Indeed
Series: Star Trek: IX (Reboot)
Title: "Indeed"
Rating: T (Mild Language)
Pairing: Spock, McCoy, Kirk (Non-Relationship)
Summary: But perhaps McCoy was seeing things.
Warnings: None.
A/N:
Just something I whipped up real quick. I apologize, I wrote it late into the morning light, and there is no beta. So forgive any misspellings and grammatical errors of the like. Enjoy.
1. indeed
The first time McCoy figured something might be up, came to a bit of surprise to him, though he's not exactly sure at what point he noticed it. Spock and Kirk had just came back from a mission, and both were hurt, per the usual, of course.
The only difference was the fact that Spock was more hurt than the Captain this time. Which was rather odd, considering the situations that Kirk, and not Spock, was likely to find himself in.
“Gotdammit, Spock, “ McCoy grumbled, rummaging through one of his drawers, looking for some instrument to mend the ailing alien, “What the hell happened down there?!”
Spock looked at him, his tone matter-of-fact, “The Captain was to be harmed, I merely stepped in and received the blow myself, in his stead.” His brow rose slightly as the doctor made his way back to him, tricorder in hand, “A logical move considering that he is the Captain of this ship.”
He shook his head, assessing Spock's condition, “You're both gonna get yourselves killed one day.”
Without missing a beat, Spock replied, “If it were to save the life of Jim, I do not mind, Doctor.”
McCoy's gaze fell on Spock's own, their eyes locking. He stared a moment longer than was comfortable and Spock merely turned his head, laying back, with his eyes closing as he rested against the pillow. He said nothing and returned to his task of checking Spock over.
Perhaps it was then, that he first noticed it.
Maybe it was the fact that Spock did not say it was logical, or that his life did not matter, only simply, that he did not mind. Maybe it was even the use of Jim's first name.
Or maybe he was reading too much into it, but he could've sworn he had seen something akin to what humans would call, “sorrow”, in his eyes.
But perhaps McCoy was just seeing things.
* * *
The second time was when he noticed that Spock had been slipping into the Captain's quarters at the end of their shifts, and they played chess for long hours into the night. Whether Kirk knew chess, or Spock taught him, he wasn't sure. Only Kirk had to have been enjoying it if Spock kept doing it, and he was sure the vice-versa was true.
He caught Spock one day, on his way to Kirk's room, chessboard tucked safely under his right arm. Curious about the sudden routine, he called to him, “Hey, Spock.”
He stopped in his tracks, nodding slightly in greeting, “You have a query, Doctor?”
“What are you doing?”
He motioned to the board under his arm, “The Captain and I are to engage in a game of chess for the night.”
“Jim knows chess?"
“It appears so, Doctor.” He tilted his head slightly, very slightly, almost as if he were confused, “However, I am still unable to ascertain, where or when, he has learned this ability.”
It was McCoy's turn to look confused, “He won't tell you?”
“It derives pleasure for the Captain, that I do not know certain things. He, as you humans would say, 'keeps me in the dark for his own amusement'.”
The doctor grinned, “He likes knowing something you don't.”
“Indeed, Doctor.”
“So when did he start inviting you for chess?”
A brow quirked slightly, “It was not the Captain who suggested the game. I simply asked if he could play, and invited him to do so.”
McCoy feigned shock, “I didn't think you liked to play games, Spock.”
“Chess is an activity of logic and strategy, I do not mind engaging in this activity. However, I do not play for my own enjoyment.”
Leave it to Spock to refer to a game as a simple 'activity', “Oh?”
Spock's brow raised again, “It is to relieve the stress of the Captain.”
“Jim's not very stressed.”
The Vulcan remained silent.
Oh.
McCoy almost doubled over in laughter, “He's not stressed, he's bored! You're playing games with him to keep him entertained!” He struck his knee, “To make him happy!”
To keep him company, he added silently to himself.
“I do not find the humour in this situation. I merely insisted upon this game as a form of stress relief for him.”
“Sure, sure, whatever you say, Spock.” And with that, the Vulcan nodded to him, preparing to leave.
“If you'll excuse me, Doctor.”
He was down the corridor quicker than McCoy could say “green-blooded hobgoblin.
* * *
The third occurrence McCoy noticed, was when he walked onto the bridge, and the Captain was happily munching away at a box of caramels. Seems recently, that once a week a box of caramel squares found its way onto the Captain's chair, and, after letting the good doctor examine a few boxes, he found them fit for him to eat. Though it was highly unlikely that anything would be in them, given the fact they were on the ship and everyone had access to view security footage, McCoy liked to be thorough.
