In Which I Dream In TV Episodes.
Being sick has sparked a lot of hospital nightmares. As I sleep, I can tell how sick I feel and that sparks medical thoughts in my brain or something. I keep dreaming about having heart-attacks, because the albuterol is making my heart race. And one night I dreamed that K died of a heart-attack, but before that we had hooked up, and I woke up unsure which of those two things was more disturbing. So any dreams I have these days that aren’t nightmares should be celebrated.
I had this Community dream that was basically like an episode playing out in my brain. Troy was dating a librarian chick and Abed was being very stand-offish towards her and Troy got mad about it and was like, “She’s my girlfriend and you’re my best friend and you should get along.” So he made Abed and Librarian spend a whole day together so they could get to know each other. But the real reason Abed was avoiding her was because he was in love with her. He told Shirley, who was all, “Oh, Abed, honey, no,” and Abed was like, “I know. She’s Troy’s girlfriend. She doesn’t like me like that anyway.” But then Troy found out and he was like, “I’m sorry, buddy. Should I break up with her?” Abed was all, “No, no. I’ll get over it.” And then Troy said, “So what do we do now?” There was this long pause and then Troy went, “Wacky caper?” and Abed goes, “Wacky caper,” and then they hand-fist-slapped. Which, this is just basically two episodes of Friends smooshed together, in which Joey hates Chandler’s girlfriend so Chandler makes them spend the whole day together and another in which Chandler is being a dick to Joey’s girlfriend but it turns out it’s because he is in love with her - (said girlfriend was played by Paget Brewster, for the people playing along at home). Also, in the background of the dream, Pierce had invented something and he kept randomly going up to people and doing an infomercial spiel at them, trying to get investors, and randomly Jeff would just yell at Pierce, “Not gonna happen, Pierce!” Yeah, my dream had a B Plot.
My other dream was an OZ dream, in which I was Alvarez’s girlfriend and we had special visits, where they would turn the visitation room into an Italian restaurant for all the visitors and you could have a whole date night followed by sexy times - (though that never actually happened in the dream). I had a few nice dates with him and then I showed up for one and he had sent O’Reily instead. And I was like, “Okay, we can have a nice dinner, but that’s all your getting from me. And then you can tell Alvarez that if he thinks he’s pulling some bullshit where he spares me because I deserve better, that he can go fuck himself. He’s not getting rid of me that easily.” I did end up having a nice dinner with O’Reily, but I was very nervous ‘watching’ my own dream that I might cheat on Alvarez. Anyways, then the dream leapt forward three years somehow and I hadn’t seen Alvarez all that time because he was being all, “No, you should go have a nice life,” and I showed up at the prison on his release day and there were all these people waiting outside because it was some kind of mass-release thing and I was like,. “Well, he won’t expect me to be here. He probably thinks I went off and got married and made babies or some bullshit. But now finally we can see each other again.” And then the over-head light came on signaling the doors were opening and I was so, so happy that I was about to see him again.
And then I woke up. My fucking brain. I also spent the entire dream repeating a mantra in my head that his name is ‘Alvarez’, not ‘Kirk Acevedo’ and not ‘Joe Toye.’ I had to keep reminding myself because it’s been years since that actor was solely ‘Alvarez’ to me. (Used to drive my friends nuts when we discovered Band of Brothers because it took me months to refer to him as Joe Toye when talking about him and they were like, “His name isn’t Alvarez!” and I was all, “He will always be Alvarez to me!”)
Anyways, those were my dreams. Someday I should tell you all about the one where Stiles and I got together with the help of a serial killer.
I had this Community dream that was basically like an episode playing out in my brain. Troy was dating a librarian chick and Abed was being very stand-offish towards her and Troy got mad about it and was like, “She’s my girlfriend and you’re my best friend and you should get along.” So he made Abed and Librarian spend a whole day together so they could get to know each other. But the real reason Abed was avoiding her was because he was in love with her. He told Shirley, who was all, “Oh, Abed, honey, no,” and Abed was like, “I know. She’s Troy’s girlfriend. She doesn’t like me like that anyway.” But then Troy found out and he was like, “I’m sorry, buddy. Should I break up with her?” Abed was all, “No, no. I’ll get over it.” And then Troy said, “So what do we do now?” There was this long pause and then Troy went, “Wacky caper?” and Abed goes, “Wacky caper,” and then they hand-fist-slapped. Which, this is just basically two episodes of Friends smooshed together, in which Joey hates Chandler’s girlfriend so Chandler makes them spend the whole day together and another in which Chandler is being a dick to Joey’s girlfriend but it turns out it’s because he is in love with her - (said girlfriend was played by Paget Brewster, for the people playing along at home). Also, in the background of the dream, Pierce had invented something and he kept randomly going up to people and doing an infomercial spiel at them, trying to get investors, and randomly Jeff would just yell at Pierce, “Not gonna happen, Pierce!” Yeah, my dream had a B Plot.
My other dream was an OZ dream, in which I was Alvarez’s girlfriend and we had special visits, where they would turn the visitation room into an Italian restaurant for all the visitors and you could have a whole date night followed by sexy times - (though that never actually happened in the dream). I had a few nice dates with him and then I showed up for one and he had sent O’Reily instead. And I was like, “Okay, we can have a nice dinner, but that’s all your getting from me. And then you can tell Alvarez that if he thinks he’s pulling some bullshit where he spares me because I deserve better, that he can go fuck himself. He’s not getting rid of me that easily.” I did end up having a nice dinner with O’Reily, but I was very nervous ‘watching’ my own dream that I might cheat on Alvarez. Anyways, then the dream leapt forward three years somehow and I hadn’t seen Alvarez all that time because he was being all, “No, you should go have a nice life,” and I showed up at the prison on his release day and there were all these people waiting outside because it was some kind of mass-release thing and I was like,. “Well, he won’t expect me to be here. He probably thinks I went off and got married and made babies or some bullshit. But now finally we can see each other again.” And then the over-head light came on signaling the doors were opening and I was so, so happy that I was about to see him again.
And then I woke up. My fucking brain. I also spent the entire dream repeating a mantra in my head that his name is ‘Alvarez’, not ‘Kirk Acevedo’ and not ‘Joe Toye.’ I had to keep reminding myself because it’s been years since that actor was solely ‘Alvarez’ to me. (Used to drive my friends nuts when we discovered Band of Brothers because it took me months to refer to him as Joe Toye when talking about him and they were like, “His name isn’t Alvarez!” and I was all, “He will always be Alvarez to me!”)
Anyways, those were my dreams. Someday I should tell you all about the one where Stiles and I got together with the help of a serial killer.