Hampton Beach as a totally unfair IM Conversation
Was supposed to leave the night before; instead, probably left around ten. Too many fucking dead braincells to remember anything from the past four days. Hammered myself hard so to speak. Also burned the shit out of my back and sides. I'm in a piss-poor middle of the night mood right now so the only thing I am likely to do is remember all the harsh shit about Hampton Beach. One of which is NOT the fact that it is across a beautiful marsh from the low, squat domes of the Seabrook NH Nuclear Power Plant. I think that's awesome. Also, there's a hot dog place near it which makes killer dogs and gives you a gigantic basket of fries. All portions in NH are goddamn enormous. What gives? These people aren't even that fat. But the plates pile high no question.
YOU HAVE ENTERED CHAT ROOM KANER6126'S HAMPTON BEACH PLACE
BrockLanders421: *mumble* Thanks for having us over.
JohnnyCashsAshes: You sleep on the floor. (When I pass out drunk after you throw up on yourself I'll steal your blankets and pillows.)
Kaner6126: Hey, there's a used book store, lets go there.
BrockLanders421: Ok.
Kaner6126: But first, lets go to the boardwalk.
YOU HAVE LEFT CHAT ROOM KANER6126'S HAMPTON BEACH PLACE
I feel like we sort of intentionally wasted a lot of mornings. Like, two of the three. I went to the beach for awhile one of the days and I got sunburned as hell like I said. And there's still sand showing up, sand I carried back with me. I like the beach, but the water is what we might call 'cold as the devil's dick'. You're saying to yourself: But sean the devils dick is hot because hell is hot is it not and I say to you: my friend you are an asshole because I am given to understand that the deepest level of hell, that reserved for traitors, is icy as fuck and that is probably where the Devil is seeing as he betrayed his god and consequently himself ergo his dick is colder than a Don Rickles put-down.
YOU HAVE ENTERED CHAT ROOM DRUNKEN DISCO BOARDWALK HAVEN OF DAMNED REPUBLICANS
Kaner6126: I'll go buy more beer.
Kaner6126 has left the room.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Cigarette?
BrockLanders421: Sure, thanks.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Say it don't spray it.
JohnnyCashsAshes: God, you are gay. You gay homo put that cell-phone away
BrockLanders421: Don't feel like it.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Then I will burn it with my cigarette, you fucking faggot.
JohnnyCashsAshes: What's your damage, you fucking faggot?
BrockLanders421: Hey, look, baseball. What's this song called?
JohnnyCashsAshes: JESUS YOU ARE SO QUEER.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Hey, ladies, you don't have to worry about this guy unless he has a dick.
BrockLanders421: ... yeah, I like to suck dicks...
JohnnyCashsAshes: He likes to suck dicks.
JohnnyCashsAshes: You heard him.
JohnnyCashsAshes: With his own mouth.
BrockLanders421: The mouth I use to suck dicks with.
Kaner6126 has entered the room.
Kaner6126: Is he talking about sucking dicks again? That guy is gay.
BrockLanders421: brb gotta piss
BrockLanders421 has left the room.
Kaner6126: Lets fuck with his shit.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Dig. DOSE THE BBER.
BrockLanders421 has entered the room.
Kaner6126: uh like I was saying to you just now
JohnnyCashsAshes: Yes this conversation we are having is very interesting.
BrockLanders421: Hey this beer taste funny
Kaner6126: Miller tastes funny when its warm.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Yeah hurry and drink it we have places to be.
BrockLanders421: I can feel it creeping up uh I better uh go oh fuck
YOU HAVE LEFT UNDERGROUND PUB
Puking ensued.
The only thing I could think, standing there outside the Tastee Tower, looking down into the gutter as the astounded families watched me from the street and the day's nutrition/at least two pitchers of Miller Lite came swirling up from the battered bag I called my stomach, was this: "I should really slow down my drinking. I wish I'd made it over to that sewer grate."
Then, as I was looking down at everything I'd eaten that day, I could make out the distinct shape of a frenchfry. I said to myself: "I have to learn to chew my food a little better."
Then, back home to mouthwash and sidewalk in barefeet. I made mysterious disappearances each night from the house we were staying at, Kaner's house, or rather Kaner's family's house, to do my MYSTERIOUS DEEDS in PRIVACY. What were they? You can ask me, go ahead, but Louie will never know.
YOU HAVE ENTERED BOARDWALK
BrockLanders421: Oh god I have SO MUCH MISPLACED AGGRESSION because you guys made me THROW UP I fucking HATE YOU HATE HATE HATE YOU CUNTS
CopWhoLikes2FukKids: Hey you guys are too loud ok on my boardwalk ok
JohnnyCashsAshes: sorry sir
CopWhoLikes2FukKids: Youre lucky I dont put you in my policetruck ok
JohnnyCashsAshes: yes sir
CopWhoLikes2FukKids: Fucking move off of my boardwalk where my families are sleeping in my beds I own the beach and you ok why are you yelling on my boardwalk god I should just fistfuck all three of you Massachusetts potheads no one would miss you
JohnnyCashsAshes: this guy first sir he likes to fuck in the ass
BrockLanders421: Yeah. exactly. love to fuck in the ass. huge homo. me.
CopWhoLikes2FukKidsPartner: You fucks make me sick move along before you get to know what New Hampshire boot polish tastes like.
YOU HAVE LEFT BOARDWALK
A lot more things happened at Hampton Beach but I ran out of energy and steam. I just want to fucking go to sleep. But I also want to write. I wish I had energy to write; the inclination only creeps up on me late late when I want to crash. It pisses me off. Fuck my life.