The box contained four nickle-sized candies, obviously taking great care to not disturb Kirk's health, in turn causing the Captain to savour every last bite, in a way that some people might consider, lewd.
“Bones!” Kirk called to him, when he noticed the Doctor stepping from the turbolift, “I got some more again!” Spock, who had been facing the Captain, now turned in his seat, pulling a PADD down to his desk.
“Those better be sugar-free!” He said, stepping down to stand next to Kirk's chair.
“I don't know whoever is giving these to me,” Kirk spun to face his friend, sloppily sucking on square, “But I think I'm in love with her!”
It was at that exact moment, McCoy had chosen to look over to Spock, whom he could've sworn stopped what he was doing, and stiffened, only to seconds later, return to his task at the PADD he was hunched over.
“Oh, really?” He asked, his gaze never leaving Spock's uniformed back.
Kirk nodded, “They know my secret love, you know? Not everybody knows I love caramel squares. And they're totally not easy to come by.” He sucked one of his fingers with an audible pop, reaching into the box for another with his free hand. “They must've stocked up months ago when we had shore leave.”
“I'll say.” McCoy finally glanced down at the box in Kirk's lap, “There's a note.”
“Yeah, but I can't read it unfortunately.”
“And he won't let me translate it!” Uhura piped up, glancing over at the two from her position, “Or even look at the security cameras!”
McCoy looked to her, and then back to Kirk, “Well, why the hell not?”
“Because, it's private! I'm sure she'll share her confession sometime soon.” He turned the letter over in his hand, his wet fingers sticking to the paper, as McCoy's eyes were drawn to it once more. He knew that he knew that writing from somewhere, though he himself could not understand it. The shape and the lettering were all quite familiar, however.
“That is quite illogical, Captain.” Spock said as he turned to face his Kirk, “It's quite possible that she'll never reveal herself at all.”
That was odd. Spock commenting on things so illogical such as love, he smirked, “Why, Spock, what makes you think - “
Oh.
And then it clicked, almost audibly - McCoy was sure of it - as he stared at his First Officer, mouth slightly agape in shock, and maybe even horror.
“Spock!” Kirk intoned, elongating the 'O', and ignored what his friend had to say in favour of whining at Spock. “You're always ruining my fun!”
McCoy's gaze fell back onto his Captain once more.
“Illogical, Captain. I am only here to to provide logic.”
And then back to Spock.
Vulcan. The gotdamn note was written in Vulcan!
“Yeah, the fun killing logic!”
As quickly as possible, McCoy raced from the bridge, entering the turbolift with as much dignity as he could, Jim calling after him.
He needed a drink.
* * *
McCoy didn't know what to say. Not that there was much to say, or think.
Spock had feelings for Kirk.
Spock had feelings for Kirk.
Spock had feelings for Kirk.
He took a swig of brandy, as he shook his head. Spock was definitely trying to court Kirk. He chuckled a little at the fact that the damn alien, did indeed have feelings.
Feelings for Jim, he reminded himself.
And that the damn Vulcan had been subtly trying his damnedest to win Kirk over! But sending anonymous candies, and writing notes - probably love notes - in Vulcan? Spock had to know that Jim would never figure it out.
He had to.
Oh dear god, Spock did know it!
He knew his love - and McCoy snorted at the fact that he had used Spock and love in the same sentence - was unrequited. That he was willfully torturing himself by pleasing a man he could never have, possibly only for the sheer fact that it made him, Spock, happy.
Or “pleased”, as the alien might phrase it.
He downed the rest of the bottle, making a mental note to hit up Scotty for another when he got a chance.
* * *
It was only a few days later, when McCoy had recovered from the shock of learning that his “emotionless”, Vulcan of a First Officer, was in love with their Captain, that he had received a call from the gym.
Reaching over his paperwork, he knocked a few pieces to the floor in his effort to press the receive button and cursed inwardly as they scattered about. “McCoy, here.”
He was surprised to hear Spock's voice, which subsided when he revealed the nature of the call. “Doctor, it appears the Captain has injured himself yet again.”
“Gotdammit, Jim!” That kid couldn't last five minutes without injuring himself, let alone on his own damn ship!
“Doctor?”
“I'll be down there in just a second.”
“Doctor, the probability of - “ Spock began to say, but McCoy had cut him off as quickly as he could. He didn't have the patience for it today, as being in their presence was still a bit awkward for him, for the sexual tension - albeit one-sided - was thick enough to cut through with a steak knife, he was sure of it.
