Memories (1/?) (NC-17| Jack/Gwen)
Title: Memories (1/?)
Author: Doctor Jane Smith
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Characters/Pairings: Gwen/Jack, Martha, Tenth Doctor, Owen, Ianto, Tosh
Warnings: AR
A/N: Started early in season three, breaks from end of season three canon.
Summary: For everything else he’s been through, Jack still has those missing two years.
Jack was sleeping. He did that more now that he was back on the TARDIS, something about the vibration of the ship that lulled him. He was also dreaming.
Jack was dancing. His hand was on the back of a pretty girl, his hand folded around hers. Moonlight Serenade played as he spun her around the dance floor, listening to her pretty laugh. As the music stopped he could feel her start to pull away. "One more dance?" he wheeled. "Come on, Gwen, you can't be tried yet."
"My feet aren't used to these shoes, Jack," she complained, rubbing her feet before she leaned against him. "Maybe if you could carry me around the dance floor."
Jack laughed. "You're light enough, but I think we'd scandalize her ladyship over there," he teased.
"She needs to be scandalized," Gwen told him in a whisper. "Can I at least take them off first? Is that scandalizing?"
"Take them off, she already thinks you’re a wild thing," Jack teased her. "Once more dance then we'll go," he promised.
"I've been trying," Gwen said with another laugh and a glance over her shoulder. "And you picked out the dress."
"Which looks breathtaking on you," Jack promised Gwen. "It's your manners her lady ship takes issues with. That and I don't think she bought the bit about you being my ward."
"That's your fault," Gwen said decidedly. "And my manners are just fine. Mum always said they were decent enough. Passable at least." She giggled.
Jack laughed again, his smile wide. "Your mum never thought you'd be dinning with royalty," he pointed out.
"There's a lot of things I do that my mum wouldn't dream of me, and I don't think I'll be telling her any of it," Gwen said, hitting him lightly with one of the shoes she'd pulled off.
"That's my wild girl," Jack teased. "I'll just remind her lady ship that your parents let you run wild on the moor before I took you into my care."
When Jack opened his eyes, he felt momentarily out of place. He reached for a body that wasn't there and blinked again. "Right, TARDIS." He sat up and scrubbed his eyes. "Where the hell did that dream come from?"
He rubbed his eyes again. He could still feel how happy he'd felt and much fun dancing with Gwen had been. Jack scowled at the wall. He hadn't thought of Gwen in a few days, and he'd never danced with her. Shaking his head, Jack climbed from his bed and made his way to the shower. Maybe the TARDIS had been trying to help give him good dreams and combined some old memories; he'd have to ask the Doctor about it.
***
"No, I don't think she'd do that sort of thing," the Doctor told Jack. "Though your subconscious might."
"Normally I dream about people dying in gruesome ways - usually me- Doctor, so you can imagine why this dream was a bit... odd." Jack folded his arms over his chest. "But you’re probably right, sorry to bother you with it."
"No problem," the Doctor said, turning back to the console. "Jack, if you miss them..."
"Let them stew," Jack grumbled. "Serve them right. Don't miss them that much at all, not even Gwen."
The Doctor shrugged and gave Jack another glance. "Martha should be about in a bit, if you want a medical perspective."
Jack gave him a horrified look. "No thank you, really. I don't need to be poked at by your med student. I've seen how they work."
The Doctor laughed. "Maybe you should be glad you're having decent dreams, Jack. Even if they aren't exactly what you'd prefer."
"In other words don't look a gift lion in the mouth?" Jack asked.
"Exactly, don't look a gift dragon in the mouth," the Doctor agreed.
"Why would you ever want to look a dragon in the mouth?" Martha asked as she entered the room. "And I thought you were going to change out of the suit, Doctor. It’s hideous."
The Doctor looked at the ceiling. "The point is not looking it in the mouth, and this suit is very nice. Isn't the suit nice, Jack?"
"Its rubbish Doctor," Jack told him sadly. "I liked the leather jacket look personally."
