Anti-Social Media
Absolute zilch has changed (for the better) since my last writing.
No matter what I do to try to start righting this ship, I lose interest, fall right back on the bottle and black out good chunks of my "free" days.
During my waking hours, I feel much like I'm controlling a Pretender shell more than actually living. Putting on an appearance. Distracted by the Internet. Head home, and basically vanish into the black hole until the sun rises again.
I don't even know if I really am serious about righting this ship.
I'd like to be completely away from the Internet.
I did have an "amusing" exchange with a cowardly troll that had him quite furious, unhinged, and taking personal shots of fanfiction in his futile attempts to rebut my provocations. Made me laugh.
I could pay someone to hear me say these words, whilst I sit on a couch
but I don't believe that shit will be any better.
I'd rather have some likeminded people to be around, instead of wasting my talents behind a screen. I have no idea where those people are, and it's a fairly sized metro area.
Somehow, I think the drinking and whatnot is my slow, but steady way of waving the white flag. Others just go a more extreme route; then people end up wondering, asking "What happened? (S)he had everything."
Not everything. I think people underrate the importance of having a confidant, someone you don't pay to voice your grievances. These people suffer in silence, and disappear the same way.
It's football season. The Eagles suck but have a winning record. I'm not that into it, and really don't want to get into the "Vick Sucks" stuff; I'm ambivalent. Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg (Offensive Coordinator) do suck but even that's nuanced. The bottom line is that there is little consistency. WIthout that, forget about the playoffs.
I have at least gotten back into playing fighting games online with my friends who are miles away from me. At least then, I seem alive, cursing dropped inputs and my tendency to run into super arts unblocked. But eventually, that will end up being more of the same.
It's about a week until the second anniversary of my father's passing, and I'm exactly where I didn't want to be. Completely lost, with no sense of direction. Backslid back to 2007 days.
Perhaps I will start this time, by slowly withdrawing from social media. Message boards, Facebook, Twitter, even this site. I'll update my music blog, I'll read my email and Autoblog, I'll watch Youtube, but I won't comment, won't mention anything. I need to GTFO this sinkhole until equilbrium is restored.
Might be a fool's errand, but fuggit.
-- Dr. Claw
No matter what I do to try to start righting this ship, I lose interest, fall right back on the bottle and black out good chunks of my "free" days.
During my waking hours, I feel much like I'm controlling a Pretender shell more than actually living. Putting on an appearance. Distracted by the Internet. Head home, and basically vanish into the black hole until the sun rises again.
I don't even know if I really am serious about righting this ship.
I'd like to be completely away from the Internet.
I did have an "amusing" exchange with a cowardly troll that had him quite furious, unhinged, and taking personal shots of fanfiction in his futile attempts to rebut my provocations. Made me laugh.
I could pay someone to hear me say these words, whilst I sit on a couch
but I don't believe that shit will be any better.
I'd rather have some likeminded people to be around, instead of wasting my talents behind a screen. I have no idea where those people are, and it's a fairly sized metro area.
Somehow, I think the drinking and whatnot is my slow, but steady way of waving the white flag. Others just go a more extreme route; then people end up wondering, asking "What happened? (S)he had everything."
Not everything. I think people underrate the importance of having a confidant, someone you don't pay to voice your grievances. These people suffer in silence, and disappear the same way.
It's football season. The Eagles suck but have a winning record. I'm not that into it, and really don't want to get into the "Vick Sucks" stuff; I'm ambivalent. Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg (Offensive Coordinator) do suck but even that's nuanced. The bottom line is that there is little consistency. WIthout that, forget about the playoffs.
I have at least gotten back into playing fighting games online with my friends who are miles away from me. At least then, I seem alive, cursing dropped inputs and my tendency to run into super arts unblocked. But eventually, that will end up being more of the same.
It's about a week until the second anniversary of my father's passing, and I'm exactly where I didn't want to be. Completely lost, with no sense of direction. Backslid back to 2007 days.
Perhaps I will start this time, by slowly withdrawing from social media. Message boards, Facebook, Twitter, even this site. I'll update my music blog, I'll read my email and Autoblog, I'll watch Youtube, but I won't comment, won't mention anything. I need to GTFO this sinkhole until equilbrium is restored.
Might be a fool's errand, but fuggit.
-- Dr. Claw