A few moments later, he appeared in the gym to find Jim sitting on the floor, nursing his ankle. Spock was crouched beside him, and apparently the two were talking, while Sulu stood beside them; he was the first to notice McCoy.
“McCoy!” He trotted over to the doctor, meeting him half way, as they made their way to Kirk, “I think I was a little too rough on the Captain. Sprained his ankle it seems.”
“... do not see the need to engage in activities of which you seem to have no aptitude for.” Spock had finished saying as McCoy and Sulu stepped up to them.
Kirk glared at Spock, clearly irritated, at his ankle or Spock, none could tell, “That is the purpose of training, Mr. Spock.”
“But your aptitude lies best with hand-to-hand combat. Would it not be suitable to continue training in this area?”
“Ah, Commander Spock,” Sulu interrupted and McCoy took this opportunity to kneel down and begin his work on Kirk's ankle, grumbling the entire time about Kirk's inability to stay safe, anywhere, “That was my fault. I needed a fencing partner, and the Captain said he would help out.”
“Even though he knew the risks of engaging in such an activity he clearly has no skill in?”
Kirk bristled at this, crossing his arms, “Oh stop it Spock, you're making me blush.” He turned his head slightly to his First Officer, obviously irritated at him, “Ever think that maybe I wanted to learn a few things?”
Spock raised a brow, “If you are willing to learn the basics of fencing, perhaps a teacher would be in order.”
Sulu shook his head and raised his hands in defense, “I'm not a very good teacher, to be honest.”
“I would be willing to teach the Captain the basics.” Spock finally glanced up to Sulu, “And then perhaps you would have a suitable partner.”
If McCoy didn't know any better, he'd say Spock was trying to placate him.
“I didn't know you knew how to fence.” Kirk said and Spock looked back to him, “I think you'd be a pretty good teacher. A hard-ass, sure, but a good one none-the-less.” He nodded, “Sure, if you want.”
“I would not mind at all, Captain.” And Kirk grinned.
“Awesome!” Sulu chirped in, “And then I could finally have someone to properly practice with!” He turned to Spock, “And maybe Commander, you and I could get some time in?”
Spock was silent for a few seconds, and McCoy knew immediately that he had no intention of ever sparing with Sulu. “Alrighty!” He interrupted, all eyes turning to him as he packed his medical bag, and stood, “Now that's done.” He shook his head at Kirk, “I have no idea how on earth you managed to get hurt just by fencing!”
The Captain looked sheepish, and Sulu took that moment to slip from the room with a quick wave, “Well, you see - “
McCoy shook his head, cutting him off, “I don't even wanna hear it. Now go and get back to your quarters and rest that ankle.”
Kirk smiled, and held out his hand to McCoy, “A little help then?”
Before the doctor could react, Spock had his right hand in Kirk's left, and his left hand on the small of his back. In a quick, fluid motion, Spock had him back on his feet in a matter of seconds. His hands lingered a little longer than necessary, but one could say it was to make sure the Captain was steady on his feet(foot) if anyone asked. “Captain.”
“Thanks, Spock! I know how you don't do the whole touch thing and and all that.” He grinned wide, “But I appreciate it.”
“Your thanks, “ He said, slowly removing his hands from Kirk's person and placing them at their usual position at the small of his own back, “Are quite... unnecessary, Captain.”
McCoy rolled his eyes. If Spock exuded any more sexual tension, even he might begin to feel the affects himself. How in blazes could Jim not feel that?
Blind bastard, “Anyway, Jim, head to your room, will ya?”
“Yeah, yeah. I will, lemmie got get my clothes. I'll be right back.” Kirk grumbled, heading into the locker room.
Spock glanced at McCoy, “I will wait here for the Captain, and escort him to his quarters.”
“Of course you will.”
“Doctor?” His eyebrow lifted upwards slightly in question.
“You're not very subtle, Spock.”
“I do not know that of which you speak, Doctor.”
McCoy scoffed, “It's a bold-faced lie that Vulcan's don't lie.”
“We do not.” He faced the doctor fully, “I have no knowledge of what you are speaking of. Perhaps it would be best if you elaborate.”
“Jim.” McCoy said.
Spock did not flinch, nor move. “I assure you Doctor - “
“Come off it Spock! You haven't exactly hidden it!”
“Hidden what?” A voice asked. Immediately, the two men turned to a limping Kirk, who was neatly folding his uniform over his arm.
