(no subject)
Miles left without saying goodbye. I know that we are just friends, but he means so much to me in a non-sexual way that doesn't involve me wanting to touch him at all sexually. Oh that I could feel once more his warm embrace, like the gentle heat of a dusky desert breeze.
He has gone back to Earth with Kenko, that heartless slut, how can he bear to stay with her? To speak to her? To make sweet love to her turgid body? To hold her haglike form in his strong Celtic arms? and the children.
I love Miles so much. I yearn to be near him, to feel his scented breath upon my skin Ezri very much. And our baby is a horrible mistake. A burden that keeps me from my true love. Not that I could tell him that, not that he could ever love me as I love him a joy.
Why does Miles do people assume that just because I am roguishly handsome yet delicate like a desert bloom I must be shallow? I could quite easily love, for example, someone whose true inner beauty overcame their ageing looks. Like Ezri, obviously. If she were old. And a bit over-weight. And ginger. For example. I would still long to hold her in my arms, to caress her beautiful ging... err, anyway.
Little Benji is very beautiful, with his deep brown eyes and his sallow Celtic-like skin. Oddly, neither Ezri nor myself have ginger ancestors. It just makes him all the more special.
Oh, God, I miss Miles so much. I see his round face every time I close my eyes. I long to hear his voice next to my ear. Ezri thinks I have impotence. I cannot bear to tell her the real problem. It is better that she think I am a failure as a man. Because I am - I have failed to follow my heart, I have been a coward.
Was I wrong to get him that drunk? Now I know with so much detail what it is that I must live without. My heart is rent, like a dusky desert camel.
Ezri and I are very happy together. I wish I were dead. I can only hope that we do not stay together as Miles and Keiko have, against all common sense. He can't love her. My heart tells me he cannot love her.
In other news, I have been liberated by foreign forces and am now administered by an alliance of overseas powers, pending democratic elections. It's very strange.
He has gone back to Earth with Kenko, that heartless slut, how can he bear to stay with her? To speak to her? To make sweet love to her turgid body? To hold her haglike form in his strong Celtic arms? and the children.
I love Miles so much. I yearn to be near him, to feel his scented breath upon my skin Ezri very much. And our baby is a horrible mistake. A burden that keeps me from my true love. Not that I could tell him that, not that he could ever love me as I love him a joy.
Why does Miles do people assume that just because I am roguishly handsome yet delicate like a desert bloom I must be shallow? I could quite easily love, for example, someone whose true inner beauty overcame their ageing looks. Like Ezri, obviously. If she were old. And a bit over-weight. And ginger. For example. I would still long to hold her in my arms, to caress her beautiful ging... err, anyway.
Little Benji is very beautiful, with his deep brown eyes and his sallow Celtic-like skin. Oddly, neither Ezri nor myself have ginger ancestors. It just makes him all the more special.
Oh, God, I miss Miles so much. I see his round face every time I close my eyes. I long to hear his voice next to my ear. Ezri thinks I have impotence. I cannot bear to tell her the real problem. It is better that she think I am a failure as a man. Because I am - I have failed to follow my heart, I have been a coward.
Was I wrong to get him that drunk? Now I know with so much detail what it is that I must live without. My heart is rent, like a dusky desert camel.
Ezri and I are very happy together. I wish I were dead. I can only hope that we do not stay together as Miles and Keiko have, against all common sense. He can't love her. My heart tells me he cannot love her.
In other news, I have been liberated by foreign forces and am now administered by an alliance of overseas powers, pending democratic elections. It's very strange.