(no subject)
When you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.
I don't know what exactly it is about me or what exactly i do to get bad vibes thrown my way. i always get the explanation "well, people are jealous". it's true sometimes some people are and they say nasty things about you to make themselves feel better. people are fucked up! but i don't think i've met anyone more fucked up that ricardo medina. his reactions and shit talking have completely come out of left field. everything was fine in november, he was even begining to talk to jose again. things between myself and him have always been fine. so he dissapeared for a month and a half, then makes a comeback on myspace and is just a completely different person. he looks skinnier and he pencils in his eyebrows now. he's deffinitely upped the the "FABULOUS" factor. which my rogelin says is what makes HIM homophobic. all these dumb little gay guys who tan till there's no tomorrow, wear more makeup than betty loren and tammy faye COMBINED, who SWEAR by the movie MEAN GIRLS, and "WILL CUT A BITCH UP". but ricardo was ALL SHOW. sure he talked a bunch of shit but i knew he really was a tender soul. i had some really REAL moments w/ ricardo in which he would confide in me and i have never told anyone and NEVER will. i really love him he won a really special place in my heart.
Well ricardo has just posted up a blog on myspace, his year-in-review, so to speak. i happened to make the top of his list and right underneath me was jose. it's nice to know he thought about us first. however, it was quite nasty. not so much for me b/c what he said doesn't bother me at all. actually im really embarrased for him. BUT, what he's saying about jose is on a totally different level. i know that many of you can back me up when i say that jose saenz is one of the most spectacular people in the world. no one will EVER compare to him. he's one of those people w/ that special sparkle in his eyes, who you KNOW has great things awaiting him in the future. ricardo is just trying to rain on his parade b/c he is unhappy w/ himself.
At first, ricardo's sudden attack of spycho really hurt me, but now i just don't know what to think. i mean for christ's sake he THREW a brick at jose's door. it sounds more dramatic than the actual damage. it looked like he had someone else help him carry up that huge chunk of concrete and all they could manage to do was slide it against the door. i laughed at that. what i don't find amusing is the fact that i KNOW that ricardo will crash and burn faster than his fake tan. im really scared for him. i'll never stop caring for him, but at the moment im just really dissapointed in him b/c i know he can be better than this. how long can you live your life being a fake person? everything in this life eventually catches up to you...and ricardo better grab on tight.
fucken berwyn kids.
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SCHOOL
Is going GREAT! im able to be creative again and give the GIANT finger to chemistry. im taking independent photo studio, WATCH OUT WORLD! or more like WATCH OUT SUBURB KIDS. im gonna hit them soo hard with my skillz they won't know what hit them. suburban kids are something else. im never going to be able to relate to them, it's like two totally different worlds. i know cicero is "technically" a suburb, but come on? we keep it real....right sheena? im gonna get shot by a chicago kid for saying that.
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BOYS
SUCK! " i never knew you would be the biggest chicken in the world". why do people get so scared of rejection? why do we have to make things soo complicated. im willing to bend my elbow, what about you?
im gonna go out w/ roger garcia tomorrow and just get distracted from my little world.
catch you on the flip side,
brenda T!