Spock remained silent and McCoy spoke up, “Nothin' Jim, the ol'hobgoblin here was just going on about how much humans displease him.” He shot the Vulcan a glare and huffed, “Oh I'm sorry, displeasure would be a feeling, and you Vulcan's don't feel a damn thing.”
“You would be correct in that assessment, Doctor.”
“Oh come on guys, don't fight. I don't think I could stand for it.” Kirk said, limping past the two, and chuckled at his own little pun, “I'm pretty beat.” He turned to his First Officer, “Are we still gonna catch that game of chess, Spock?”
“Captain, I do not think that the chessboard, nor it's pieces, have the ability to fly or run and therefore see no need to catch them, as you say.”
The young man grinned, only to then fall into a fit of laughter, he clapped a hand momentarily onto Spock's shoulder before pulling it away, abruptly, remembering the whole 'Vulcan' thing. Despite what Spock might say, McCoy was sure that the Vulcan said things like that on purpose, just in a small effort to make Jim laugh, “Oh man, Spock, you're too funny sometimes... I'm heading to my room, this really hurts.”
“Captain, I would appreciate it, if you would wait momentarily outside. After I speak to Doctor McCoy, I may still escort you to your quarters.”
“Alright, alright.” He replied, chuckling still.
Spock watched him as he limped painfully out into the hallway, his back to McCoy.
“You owe me, twice now.”
His lips pursed, Spock knew when he had been beaten, “It is my wish that you do not speak of this, with the Captain.”
“Of course not! Hell, I wouldn't even know where to begin telling him even if I wanted to!” McCoy stared off into the distance, just over Spock's shoulder, into the hallway, where he knew Jim was waiting (im)patiently for Spock. After a moment, “What are you gonna do?”
“It would be illogical to assume that there is something that I can do, Doctor. I am experiencing, what you human's call, 'love'. It is an alien feeling to me, and to honest, I do not think any action would be wise.”
“Yet you still spend time in his presence - “
“As I am First Officer of this ship - “
“Playing chess with him - “
“A game that keeps him relieved - “
“Writing him notes - “
“I don't think - “
“And giving him candy!” McCoy's voice rose and Spock silenced himself save for one sentence.
“Please, Doctor, the Captain is right outside.”
“Doubtful that boy heard a word of it, he'll most likely be as oblivious as he is now, until the day he dies!”
“It would preferable that we keep it this way.” Spock looked to him, almost as if he were thinking of his next words carefully, “It was indeed illogical of me to purse my own interests in this matter, however, I could not, as you say, 'help myself'. I almost feel compulsory in action to act on these... feelings. These small tokens that I bestow upon the Captain does indeed quell them. No doubt it is my human side that interferes with my Vulcan - ”
McCoy rolled his eyes, “Oh just shut up already! Love is irrational, illogical and probably any other word that denotes an 'i' negative! No creature, can say if it will sway them or not.” He looked Spock in the eyes, who averted his own, “This includes you.”
“It is as it seems.”
Silence fell over them, as McCoy stewed over his words, unsure of what to say next and Spock looked as if he were remembering something.
He sighed. This wasn't going to end well, especially if Spock decided to act on it, which he doubt because the whole notion was illogical on his part.
And so were writing notes and giving the man candy.
“Let me get one thing straight, and you put all of that silly Vulcan logic aside, ya hear?” Spock's brows rose, “And hear me out!”
“I will... listen.”
“You do this stuff for Jim, because it makes you, as much as you hate to admit it, happy, yeah?”
“Your assumption in the fact that I am most reluc - “
“Just as answer the damn question!” The doctor cried, his patience wearing thin.
Spock nodded in affirmation after several moments.
McCoy raised his hand to his forehead, rubbing away what he assumed was going to be a massive headache any time soon, “Are you going to try... to pursue this?”
“I do not believe I am.”
“You're saying you don't know.”
Silence. And then, “I must go, the Captain is expecting me. I am quite sure that he is growing impatient as we speak, and in turn, experiencing more pain.”
Spock turned to leave and McCoy was nearing the end of his rope. This was bound to end in heartbreak, one way or another.
“Spock!” The Vulcan stopped mid-step, his back still to him, “For all technical purposes, you realize that you are a man, right?”
“...Yes, Doctor.”
“He's not gonna just... he can't...” He sighed, his headache getting worse, “Jim's not gay.”
Spock's shoulders squared slightly, as he looked at the doctor from his peripheral vision, “It is indeed, an unfortunate circumstance, Doctor.”
McCoy closed his eyes, sighing heavily, as the other took his leave. He figured he should leave soon as well, and start his drinking early.