"When he wear a leather jacket?" Martha asked curiously. "You would look better in jeans though Doctor. Right now you look like you've raided your da's closet."
"Traitors, the both of you," the Doctor grumbled. "Don't know why I let you on my ship."
"I've got an honest face?" Jack asked with a grin.
Martha laughed behind her hand.
"And a dishonest personality to go with it, if I remember," the Doctor said with a look at Jack.
Jack looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well. Think I'll take a stroll around the TARDIS, see where she takes me." Jack wandered off towards the door.
"Wasn't very nice of you," Martha pointed out.
The Doctor shrugged again. "Jack's a big boy, Martha."
***
There were tears streaming down her face, and she tried to stifle a sob as she buried her face in her hands.
"Gwen," Jack whispered, stroking his hands down her shoulders. "Please don't cry, it'll be all right." She looked so young, Jack thought. Barely old enough to be away from her mother in some societies.
"It was so awful," she said, sucking in a deep breath. "All of those people." She shook as she pulled her arms around herself.
"They had to die, Gwen," Jack tried to tell her. Tried to remember all the words they'd told him in his training. "Can't change history, and history says they died. By the time you were born they'd been dead for centuries."
"I know, but there were babies and... and..." She looked at the floor. Gwen shook her head. "It's not fair. It's just not fair."
Jack pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry."
"I'm being such a baby, I know," she said, leaning against him. "But I can still see it when I close my eyes."
He stroked her hair. "It doesn't make you a baby, just a compassionate human being," Jack told her softly. "I wanted to save them, Gwen, I did. But my hands are tied on so many things..."
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. "How can you stand to see it all?"
Jack tucked her against his chest and closed his eyes, his heart breaking for his brave little Gwen. "Sometimes I can't, but it's my job so I just... deal with it."
"I don't know how you can," she said quietly, still shaking. "It makes me feel like nothing's ever going to be alright again."
"It will be," he promised her.
When Jack woke his face was wet. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, thinking about how young Gwen had looked and trying to figure out why he'd dream about her crying.
***
“Jack," the Doctor called loudly, waving a hand over his face. "Hello. Wakey wakey, rise and shine. Anybody home in there?" He tapped on Jack's head.
"Does he always do this?" Martha asked. "Traveling with you doesn't cause brain damage, does it?"
"No, travelling with me does not cause brain damage," the Doctor said in exasperation.
Jack started as if he'd been shocked by something and looked around wide eyed. "Where is she?" he demanded hoarsely, grabbing the Doctor's shoulders.
"Martha?" he asked. "She's right over there. Pestering me as normal."
"Gwen," Jack demanded, eyes wide and not quite seeing the Doctor. "Where's Gwen?"
"Back on Earth, where you left her," the Doctor told Jack, looking at Martha like she could help.
Jack's fingers unclenched from the Doctor's coat, and he blinked a few times. "She's... right. Right." He put a hand to his head. "Sorry."
"You blanked out on us," Martha put in. "Do you often have hallucinations, because there's medication for that."
The Doctor stared into Jack's eyes as if trying to determine something. He finally shook his head. "Well, let's get on then. No reason to stay here all afternoon daydreaming."
Jack nodded, glad for the change of subject. "Good idea, Doctor."
Martha looked at them both with a frown then sighed and threw her hands up. "Men," she muttered.
***
"What was that?" the Doctor asked Jack as soon as Martha was out of the console room.
"I don't know," Jack said honestly, leaning against the railing. "One minute I was with you and Martha, the next I was somewhere on Earth... Cairo I think, looking for Gwen."
"I didn't know you two went to Egypt," the Doctor commented, leaning against the console.
"We… haven't." Jack looked up towards the ceiling. "Never even been to London with Gwen."
"Hmm." The Doctor tapped his mouth with his finger. "So you've had that one dream and now this?"
"Two dreams," Jack’s voice was barely a whisper. If he closed his eyes he knew he'd be able to call up her face, so young and anguished.
"Anything weird about these dreams, other than the obvious?" the Doctor asked.
