Funniest C/C's Of Late
In order that you may laugh (and in accident and emergency we laugh that we may not cry) I have a new list: funniest chief complaints! Matt, Cia, all other medical professionals, feel free to add on in the comments. Names redacted because HIPAA.
1. "It hurts when I fart."
2. "I had déja vu in the shower and got real nervous ( Read more... )
1. "It hurts when I fart."
2. "I had déja vu in the shower and got real nervous ( Read more... )
Was NOT easy to not say, 'No shit Sherlock'
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Two women came in, the pt and another female. Abdominal pain, cessation of menses, etc.
Me: Could you be pregnant?
Her: *significant look at other * No, I can't.
Me: Are you sure you're not pregnant?
Her: I'm a lesbian, I can't be pregnant.
Doc had me run a pregnancy urine test anyway. Surprise surprise--she was pregnant. She was also single by the time she was discharged.
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When I was in the ER for a rotation in nursing school, woman came in, fairly obese, complaining of abdominal pain and cramps. Said the pain got more intense and more frequent. Denied possibility of pregnancy because "we use the pill". Doc palpated her belly, told me she felt pregnant. Did a vaginal, pt protesting the whole time she couldn't be pregnant. Doc pointed out the pill does occasionally fail. She was dilating, so we put in a call to CNR. While waiting, doc asked about the pill what time she takes it and if she takes it the same time every day. 'Oh, *I* don't take it. I tried and it made me sick, so my husband takes it.'
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c/c "White stuff when I wee-wee" Dx: Gonorrhea. He was 27, btw.
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seen too many colostomies with STI Sx. It is disturbingly common.
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2. I LOVE getting these. I think I've gotten about five or six over the years. I really have to suppress my laughter when the woman says "That baby ain't mine!"
3. *facepalm* And they reproduced. That's the scary part.
4. Charming.
5. There are prostitutes who sell their colostomies to be used sexually. *offers you brain bleach*
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