He was after all, drinking for two.
~fin
Title: "Indeed"
Rating: T (Mild Language)
Pairing: Spock, McCoy, Kirk (Non-Relationship)
Summary: But perhaps McCoy was seeing things.
Warnings: None.
A/N:
Just something I whipped up real quick. I apologize, I wrote it late into the morning light, and there is no beta. So forgive any misspellings and grammatical errors of the like. Enjoy.
1. indeed
The first time McCoy figured something might be up, came to a bit of surprise to him, though he's not exactly sure at what point he noticed it. Spock and Kirk had just came back from a mission, and both were hurt, per the usual, of course.
The only difference was the fact that Spock was more hurt than the Captain this time. Which was rather odd, considering the situations that Kirk, and not Spock, was likely to find himself in.
“Gotdammit, Spock, “ McCoy grumbled, rummaging through one of his drawers, looking for some instrument to mend the ailing alien, “What the hell happened down there?!”
Spock looked at him, his tone matter-of-fact, “The Captain was to be harmed, I merely stepped in and received the blow myself, in his stead.” His brow rose slightly as the doctor made his way back to him, tricorder in hand, “A logical move considering that he is the Captain of this ship.”
He shook his head, assessing Spock's condition, “You're both gonna get yourselves killed one day.”
Without missing a beat, Spock replied, “If it were to save the life of Jim, I do not mind, Doctor.”
McCoy's gaze fell on Spock's own, their eyes locking. He stared a moment longer than was comfortable and Spock merely turned his head, laying back, with his eyes closing as he rested against the pillow. He said nothing and returned to his task of checking Spock over.
Perhaps it was then, that he first noticed it.
Maybe it was the fact that Spock did not say it was logical, or that his life did not matter, only simply, that he did not mind. Maybe it was even the use of Jim's first name.
Or maybe he was reading too much into it, but he could've sworn he had seen something akin to what humans would call, “sorrow”, in his eyes.
But perhaps McCoy was just seeing things.
* * *
The second time was when he noticed that Spock had been slipping into the Captain's quarters at the end of their shifts, and they played chess for long hours into the night. Whether Kirk knew chess, or Spock taught him, he wasn't sure. Only Kirk had to have been enjoying it if Spock kept doing it, and he was sure the vice-versa was true.
He caught Spock one day, on his way to Kirk's room, chessboard tucked safely under his right arm. Curious about the sudden routine, he called to him, “Hey, Spock.”
He stopped in his tracks, nodding slightly in greeting, “You have a query, Doctor?”
“What are you doing?”
He motioned to the board under his arm, “The Captain and I are to engage in a game of chess for the night.”
“Jim knows chess?"
“It appears so, Doctor.” He tilted his head slightly, very slightly, almost as if he were confused, “However, I am still unable to ascertain, where or when, he has learned this ability.”
It was McCoy's turn to look confused, “He won't tell you?”
“It derives pleasure for the Captain, that I do not know certain things. He, as you humans would say, 'keeps me in the dark for his own amusement'.”
The doctor grinned, “He likes knowing something you don't.”
“Indeed, Doctor.”
“So when did he start inviting you for chess?”
A brow quirked slightly, “It was not the Captain who suggested the game. I simply asked if he could play, and invited him to do so.”
McCoy feigned shock, “I didn't think you liked to play games, Spock.”
“Chess is an activity of logic and strategy, I do not mind engaging in this activity. However, I do not play for my own enjoyment.”
Leave it to Spock to refer to a game as a simple 'activity', “Oh?”
Spock's brow raised again, “It is to relieve the stress of the Captain.”
“Jim's not very stressed.”
The Vulcan remained silent.
Oh.
McCoy almost doubled over in laughter, “He's not stressed, he's bored! You're playing games with him to keep him entertained!” He struck his knee, “To make him happy!”
To keep him company, he added silently to himself.
“I do not find the humour in this situation. I merely insisted upon this game as a form of stress relief for him.”
“Sure, sure, whatever you say, Spock.” And with that, the Vulcan nodded to him, preparing to leave.
“If you'll excuse me, Doctor.”
He was down the corridor quicker than McCoy could say “green-blooded hobgoblin.
* * *
The third occurrence McCoy noticed, was when he walked onto the bridge, and the Captain was happily munching away at a box of caramels. Seems recently, that once a week a box of caramel squares found its way onto the Captain's chair, and, after letting the good doctor examine a few boxes, he found them fit for him to eat. Though it was highly unlikely that anything would be in them, given the fact they were on the ship and everyone had access to view security footage, McCoy liked to be thorough.
