Scott v The Law: Case number 438
After several plans had been cancelled, I found myself sitting at home at 11:30 PM, having not left the house that day and going stir crazy. So, desperate to get out, I borrowed my sister's bike and hit the road.
Going down Taunton Road, I called Mr. Arron Tustin, who I hoped would meet me at Medport, so long as he was willing to wait for me to bike there. As I'm talking to my drummer friend, I see a Medford Township Police Officer driving his police cruiser out of the Taunton Forge shopping center. I quickly hang up the phone, unclear on what the law has to say about mixing cell phone usage and bicycling, and continue. Looking behind me, I see the police officer turn his cruiser around. "Oh lovely," I think. "Now he will pull up along side of me and question me.
I was wrong.
Flashing lights? I'm being... I'm being pulled over! On a bicycle! Can you even call it being pulled over? I was already on the shoulder of the road. So, I stop the bike, step off, and turn around. And so, it begins.
"Where you going?"
"Wawa."
"Where from?"
"...Home."
"Where's that."
(pointing down the road) "230 Pine Blvd."
"Do you have ID?"
"Yeah." (reaching into pocket) "Is something wrong?"
"Well, I just saw you riding down the road without a light on the bike. And I thought that Wawa closes at 11."
"Yeah, I know it closes, wasn't sure when."
He looks over the drivers license, not even cracking a smile at my afro picture, which was kind of disappointing. Handing it back, "All right, just be careful."
Was that really necessary? Oh, of course it was. If the police see Scott Healey, they must make sure he's not dealing drugs.
So, here is a recap of why I hate the law.
Senior year, I come to my car to find a ticket on the windshield. Parking without a permit. I had a permit. Had to go to court with a letter from the school saying, "Sorry, we fucked up!" Despite my innocence, I am treated like a hooligan. I'm pretty sure it was just because the judge fancied himself a Judge Judy of sorts, and was hoping Fox would notice his great zings and quips.
Also senior year, I come home from shopping with my sister to find two men in my living room. They are detectives. I think they are there to talk about the recent Coneheads vandalism. No, they are there because they are under the impression that I am a drug dealer. Hilarity ensues.
Opening night of the Alien Vs. Predator movie, and I am on my way with a car full of people. Flashing lights. They take forever to give me a ticket for some light being out, and send me on my way. When we get there, we are informed that the movie sold out just a few minutes ago. Damn police.
LBI, I am pulled over for speeding, but he lets me off with just a ticket for my license plate light. The next day, I am pulled over again for that same damn light. He asks if I had been drinking, which I had not, and why I had a bullhorn in my back seat. Hassle.
Jimbo's big farewell night. We are trying to go scaling, so we are wandering the town at 2 AM. Police spot four of us (Matt, Gwen, Travis, Me) and the trial begins. To make things even better, the one cop recognizes me from the previous year when he had found me... ahem... in the back seat of a minivan. He gives me a hard time about it, and they end up arresting Matt.
Walking to 7-11... well, actually, walking back from 7-11, a cop pulls up next to me, and basically goes through the same shpiel as the bike-pulling-over officer.
I enter Palace Diner one night, and the cops, as usual, are in the darkened non smoking room, lurking, huddled around a big table. My hair is loose and wild looking, causing one officer to remark, "Sideshow Bob!" And of course, I can do nothing to reply, because what do you say to a cop? Especially when you're non-confrontational to begin with.
There are probably more stories, but this has gone on long enough. I hate cops, they never do anything good for me, they always harass me, they are pieces of shit, they are lower than human, you can get turned down if you apply to be a cop and score too high on their intelligence tests, I hate cops.
There is more than just this going on in my life, especially since I last updated, but I don't feel like going over it all tonight. Have to wake up in about 5 or 6 hours.
"Every time the cops drive by, we smile and smile and smile and smile and smile."