Jack didn't say anything for a moment, listening to the sound of the TARDIS. "She's young, very young."
"Like six?" the Doctor frowned. "Eleven?"
"Seventeen… eighteen, younger than I ever knew her as," Jack told the Doctor.
"I don't know what to tell you," the Doctor told him honestly.
"So I'm losing my mind?" Jack laughed bitterly. "About time."
"I don't think you're losing your mind," the Doctor said slowly. "There's probably a reason, but I don't know that I could narrow it down for you. Martha might even be better at it."
"I don't really want to talk to Martha," Jack told him. "Mind sharing some of those possible reasons?"
"Subconscious repression about how you feel about leaving, eating spicy food before bed," the Doctor opened his mouth and looked at the ceiling. "You said once you were missing a couple of years of your life, could be resurfacing memories. I do suppose the TARDIS could be trying to help with the nightmares, but I highly doubt she'd mess with your head during the daytime when you're out with me."
"I don't think its resurfacing memories. They wouldn't have Gwen in them," Jack said, almost disappointed.
"You never know," the Doctor said with a shrug. "You said she was younger, but you're probably right, she'd remember. Even though you don't..." He frowned. "Did you keep eating that Thai food Martha leaves in the fridge?"
"After what she did last time? No thanks, I don't fancy pink hair again." Jack made a face.
He laughed. "Maybe you just need a good psychoanalyst. Ever heard of Freud?"
Jack groaned. "I don't want to sleep with my mother, and it’s hard to want to kill your father when you’ve never met the man."
"That's true enough," the Doctor agreed. "But I do think he'd be right about one thing about you, Jack."
"Which thing is that?" Jack asked the Doctor, managing a smile.
"Ultimately," the Doctor said, looking at Jack sideways. "It comes down to sexual urges."
"Don't look so smug," Jack grumbled. "And I do not have sexual urges towards Gwen. Especially not a teenaged Gwen."
"That's not exactly what I was saying," the Doctor said, giving Jack a pat on his shoulder. "I still say I think you want to go back."
"Don't think they'll want me back." Jack looked at the floor.
"They will," the Doctor told him. "Just might take awhile. Usually does. Can drop you off right after a few days have passed. That wouldn't require much forgiving, would it?"
"And you'll over shoot, and it'll have been a year," Jack sighed, then folded his arms. "Alright take me back then Doctor."
The Doctor watched Jack like he might change his mind. "We haven't fixed your..." he coughed, "problem yet."
Jack rolled his shoulders. "And I get the feeling you aren't going to be able to any time soon."
"That's probably true enough," the Doctor agreed. "That's around Martha's time period too. Maybe she'll want to go... take her exams or something." The Doctor sighed. "It'd be nice to have a free TARDIS again," he said to himself, turning.
"You'll be lonely within a month," Jack chuckled, wandering out of the console room.
"I'd find somebody," the Doctor said to himself, not noticing Jack had left. "Someone with manners."
***
Jack stepped off the TARDIS, wondering how many days off the Doctor had gotten him back. He took the back way in, not really wanting to alert anyone to his presence just yet. Hands in his coat pockets, he walked into the main room of the hub. "Miss me?"
"Bloody unfucking believable," Owen said, slamming his hands on the desk. "Bloody unfucking believable."
Tosh stared at Jack, her mouth frozen open, her fingers barely wrapped around the mug she was taking from Ianto.
"Jack," Ianto said in a mixture of anger and joy. The man looked like he couldn't decide if killing Jack or snogging him was the better option, Jack rather hoped he went for the latter.
“ Owen, why are you at my desk?" Jack asked raising an eyebrow.
"What do you mean your desk?" Owen moved from behind the desk. "What are you doing here, Jack?"
"I work here," Jack said slowly, as if Owen was a small child that needed it spelled out to him. "A few days and you already take over my desk?"
"A few days?" Ianto tailored Welsh accent sounded rough, and he punched Jack before he could react.
"You bastard. You goddamn bastard." He looked like he was going to take another swing before he turned around and fled the room.