The box contained four nickle-sized candies, obviously taking great care to not disturb Kirk's health, in turn causing the Captain to savour every last bite, in a way that some people might consider, lewd.
“Bones!” Kirk called to him, when he noticed the Doctor stepping from the turbolift, “I got some more again!” Spock, who had been facing the Captain, now turned in his seat, pulling a PADD down to his desk.
“Those better be sugar-free!” He said, stepping down to stand next to Kirk's chair.
“I don't know whoever is giving these to me,” Kirk spun to face his friend, sloppily sucking on square, “But I think I'm in love with her!”
It was at that exact moment, McCoy had chosen to look over to Spock, whom he could've sworn stopped what he was doing, and stiffened, only to seconds later, return to his task at the PADD he was hunched over.
“Oh, really?” He asked, his gaze never leaving Spock's uniformed back.
Kirk nodded, “They know my secret love, you know? Not everybody knows I love caramel squares. And they're totally not easy to come by.” He sucked one of his fingers with an audible pop, reaching into the box for another with his free hand. “They must've stocked up months ago when we had shore leave.”
“I'll say.” McCoy finally glanced down at the box in Kirk's lap, “There's a note.”
“Yeah, but I can't read it unfortunately.”
“And he won't let me translate it!” Uhura piped up, glancing over at the two from her position, “Or even look at the security cameras!”
McCoy looked to her, and then back to Kirk, “Well, why the hell not?”
“Because, it's private! I'm sure she'll share her confession sometime soon.” He turned the letter over in his hand, his wet fingers sticking to the paper, as McCoy's eyes were drawn to it once more. He knew that he knew that writing from somewhere, though he himself could not understand it. The shape and the lettering were all quite familiar, however.
“That is quite illogical, Captain.” Spock said as he turned to face his Kirk, “It's quite possible that she'll never reveal herself at all.”
That was odd. Spock commenting on things so illogical such as love, he smirked, “Why, Spock, what makes you think - “
Oh.
And then it clicked, almost audibly - McCoy was sure of it - as he stared at his First Officer, mouth slightly agape in shock, and maybe even horror.
“Spock!” Kirk intoned, elongating the 'O', and ignored what his friend had to say in favour of whining at Spock. “You're always ruining my fun!”
McCoy's gaze fell back onto his Captain once more.
“Illogical, Captain. I am only here to to provide logic.”
And then back to Spock.
Vulcan. The gotdamn note was written in Vulcan!
“Yeah, the fun killing logic!”
As quickly as possible, McCoy raced from the bridge, entering the turbolift with as much dignity as he could, Jim calling after him.
He needed a drink.
* * *
McCoy didn't know what to say. Not that there was much to say, or think.
Spock had feelings for Kirk.
Spock had feelings for Kirk.
Spock had feelings for Kirk.
He took a swig of brandy, as he shook his head. Spock was definitely trying to court Kirk. He chuckled a little at the fact that the damn alien, did indeed have feelings.
Feelings for Jim, he reminded himself.
And that the damn Vulcan had been subtly trying his damnedest to win Kirk over! But sending anonymous candies, and writing notes - probably love notes - in Vulcan? Spock had to know that Jim would never figure it out.
He had to.
Oh dear god, Spock did know it!
He knew his love - and McCoy snorted at the fact that he had used Spock and love in the same sentence - was unrequited. That he was willfully torturing himself by pleasing a man he could never have, possibly only for the sheer fact that it made him, Spock, happy.
Or “pleased”, as the alien might phrase it.
He downed the rest of the bottle, making a mental note to hit up Scotty for another when he got a chance.
* * *
It was only a few days later, when McCoy had recovered from the shock of learning that his “emotionless”, Vulcan of a First Officer, was in love with their Captain, that he had received a call from the gym.
Reaching over his paperwork, he knocked a few pieces to the floor in his effort to press the receive button and cursed inwardly as they scattered about. “McCoy, here.”
He was surprised to hear Spock's voice, which subsided when he revealed the nature of the call. “Doctor, it appears the Captain has injured himself yet again.”
“Gotdammit, Jim!” That kid couldn't last five minutes without injuring himself, let alone on his own damn ship!
“Doctor?”
“I'll be down there in just a second.”
“Doctor, the probability of - “ Spock began to say, but McCoy had cut him off as quickly as he could. He didn't have the patience for it today, as being in their presence was still a bit awkward for him, for the sexual tension - albeit one-sided - was thick enough to cut through with a steak knife, he was sure of it.
