Fresh Start.
It's been a week since I graduate from college, and now its time to do some major soul searching, reorganizing and planning of my life. I think its for the better though. I need to get serious and actually do some growing up. I've been saying I'm gonna work on growing but it kinda always somehow gets pushed over. Speaking of pushover, tongiht I went to O'flaherterys in downtown sj. I realized how some people can be when they want to do something and sometimes forget about the other people's other committments. But not really a commitment, more like what i'm trying to say is don't waste my time if you are going to lally gag and ignore me. also if you know i have to do something or be somewhere, again please be courteous and respectful of my time.
also another thing that has happened is dna is on a break. some of it is still in the ambiguus areas but i think it will be good for both of us. its weirder/worse because we both hella miss each other and want to be together. but i also somehow manage to screw up the point in our relationship where we are both happy and satsified and all those good things. i don't know how but i just always feel like im a big disappointment, as a gf and a friend. its just hard for me to get close to people cause i get scared easily.
i also wonder if ive relied on my network too much, and now that i am out of college with many attempts and opporutunities to be independent, this is the reason ive been so sad. like now not many people can be there for me if i need something. and because of that now im less likely to not be around for them when they need it. im jsut tired of oing things for people that goes unappreciated, for lack of better terms. but i just want to be close to people so i can tell them how i feel. or maybe im annoying and am supposed to deal with my problems on my own.
i dont know, im kinda tired and think i just want to sleep everything off.
also another thing that has happened is dna is on a break. some of it is still in the ambiguus areas but i think it will be good for both of us. its weirder/worse because we both hella miss each other and want to be together. but i also somehow manage to screw up the point in our relationship where we are both happy and satsified and all those good things. i don't know how but i just always feel like im a big disappointment, as a gf and a friend. its just hard for me to get close to people cause i get scared easily.
i also wonder if ive relied on my network too much, and now that i am out of college with many attempts and opporutunities to be independent, this is the reason ive been so sad. like now not many people can be there for me if i need something. and because of that now im less likely to not be around for them when they need it. im jsut tired of oing things for people that goes unappreciated, for lack of better terms. but i just want to be close to people so i can tell them how i feel. or maybe im annoying and am supposed to deal with my problems on my own.
i dont know, im kinda tired and think i just want to sleep everything off.