Owen shook his head. "Try a few months, Jack," he practically spat Jack's name out. "A few months of the rift acting up more than usual, and you're just out there doing whatever the fuck you disappeared to do. Well go fucking disappear and do it again. We don't want you here."
Jack cursed the Doctor under his breath. "I didn't plan for quite that much time to pass while I was gone, Owen," he said evenly, never mind he hadn't planned on coming back. "I'm sure you all handled it fine."
Owen was about to say something else when Jack heard a familiar voice behind him. "I wasn't sure how hungry any of us were, so I just got..." Gwen almost dropped the boxes of pizza. "Jack," she said, barely above a whisper.
Turning to look at her, Jack's face held a hint of open longing for a fraction of a second. "Hey, Gwen."
She brushed past him coldly and sat the pizzas on what was apparently now Owen's desk. She turned to Owen. "Any luck on that last Weevil report?"
Owen nodded. "It's taken care of." He glared at Jack.
“You can't throw me out of my own Hub!" Jack protested. "Gwen, you’re not going to let him toss me out are you? It's not like I meant to be gone this long."
Owen crossed his arms. Gwen acted like she couldn't hear anyone talking to her as she sat at her desk and typed something on her computer.
"Tosh?" Jack asked almost meekly.
Tosh glared at him and turned back to her desk.
"See, you're not wanted here, so why don't you show yourself out before I try to have Janet do it," Owen told him.
"Owen," Jack said clenching his teeth.
“Did you really think it was going to be that easy, Jack?" Owen asked. "Did you really think you could fuck us all over and expect us to be on our knees begging you to take us back when you deemed to reshow yourself?"
"I did not fuck any of you over," Jack growled, leaning his hands on the desk. "I'm sorry I was gone so long, but I had to go."
"You didn't fucking have to go," Owen shouted. "You did fuck us over. It's been fucking hard without you," his voice was so loud, the silence that followed seemed heavy in contrast.
Jack smacked the palm of his hand on the desk. "Owen, the Doctor was best hope of fixing my 'problem'. I had to leave." He looked the other man in the eyes.
"So what?" Owen asked, keeping Jack's gaze. "Fuck you. And get out."
Jack stared an Owen a moment longer then straightened. "Fine, great. I'll just go to my nonexistent home," he muttered, wondering what Owen had done with his things.
"I'm sure you'll live," Owen said coldly.
"Can't help but do anything else, Owen," Jack sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Do you really want to keep running Torchwood Three, which I'm sure you've done a fine job of, Owen?"
Owen shuffled papers on the desk, obviously finished with talking to Jack.
Jack looked at Owen a last time and made his way towards the door. He didn't look at Gwen or Tosh and really hoped Ianto didn't try to get another punch in. Gwen's expression in that first moment reminded him too much of his dreams of a younger Gwen.
"Jack, wait," Gwen said suddenly before he reached the lift. She grabbed her jacket looking like she regretted what she was doing. She didn't look at Tosh or Owen as she made her way over to him. "I'll walk you out," she said, venturing a glance up at him.
Jack paused looking at her almost sadly. I came back for you, he told her silently. "Thank you." He gave her a small smile.
She didn't say anything to him until they were in the street. Gwen pressed her hands in her pockets. "Do you have a place to stay?" she asked.
"I'll be fine, Gwen," He looked up at the sky. I want to take you dancing. "I'm a big boy."
Gwen snorted. "Do you even have any money?"
He frowned, trying to remember. "I had a bank account at some point in 1960, but..."
She sighed. "Use my couch for a few days. Owen will calm down. He's just upset right now."
"Rhys won't be very happy about me on your couch, Gwen," Jack told her. "I'll manage, but thank you for worrying about me. You'd be perfectly justified in hating me."
"Rhys will have to understand," Gwen said. "And I don't hate you, Jack, I just..." She let her breath out and looked up at the sky. "I feel betrayed. Three months, and you didn't even say where you were going."
He touched the back of her hand. "I missed you."
Gwen looked over at him and didn't say anything.