A few moments later, he appeared in the gym to find Jim sitting on the floor, nursing his ankle. Spock was crouched beside him, and apparently the two were talking, while Sulu stood beside them; he was the first to notice McCoy.
“McCoy!” He trotted over to the doctor, meeting him half way, as they made their way to Kirk, “I think I was a little too rough on the Captain. Sprained his ankle it seems.”
“... do not see the need to engage in activities of which you seem to have no aptitude for.” Spock had finished saying as McCoy and Sulu stepped up to them.
Kirk glared at Spock, clearly irritated, at his ankle or Spock, none could tell, “That is the purpose of training, Mr. Spock.”
“But your aptitude lies best with hand-to-hand combat. Would it not be suitable to continue training in this area?”
“Ah, Commander Spock,” Sulu interrupted and McCoy took this opportunity to kneel down and begin his work on Kirk's ankle, grumbling the entire time about Kirk's inability to stay safe, anywhere, “That was my fault. I needed a fencing partner, and the Captain said he would help out.”
“Even though he knew the risks of engaging in such an activity he clearly has no skill in?”
Kirk bristled at this, crossing his arms, “Oh stop it Spock, you're making me blush.” He turned his head slightly to his First Officer, obviously irritated at him, “Ever think that maybe I wanted to learn a few things?”
Spock raised a brow, “If you are willing to learn the basics of fencing, perhaps a teacher would be in order.”
Sulu shook his head and raised his hands in defense, “I'm not a very good teacher, to be honest.”
“I would be willing to teach the Captain the basics.” Spock finally glanced up to Sulu, “And then perhaps you would have a suitable partner.”
If McCoy didn't know any better, he'd say Spock was trying to placate him.
“I didn't know you knew how to fence.” Kirk said and Spock looked back to him, “I think you'd be a pretty good teacher. A hard-ass, sure, but a good one none-the-less.” He nodded, “Sure, if you want.”
“I would not mind at all, Captain.” And Kirk grinned.
“Awesome!” Sulu chirped in, “And then I could finally have someone to properly practice with!” He turned to Spock, “And maybe Commander, you and I could get some time in?”
Spock was silent for a few seconds, and McCoy knew immediately that he had no intention of ever sparing with Sulu. “Alrighty!” He interrupted, all eyes turning to him as he packed his medical bag, and stood, “Now that's done.” He shook his head at Kirk, “I have no idea how on earth you managed to get hurt just by fencing!”
The Captain looked sheepish, and Sulu took that moment to slip from the room with a quick wave, “Well, you see - “
McCoy shook his head, cutting him off, “I don't even wanna hear it. Now go and get back to your quarters and rest that ankle.”
Kirk smiled, and held out his hand to McCoy, “A little help then?”
Before the doctor could react, Spock had his right hand in Kirk's left, and his left hand on the small of his back. In a quick, fluid motion, Spock had him back on his feet in a matter of seconds. His hands lingered a little longer than necessary, but one could say it was to make sure the Captain was steady on his feet(foot) if anyone asked. “Captain.”
“Thanks, Spock! I know how you don't do the whole touch thing and and all that.” He grinned wide, “But I appreciate it.”
“Your thanks, “ He said, slowly removing his hands from Kirk's person and placing them at their usual position at the small of his own back, “Are quite... unnecessary, Captain.”
McCoy rolled his eyes. If Spock exuded any more sexual tension, even he might begin to feel the affects himself. How in blazes could Jim not feel that?
Blind bastard, “Anyway, Jim, head to your room, will ya?”
“Yeah, yeah. I will, lemmie got get my clothes. I'll be right back.” Kirk grumbled, heading into the locker room.
Spock glanced at McCoy, “I will wait here for the Captain, and escort him to his quarters.”
“Of course you will.”
“Doctor?” His eyebrow lifted upwards slightly in question.
“You're not very subtle, Spock.”
“I do not know that of which you speak, Doctor.”
McCoy scoffed, “It's a bold-faced lie that Vulcan's don't lie.”
“We do not.” He faced the doctor fully, “I have no knowledge of what you are speaking of. Perhaps it would be best if you elaborate.”
“Jim.” McCoy said.
Spock did not flinch, nor move. “I assure you Doctor - “
“Come off it Spock! You haven't exactly hidden it!”
“Hidden what?” A voice asked. Immediately, the two men turned to a limping Kirk, who was neatly folding his uniform over his arm.
