(no subject)
You look down at the four pills in your hand. Three are vitamins. Two are the same. One is small and green and it hurts to look at.
Things have been better since that little green pill became part of your routine, but that doesn't mean that you like it. It's hard to bear that the only thing that gives you back your energy is that little thing. You hate to feel dependent, but you know you are.
It makes you angry that you have to do this. It feels like one of those medicines that take the symptoms away but do nothing for what's causing them. The pain is still there, always there, but you don't feel it like you should. You wonder if the meds are making you numb, and it scares you for a minute. Mom would never let me do something that would hurt me, you assure yourself.
Still, the only thing these pills are doing is letting you function, but you still aren't okay. You want to feel again, and you want to feel what you should feel.
"I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay."
-Fall Out Boy
Sophomore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year
"I'm not o-fucking-kay."
-My Chemical Romance
I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
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