far is correct." Like he has to be careful about confidentiality and all that. Which is another suckfest because K and I have never been careful about what we say to each other, we can always say anything. And now he has to think before he speaks, like, "Oh, is this about her dad? I better think about what I'm saying," instead of just us being able to talk openly about my family issues. It pisses me off so much.

They say Charles Manson was very charming ( ... )

vikingprincess November 18 2014, 23:43:19 UTC

Argh, how awful that the mere fact your dad is at the same clinic is limiting what you can say with K! That sucks ass, babe.

Euw, I know! She's too stupid to live --and she just may not. How is that some real jerks can sometimes be so charming, too? It seems like a major fuckup in Nature.

dugindeep November 14 2014, 19:27:10 UTC

Oh, dear, I can see how this is a hard thing to internalize. I really do hope something works out okay here and that your counselor can help with some insight on how to deal with it.

The upside, hopefully, would be that you wouldn't have appointments scheduled at the same time, right? So at least you don't have to run into him and witness that behavior?

dodger_sister November 18 2014, 22:42:58 UTC

The upside, hopefully, would be that you wouldn't have appointments scheduled at the same time, right? So at least you don't have to run into him and witness that behavior?

This is true. And K has offered to make sure I am never schedules at the same time as Dad, but still, I have managed for so long now to keep him in the one area of my life and I am so out of practice with dealing with him right there in the center of my life and I just don't know if I can handle going back. I guess I don't have much of a choice though. I see my counselor tomorrow to make a game plan - so moving forward. <3