What They Didn't Tell You About Breastfeeding (from PMN)
It's almost a cliché to say that breast is best. The nutrients in breastmilk are more easily absorbed by the body than formula. It contains disease-fighting antibodies; reduces the risk of the child developing asthma and allergies, ear infections, and reactions to vaccinations; and it even benefits the mother's post-partum emotional health and reduces her risk of getting several types of cancer.
The question is, if everybody knows all this, why are Pinays not breastfeeding enough?
One factor is aggressive formula marketing in the Philippines, but we can’t put all the blame on pharmaceutical companies. My belief is that mothers have the best of intentions and try their very best to breastfeed their newborns, but do not know that it is challenging and difficult, and thus get discouraged when they encounter problems. Lectures and pamphlets focus too much on the benefits of breastfeeding, the bond formed between mother and child, etc. in order to inspire pregnant women and new mothers. That's all well and good, but I'm afraid they paint such a rosy picture of breastfeeding that mothers think pain and milk supply issues are not normal and conclude that "I was not meant to breastfeed". So in this article I will focus not on the "good" of breastfeeding, but on "the bad and the ugly". Prepare yourself, because it’s not going to be pretty.
#1. Breastfeeding looks like the most natural thing in the world but it sure doesn't feel like it. Oh, maybe it will in the delivery room, just after the baby pops out of you and you're as high as a kite (on hormones, or the epidural, who knows?) and your brand-new little infant nurses for a minute or two then goes to sleep. But there's a lot more to it than putting the baby to the breast. Engorgement is a four letter word - it hurts to raise your arm, or to sleep on your side - and the only thing that will get rid of the engorgement is to let your baby nurse as frequently as he wants, which is agonizingly painful at first. When your little angel latches on like a ravenous piranha, you will stamp your feet and stifle a scream, and curse all those books that describe breastfeeding as the most wonderful feeling in the world, because how can it be possible to find pleasure in the midst of all this unholy pain? Even after you and baby seem to have perfected the latching-on process, breastfeeding could still hurt because your nipples simply aren't used to this yet; but trust me, keep working on improving the latch and find out what works for you and your baby, and the pain will gradually disappear.
My tip: the internet was my savior during the first difficult months (yes, that's plural) of breastfeeding. Clogged ducts? Milk blisters? Mastitis? I found it all on some helpful sites, and was reassured that these were normal and not a reason to give up breastfeeding (see Resources below). You can also hire a lactation consultant for one-on-one help. Your doctor should be able to recommend one, or for moms based in the US, go to the La Leche League website to find a consultant in your area; for moms in the Philippines, there’s the Perfect Latch website.
#2. Nursing is not just feeding; it's also the reassuring warmth and unique scent of Mom that babies love so much. That's good, right? Yes, if you enjoy having a baby attached to you 12 hours a day, or more! My daughter loved breastfeeding so much that she could do it for an hour or longer. The worst time was when she was 6 weeks old and going through a growth spurt - it was nonstop feeding, especially in the late afternoon and early evening. Some "childcare professionals" (such as Gina Ford, Tracy Hogg, Gary Ezzo... if you read their books, I highly recommend you take their BF advice with a huge grain of salt) say that babies get all the nutrition they want in the first 15-20 minutes and after that are just sucking for comfort, and should be removed from the breast and given a pacifier. In fact, having my daughter nurse for so much of the day and night made me feel like a pacifier sometimes.
My tip: it's your choice if you want to restrict your baby's feeding, but keep in mind that demand builds supply, and the more your baby nurses in the first few weeks, the more your milk supply will grow. And remember that...
"You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount
#3. Well-meaning relatives will tell you that your milk is not enough because your baby always wants to nurse (see number 2). My mom in particular was eager to bathe, rock, and also feed her first grandchild. When my daughter would cry just 30 minutes after having nursed, she would say helpfully, "baka kulang ang gatas mo, bigyan ba natin ng formula?" ("Maybe your milk isn't enough, should we give her some formula?") I would reply that bottle-feeding too early could cause nipple confusion and that babies need to breastfeed often in order to build up the milk supply, and my husband backed me up. She was clearly dubious but fortunately, respected our decision. A few months later, she read my copy of The Baby Book and acknowledged that there was a lot she didn't know about breastfeeding. So Lola's experience may help a new mom cope with her infant's needs, but their generation didn't have the research and resources that we do regarding breastfeeding.
My tip: find tactful and respectful ways to turn down your mom or mom-in-law's offer to feed the baby formula. Promise that when breastfeeding is going well and you can introduce the bottle, you will let them have the honor of feeding the baby pumped milk or formula. In the meantime, research ways to increase your milk supply, and read this very inspiring story of a Filipino mom who had a breast surgically removed but was still able to produce enough milk from her remaining breast to nurse her daughter - and she's still breastfeeding now, 26 months later. Most importantly, enlist your husband’s support by having him read the links below… his belief that you are doing the right thing will give you the courage to stand up to your relatives ;)
Breastfeeding is not a walk in the park - and I haven’t even mentioned what will happen when your baby gets her first teeth and starts biting! But believe me when I say that the pain and discomfort are all worth it. If even one new mother comes across this article and it helps her find the confidence and determination to continue breastfeeding, I will be very happy indeed.