Also: on the ride home, I broke off my side-view mirror when I hit a barrel on the highway like a shithead.
I really did have a great time at Hampton Beach. We bought a bunch of cheap comics. Maybe I'll try to write this entry again, when I feel better. But I probably won't.
YOU HAVE ENTERED CHAT ROOM KANER6126'S HAMPTON BEACH PLACE
BrockLanders421: *mumble* Thanks for having us over.
JohnnyCashsAshes: You sleep on the floor. (When I pass out drunk after you throw up on yourself I'll steal your blankets and pillows.)
Kaner6126: Hey, there's a used book store, lets go there.
BrockLanders421: Ok.
Kaner6126: But first, lets go to the boardwalk.
YOU HAVE LEFT CHAT ROOM KANER6126'S HAMPTON BEACH PLACE
I feel like we sort of intentionally wasted a lot of mornings. Like, two of the three. I went to the beach for awhile one of the days and I got sunburned as hell like I said. And there's still sand showing up, sand I carried back with me. I like the beach, but the water is what we might call 'cold as the devil's dick'. You're saying to yourself: But sean the devils dick is hot because hell is hot is it not and I say to you: my friend you are an asshole because I am given to understand that the deepest level of hell, that reserved for traitors, is icy as fuck and that is probably where the Devil is seeing as he betrayed his god and consequently himself ergo his dick is colder than a Don Rickles put-down.
YOU HAVE ENTERED CHAT ROOM DRUNKEN DISCO BOARDWALK HAVEN OF DAMNED REPUBLICANS
Kaner6126: I'll go buy more beer.
Kaner6126 has left the room.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Cigarette?
BrockLanders421: Sure, thanks.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Say it don't spray it.
JohnnyCashsAshes: God, you are gay. You gay homo put that cell-phone away
BrockLanders421: Don't feel like it.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Then I will burn it with my cigarette, you fucking faggot.
JohnnyCashsAshes: What's your damage, you fucking faggot?
BrockLanders421: Hey, look, baseball. What's this song called?
JohnnyCashsAshes: JESUS YOU ARE SO QUEER.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Hey, ladies, you don't have to worry about this guy unless he has a dick.
BrockLanders421: ... yeah, I like to suck dicks...
JohnnyCashsAshes: He likes to suck dicks.
JohnnyCashsAshes: You heard him.
JohnnyCashsAshes: With his own mouth.
BrockLanders421: The mouth I use to suck dicks with.
Kaner6126 has entered the room.
Kaner6126: Is he talking about sucking dicks again? That guy is gay.
BrockLanders421: brb gotta piss
BrockLanders421 has left the room.
Kaner6126: Lets fuck with his shit.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Dig. DOSE THE BBER.
BrockLanders421 has entered the room.
Kaner6126: uh like I was saying to you just now
JohnnyCashsAshes: Yes this conversation we are having is very interesting.
BrockLanders421: Hey this beer taste funny
Kaner6126: Miller tastes funny when its warm.
JohnnyCashsAshes: Yeah hurry and drink it we have places to be.
BrockLanders421: I can feel it creeping up uh I better uh go oh fuck
YOU HAVE LEFT UNDERGROUND PUB
Puking ensued.
The only thing I could think, standing there outside the Tastee Tower, looking down into the gutter as the astounded families watched me from the street and the day's nutrition/at least two pitchers of Miller Lite came swirling up from the battered bag I called my stomach, was this: "I should really slow down my drinking. I wish I'd made it over to that sewer grate."
Then, as I was looking down at everything I'd eaten that day, I could make out the distinct shape of a frenchfry. I said to myself: "I have to learn to chew my food a little better."
Then, back home to mouthwash and sidewalk in barefeet. I made mysterious disappearances each night from the house we were staying at, Kaner's house, or rather Kaner's family's house, to do my MYSTERIOUS DEEDS in PRIVACY. What were they? You can ask me, go ahead, but Louie will never know.
YOU HAVE ENTERED BOARDWALK
BrockLanders421: Oh god I have SO MUCH MISPLACED AGGRESSION because you guys made me THROW UP I fucking HATE YOU HATE HATE HATE YOU CUNTS
CopWhoLikes2FukKids: Hey you guys are too loud ok on my boardwalk ok
JohnnyCashsAshes: sorry sir
CopWhoLikes2FukKids: Youre lucky I dont put you in my policetruck ok
JohnnyCashsAshes: yes sir
CopWhoLikes2FukKids: Fucking move off of my boardwalk where my families are sleeping in my beds I own the beach and you ok why are you yelling on my boardwalk god I should just fistfuck all three of you Massachusetts potheads no one would miss you
JohnnyCashsAshes: this guy first sir he likes to fuck in the ass
BrockLanders421: Yeah. exactly. love to fuck in the ass. huge homo. me.
CopWhoLikes2FukKidsPartner: You fucks make me sick move along before you get to know what New Hampshire boot polish tastes like.
YOU HAVE LEFT BOARDWALK
A lot more things happened at Hampton Beach but I ran out of energy and steam. I just want to fucking go to sleep. But I also want to write. I wish I had energy to write; the inclination only creeps up on me late late when I want to crash. It pisses me off. Fuck my life.
Also: on the ride home, I broke off my side-view mirror when I hit a barrel on the highway like a shithead.
I really did have a great time at Hampton Beach. We bought a bunch of cheap comics. Maybe I'll try to write this entry again, when I feel better. But I probably won't.