Spock remained silent and McCoy spoke up, “Nothin' Jim, the ol'hobgoblin here was just going on about how much humans displease him.” He shot the Vulcan a glare and huffed, “Oh I'm sorry, displeasure would be a feeling, and you Vulcan's don't feel a damn thing.”
“You would be correct in that assessment, Doctor.”
“Oh come on guys, don't fight. I don't think I could stand for it.” Kirk said, limping past the two, and chuckled at his own little pun, “I'm pretty beat.” He turned to his First Officer, “Are we still gonna catch that game of chess, Spock?”
“Captain, I do not think that the chessboard, nor it's pieces, have the ability to fly or run and therefore see no need to catch them, as you say.”
The young man grinned, only to then fall into a fit of laughter, he clapped a hand momentarily onto Spock's shoulder before pulling it away, abruptly, remembering the whole 'Vulcan' thing. Despite what Spock might say, McCoy was sure that the Vulcan said things like that on purpose, just in a small effort to make Jim laugh, “Oh man, Spock, you're too funny sometimes... I'm heading to my room, this really hurts.”
“Captain, I would appreciate it, if you would wait momentarily outside. After I speak to Doctor McCoy, I may still escort you to your quarters.”
“Alright, alright.” He replied, chuckling still.
Spock watched him as he limped painfully out into the hallway, his back to McCoy.
“You owe me, twice now.”
His lips pursed, Spock knew when he had been beaten, “It is my wish that you do not speak of this, with the Captain.”
“Of course not! Hell, I wouldn't even know where to begin telling him even if I wanted to!” McCoy stared off into the distance, just over Spock's shoulder, into the hallway, where he knew Jim was waiting (im)patiently for Spock. After a moment, “What are you gonna do?”
“It would be illogical to assume that there is something that I can do, Doctor. I am experiencing, what you human's call, 'love'. It is an alien feeling to me, and to honest, I do not think any action would be wise.”
“Yet you still spend time in his presence - “
“As I am First Officer of this ship - “
“Playing chess with him - “
“A game that keeps him relieved - “
“Writing him notes - “
“I don't think - “
“And giving him candy!” McCoy's voice rose and Spock silenced himself save for one sentence.
“Please, Doctor, the Captain is right outside.”
“Doubtful that boy heard a word of it, he'll most likely be as oblivious as he is now, until the day he dies!”
“It would preferable that we keep it this way.” Spock looked to him, almost as if he were thinking of his next words carefully, “It was indeed illogical of me to purse my own interests in this matter, however, I could not, as you say, 'help myself'. I almost feel compulsory in action to act on these... feelings. These small tokens that I bestow upon the Captain does indeed quell them. No doubt it is my human side that interferes with my Vulcan - ”
McCoy rolled his eyes, “Oh just shut up already! Love is irrational, illogical and probably any other word that denotes an 'i' negative! No creature, can say if it will sway them or not.” He looked Spock in the eyes, who averted his own, “This includes you.”
“It is as it seems.”
Silence fell over them, as McCoy stewed over his words, unsure of what to say next and Spock looked as if he were remembering something.
He sighed. This wasn't going to end well, especially if Spock decided to act on it, which he doubt because the whole notion was illogical on his part.
And so were writing notes and giving the man candy.
“Let me get one thing straight, and you put all of that silly Vulcan logic aside, ya hear?” Spock's brows rose, “And hear me out!”
“I will... listen.”
“You do this stuff for Jim, because it makes you, as much as you hate to admit it, happy, yeah?”
“Your assumption in the fact that I am most reluc - “
“Just as answer the damn question!” The doctor cried, his patience wearing thin.
Spock nodded in affirmation after several moments.
McCoy raised his hand to his forehead, rubbing away what he assumed was going to be a massive headache any time soon, “Are you going to try... to pursue this?”
“I do not believe I am.”
“You're saying you don't know.”
Silence. And then, “I must go, the Captain is expecting me. I am quite sure that he is growing impatient as we speak, and in turn, experiencing more pain.”
Spock turned to leave and McCoy was nearing the end of his rope. This was bound to end in heartbreak, one way or another.
“Spock!” The Vulcan stopped mid-step, his back still to him, “For all technical purposes, you realize that you are a man, right?”
“...Yes, Doctor.”
“He's not gonna just... he can't...” He sighed, his headache getting worse, “Jim's not gay.”
Spock's shoulders squared slightly, as he looked at the doctor from his peripheral vision, “It is indeed, an unfortunate circumstance, Doctor.”
McCoy closed his eyes, sighing heavily, as the other took his leave. He figured he should leave soon as well, and start his drinking early.
He was after all, drinking for two.
~fin