Recommended Breastfeeding Resources:
La Leche League
Kellymom
Dr. Jack Newman's breastfeeding videos
Ask Dr. Sears
Mom.exchange.ph (Filipino attachment parenting blog)
Pinoyexchange.com breastfeeding thread (Moms and the occasional dad answering BF questions since 2003)
The question is, if everybody knows all this, why are Pinays not breastfeeding enough?
One factor is aggressive formula marketing in the Philippines, but we can’t put all the blame on pharmaceutical companies. My belief is that mothers have the best of intentions and try their very best to breastfeed their newborns, but do not know that it is challenging and difficult, and thus get discouraged when they encounter problems. Lectures and pamphlets focus too much on the benefits of breastfeeding, the bond formed between mother and child, etc. in order to inspire pregnant women and new mothers. That's all well and good, but I'm afraid they paint such a rosy picture of breastfeeding that mothers think pain and milk supply issues are not normal and conclude that "I was not meant to breastfeed". So in this article I will focus not on the "good" of breastfeeding, but on "the bad and the ugly". Prepare yourself, because it’s not going to be pretty.
#1. Breastfeeding looks like the most natural thing in the world but it sure doesn't feel like it. Oh, maybe it will in the delivery room, just after the baby pops out of you and you're as high as a kite (on hormones, or the epidural, who knows?) and your brand-new little infant nurses for a minute or two then goes to sleep. But there's a lot more to it than putting the baby to the breast. Engorgement is a four letter word - it hurts to raise your arm, or to sleep on your side - and the only thing that will get rid of the engorgement is to let your baby nurse as frequently as he wants, which is agonizingly painful at first. When your little angel latches on like a ravenous piranha, you will stamp your feet and stifle a scream, and curse all those books that describe breastfeeding as the most wonderful feeling in the world, because how can it be possible to find pleasure in the midst of all this unholy pain? Even after you and baby seem to have perfected the latching-on process, breastfeeding could still hurt because your nipples simply aren't used to this yet; but trust me, keep working on improving the latch and find out what works for you and your baby, and the pain will gradually disappear.
My tip: the internet was my savior during the first difficult months (yes, that's plural) of breastfeeding. Clogged ducts? Milk blisters? Mastitis? I found it all on some helpful sites, and was reassured that these were normal and not a reason to give up breastfeeding (see Resources below). You can also hire a lactation consultant for one-on-one help. Your doctor should be able to recommend one, or for moms based in the US, go to the La Leche League website to find a consultant in your area; for moms in the Philippines, there’s the Perfect Latch website.
#2. Nursing is not just feeding; it's also the reassuring warmth and unique scent of Mom that babies love so much. That's good, right? Yes, if you enjoy having a baby attached to you 12 hours a day, or more! My daughter loved breastfeeding so much that she could do it for an hour or longer. The worst time was when she was 6 weeks old and going through a growth spurt - it was nonstop feeding, especially in the late afternoon and early evening. Some "childcare professionals" (such as Gina Ford, Tracy Hogg, Gary Ezzo... if you read their books, I highly recommend you take their BF advice with a huge grain of salt) say that babies get all the nutrition they want in the first 15-20 minutes and after that are just sucking for comfort, and should be removed from the breast and given a pacifier. In fact, having my daughter nurse for so much of the day and night made me feel like a pacifier sometimes.
My tip: it's your choice if you want to restrict your baby's feeding, but keep in mind that demand builds supply, and the more your baby nurses in the first few weeks, the more your milk supply will grow. And remember that...
"You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount
#3. Well-meaning relatives will tell you that your milk is not enough because your baby always wants to nurse (see number 2). My mom in particular was eager to bathe, rock, and also feed her first grandchild. When my daughter would cry just 30 minutes after having nursed, she would say helpfully, "baka kulang ang gatas mo, bigyan ba natin ng formula?" ("Maybe your milk isn't enough, should we give her some formula?") I would reply that bottle-feeding too early could cause nipple confusion and that babies need to breastfeed often in order to build up the milk supply, and my husband backed me up. She was clearly dubious but fortunately, respected our decision. A few months later, she read my copy of The Baby Book and acknowledged that there was a lot she didn't know about breastfeeding. So Lola's experience may help a new mom cope with her infant's needs, but their generation didn't have the research and resources that we do regarding breastfeeding.
My tip: find tactful and respectful ways to turn down your mom or mom-in-law's offer to feed the baby formula. Promise that when breastfeeding is going well and you can introduce the bottle, you will let them have the honor of feeding the baby pumped milk or formula. In the meantime, research ways to increase your milk supply, and read this very inspiring story of a Filipino mom who had a breast surgically removed but was still able to produce enough milk from her remaining breast to nurse her daughter - and she's still breastfeeding now, 26 months later. Most importantly, enlist your husband’s support by having him read the links below… his belief that you are doing the right thing will give you the courage to stand up to your relatives ;)
Breastfeeding is not a walk in the park - and I haven’t even mentioned what will happen when your baby gets her first teeth and starts biting! But believe me when I say that the pain and discomfort are all worth it. If even one new mother comes across this article and it helps her find the confidence and determination to continue breastfeeding, I will be very happy indeed.
Recommended Breastfeeding Resources:
La Leche League
Kellymom
Dr. Jack Newman's breastfeeding videos
Ask Dr. Sears
Mom.exchange.ph (Filipino attachment parenting blog)
Pinoyexchange.com breastfeeding thread (Moms and the occasional dad answering BF questions since 2003)