Wow...
So a couple months ago I wrote about how several people at different times have told me that I was intimidating and what not, but no one could explain to me why they thought so. A few days ago it came up again. I was talking to my ex and I was explaining to him that several people have told me in the past about how they think that I can be intimidating, and he was like "yeah, I can see how someone would think that"
And I was like "really, how?"
He begins to explain that he can see how others may feel that give off this aura where people may be scared of me, that I may not always be welcoming. While he is explaing thia to me, I am just trying to picture myself as I usually walk down the street, and I feel as though I am always walking with a smile.
But then the conversation starts to turn. He starts going into our past relationship and why he thinks that it didn't work out. He starts to say that he felt that didn't open up about myself enough and that he didn't sometimes that I really liked him. Now throughout our relationship, he would randomly ask me if I liked him or if I wanted to be with him. I always used to just brush off this nonsense, i mean, I didn't want to feed into any insecurities that he had. Anyways, he goes on to talk about how he felt that I kept things to myself and that he felt that I was a girl who had a lot of baggage. Excuse me? Now I know that I keep a lot of things to myself but I don't feel like I am one of those bag ladies, who has problems. And to put the icing on the cake, he suggested that I go to therapy. What? Of course he explains that he doesn't mean any of this to be negative, but I should should seek help. What got the wheels in my head turning was the fact that I had no idea what this had to do with people thinking that I was intimidating. I mean, I'm not offended at the fact that he made the suggestion, its just the way he did it. I understand that he is coming to me as a friend, but he totally flipped the switch on me. Gosh ...therapy, that's serious stuff. He must really feel I have a problem.To try to make things less awkward, he told me that he goes to seek counciling himself. Okay, but that doesn't make me feel better. And now that I am thinking back, I would never tell anyone that they needed therapy unless I truely felt that this person had some serious problems. Does he think I have serious problems? And I know that will not have a problem talking to him in the future, but in the back of my mind, I know that I will be thinking that he feels that I need therapy.
Way to make my day tony!
And I was like "really, how?"
He begins to explain that he can see how others may feel that give off this aura where people may be scared of me, that I may not always be welcoming. While he is explaing thia to me, I am just trying to picture myself as I usually walk down the street, and I feel as though I am always walking with a smile.
But then the conversation starts to turn. He starts going into our past relationship and why he thinks that it didn't work out. He starts to say that he felt that didn't open up about myself enough and that he didn't sometimes that I really liked him. Now throughout our relationship, he would randomly ask me if I liked him or if I wanted to be with him. I always used to just brush off this nonsense, i mean, I didn't want to feed into any insecurities that he had. Anyways, he goes on to talk about how he felt that I kept things to myself and that he felt that I was a girl who had a lot of baggage. Excuse me? Now I know that I keep a lot of things to myself but I don't feel like I am one of those bag ladies, who has problems. And to put the icing on the cake, he suggested that I go to therapy. What? Of course he explains that he doesn't mean any of this to be negative, but I should should seek help. What got the wheels in my head turning was the fact that I had no idea what this had to do with people thinking that I was intimidating. I mean, I'm not offended at the fact that he made the suggestion, its just the way he did it. I understand that he is coming to me as a friend, but he totally flipped the switch on me. Gosh ...therapy, that's serious stuff. He must really feel I have a problem.To try to make things less awkward, he told me that he goes to seek counciling himself. Okay, but that doesn't make me feel better. And now that I am thinking back, I would never tell anyone that they needed therapy unless I truely felt that this person had some serious problems. Does he think I have serious problems? And I know that will not have a problem talking to him in the future, but in the back of my mind, I know that I will be thinking that he feels that I need therapy.
Way to make my day tony!