Jack looked back up at the sky. It was blue and almost cloud free for once. He blinked and the sky was twinkingly with stars. A warm arm was around his waist. "Best view in Paris," he heard his own voice saying.
"It's so high." Gwen pushed her hair behind her ear with one hand, but the wind still blew it free. She shivered against him. "It's so cold." She wrinkled her nose at him. "How'd you know I wanted to see France?"
"Doesn't every girl?" Jack teased, then tapped her nose with his finger. "I also heard you sighing wistfully when that very charming young man was telling you about his stay in this fair city." He took off his coat to put it around her shoulders.
"Am I that obvious?" she asked with a sigh. "If I am, then tell me what I want right now." Gwen looked up at him expectantly.
"A sensible pair of shoes?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, then brushed her hair from her face. His finger lingered on her bottom lip.
She shook her head, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "Guess again."
Leaning his head down, Jack brushed his lips against hers. Her lips were cold but the breath pushing out between them was warm. His lips touched hers again, trailing the tip of his tongue over her lips.
Gwen had stopped breathing, her eyes closed. She took a step back and opened her eyes, smiling widely. "Now that's what's supposed to happen in Paris," she said, looking away from him and down at the lights of the city that shone in the darkness.
"It’s breathtaking," Jack whispered, not looking at the city at all.
Gwen shook Jack's shoulders hard. "Jack! Jack, are you alright?"
Jack inhaled sharply and found himself looking at an older Gwen. "Gwen," he croaked out. Then closed his eyes and breathed out again before opening them. "Sorry, happens sometimes." He smiled at her reassuringly.
"How often?" Gwen asked concerned. "Is this because of the thing with the...?"
"Unrelated," Jack told her with a shake of his head. "It's nothing really."
She looked doubtful as she kept her hand on his arm. "Come on, Jack. We'll get something to eat since I forgot to grab any of the pizza at the Hub."
"Owen might get mad at you for eating at the unpopular table," Jack told her, forcing a grin.
"I've eaten at the unpopular table before," Gwen said, unable to stop herself from returning his grin with a smile. "I think I can handle myself with Owen."
"Are you two still...?” Jack started to ask.
Gwen shook her head sharply. "I've been trying to work things out with Rhys ever since..." She looked sad for a moment. "Well, you were there."
He nodded. "Let's get you some food before you wither away from hunger. No need to make anyone more upset with me..."
"I'm not seventeen, Jack," Gwen said. "I actually remember to eat now, thank you."
Jack smiled almost failed. "I know you’re not seventeen."
Gwen raised an eyebrow at him before she laughed. "Read that off my profile, did you?"
"You're what? Twenty? Twenty two?" He teased.
“Flattery's not going to get you anywhere," Gwen said seriously, but she was grinning to herself as she said it.
Author: Doctor Jane Smith
Rating: NC-17 (overall)
Characters/Pairings: Gwen/Jack, Martha, Tenth Doctor, Owen, Ianto, Tosh
Warnings: AR
A/N: Started early in season three, breaks from end of season three canon.
Summary: For everything else he’s been through, Jack still has those missing two years.
Jack was sleeping. He did that more now that he was back on the TARDIS, something about the vibration of the ship that lulled him. He was also dreaming.
Jack was dancing. His hand was on the back of a pretty girl, his hand folded around hers. Moonlight Serenade played as he spun her around the dance floor, listening to her pretty laugh. As the music stopped he could feel her start to pull away. "One more dance?" he wheeled. "Come on, Gwen, you can't be tried yet."
"My feet aren't used to these shoes, Jack," she complained, rubbing her feet before she leaned against him. "Maybe if you could carry me around the dance floor."
Jack laughed. "You're light enough, but I think we'd scandalize her ladyship over there," he teased.
"She needs to be scandalized," Gwen told him in a whisper. "Can I at least take them off first? Is that scandalizing?"
"Take them off, she already thinks you’re a wild thing," Jack teased her. "Once more dance then we'll go," he promised.
"I've been trying," Gwen said with another laugh and a glance over her shoulder. "And you picked out the dress."
