The Color Complex
I think its amazing how people view themselves as well as others in the black community. When I was little, I never really had a problem with my skin tone because everyone in my family was pretty much the same color. I mean, there are a few who are fair, but they are rare. One of my favorite cousins, who happens to be one of the fair ones in the family, always stressed to my sister and I that we were beautiful, and that we should not let anyone tell us other wise. As we grew older, other cousins in my family stressed that we should not use phrases "good hair" or "pretty eyes" because why should non-black be considered "good" or "pretty".
College was when I really noticed that there was a dark/light skinned complex among the community. In highschool, there were few black people to begin with, so we all stuck together. But college was a whole new ball game. I immediately noticed that I was really noticed among certain groups and especially around guys. My roomate, who was fair skinned, was always the center of attention. Mind you, she is an attractive girl, but even still, it as like I wasn't even there sometimes. At some points, where it would be my roomates and myself having a conversation with someone, a person would be talking directly with them, not bothering to make any eye contact with me. Sometimes I would just walk away because it was just down right annoying!
Now that I am a little older, I don't care what people think. If I feel that someone is ignoring me or just being rude, I just turn away or go on about my day. I feel like I don't have time for that. What I have noticed, I guess here in Boston, is that people like to consider themself everything but dark skinned. What motivated to write this entry was that I was having a conversation with a friend, and we were discussing what type of people that we date, and he stated that he considers hisself to be "brown". Now in my head I was thinking, "What does that mean?" This guy is dark skinned, just like me. I don't have a problem being dark skinned and I consider myself to dark skinned. What was his problem. He asked what tone my ex ws and I told he was dark as well, and then he asked if I have ever dated someone who was "brown" like him. Now, at this point I wanted to laugh, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. In my head, I was thinking "N*gga Please! You're dark!" I just ended up making a face. I really did not know how to let him know that he should stop fooling himself. I remember one day I saw him on the train, and he told me that he was going to get some color contacts, and I thought to myself that this was a bad idea. But I let him go do what he had to do. Althought this was so funny to me, I feel like a lot of people out here feel the same way.
Now in being in Boston for almost a year now, there are so many different types of black people. There are Black Americans, Carribeans, Africans, and Cape Verdeans (who don't consider themselves to be black, but they are!) There are also a lot of Black Brazilians. Now, some people that I have talked to, who may be , let's say Haitian and Dominican, althought they may be dark, they will tell you that they're mixed... and brown skinned. Yeah right! Or better yeat, I was walking to somewhere and this lady told me that I had pretty eyes ("pretty"), but then asked me what was my mix. She really killed the complement, like I had to mixed with something to be considered pretty!
Just unacceptable!
College was when I really noticed that there was a dark/light skinned complex among the community. In highschool, there were few black people to begin with, so we all stuck together. But college was a whole new ball game. I immediately noticed that I was really noticed among certain groups and especially around guys. My roomate, who was fair skinned, was always the center of attention. Mind you, she is an attractive girl, but even still, it as like I wasn't even there sometimes. At some points, where it would be my roomates and myself having a conversation with someone, a person would be talking directly with them, not bothering to make any eye contact with me. Sometimes I would just walk away because it was just down right annoying!
Now that I am a little older, I don't care what people think. If I feel that someone is ignoring me or just being rude, I just turn away or go on about my day. I feel like I don't have time for that. What I have noticed, I guess here in Boston, is that people like to consider themself everything but dark skinned. What motivated to write this entry was that I was having a conversation with a friend, and we were discussing what type of people that we date, and he stated that he considers hisself to be "brown". Now in my head I was thinking, "What does that mean?" This guy is dark skinned, just like me. I don't have a problem being dark skinned and I consider myself to dark skinned. What was his problem. He asked what tone my ex ws and I told he was dark as well, and then he asked if I have ever dated someone who was "brown" like him. Now, at this point I wanted to laugh, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. In my head, I was thinking "N*gga Please! You're dark!" I just ended up making a face. I really did not know how to let him know that he should stop fooling himself. I remember one day I saw him on the train, and he told me that he was going to get some color contacts, and I thought to myself that this was a bad idea. But I let him go do what he had to do. Althought this was so funny to me, I feel like a lot of people out here feel the same way.
Now in being in Boston for almost a year now, there are so many different types of black people. There are Black Americans, Carribeans, Africans, and Cape Verdeans (who don't consider themselves to be black, but they are!) There are also a lot of Black Brazilians. Now, some people that I have talked to, who may be , let's say Haitian and Dominican, althought they may be dark, they will tell you that they're mixed... and brown skinned. Yeah right! Or better yeat, I was walking to somewhere and this lady told me that I had pretty eyes ("pretty"), but then asked me what was my mix. She really killed the complement, like I had to mixed with something to be considered pretty!
Just unacceptable!