"Which looks breathtaking on you," Jack promised Gwen. "It's your manners her lady ship takes issues with. That and I don't think she bought the bit about you being my ward."
"That's your fault," Gwen said decidedly. "And my manners are just fine. Mum always said they were decent enough. Passable at least." She giggled.
Jack laughed again, his smile wide. "Your mum never thought you'd be dinning with royalty," he pointed out.
"There's a lot of things I do that my mum wouldn't dream of me, and I don't think I'll be telling her any of it," Gwen said, hitting him lightly with one of the shoes she'd pulled off.
"That's my wild girl," Jack teased. "I'll just remind her lady ship that your parents let you run wild on the moor before I took you into my care."
When Jack opened his eyes, he felt momentarily out of place. He reached for a body that wasn't there and blinked again. "Right, TARDIS." He sat up and scrubbed his eyes. "Where the hell did that dream come from?"
He rubbed his eyes again. He could still feel how happy he'd felt and much fun dancing with Gwen had been. Jack scowled at the wall. He hadn't thought of Gwen in a few days, and he'd never danced with her. Shaking his head, Jack climbed from his bed and made his way to the shower. Maybe the TARDIS had been trying to help give him good dreams and combined some old memories; he'd have to ask the Doctor about it.
***
"No, I don't think she'd do that sort of thing," the Doctor told Jack. "Though your subconscious might."
"Normally I dream about people dying in gruesome ways - usually me- Doctor, so you can imagine why this dream was a bit... odd." Jack folded his arms over his chest. "But you’re probably right, sorry to bother you with it."
"No problem," the Doctor said, turning back to the console. "Jack, if you miss them..."
"Let them stew," Jack grumbled. "Serve them right. Don't miss them that much at all, not even Gwen."
The Doctor shrugged and gave Jack another glance. "Martha should be about in a bit, if you want a medical perspective."
Jack gave him a horrified look. "No thank you, really. I don't need to be poked at by your med student. I've seen how they work."
The Doctor laughed. "Maybe you should be glad you're having decent dreams, Jack. Even if they aren't exactly what you'd prefer."
"In other words don't look a gift lion in the mouth?" Jack asked.
"Exactly, don't look a gift dragon in the mouth," the Doctor agreed.
"Why would you ever want to look a dragon in the mouth?" Martha asked as she entered the room. "And I thought you were going to change out of the suit, Doctor. It’s hideous."
The Doctor looked at the ceiling. "The point is not looking it in the mouth, and this suit is very nice. Isn't the suit nice, Jack?"
"Its rubbish Doctor," Jack told him sadly. "I liked the leather jacket look personally."
"When he wear a leather jacket?" Martha asked curiously. "You would look better in jeans though Doctor. Right now you look like you've raided your da's closet."
"Traitors, the both of you," the Doctor grumbled. "Don't know why I let you on my ship."
"I've got an honest face?" Jack asked with a grin.
Martha laughed behind her hand.
"And a dishonest personality to go with it, if I remember," the Doctor said with a look at Jack.
Jack looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well. Think I'll take a stroll around the TARDIS, see where she takes me." Jack wandered off towards the door.
"Wasn't very nice of you," Martha pointed out.
The Doctor shrugged again. "Jack's a big boy, Martha."
***
There were tears streaming down her face, and she tried to stifle a sob as she buried her face in her hands.
"Gwen," Jack whispered, stroking his hands down her shoulders. "Please don't cry, it'll be all right." She looked so young, Jack thought. Barely old enough to be away from her mother in some societies.
"It was so awful," she said, sucking in a deep breath. "All of those people." She shook as she pulled her arms around herself.
"They had to die, Gwen," Jack tried to tell her. Tried to remember all the words they'd told him in his training. "Can't change history, and history says they died. By the time you were born they'd been dead for centuries."
"I know, but there were babies and... and..." She looked at the floor. Gwen shook her head. "It's not fair. It's just not fair."
Jack pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry."
"I'm being such a baby, I know," she said, leaning against him. "But I can still see it when I close my eyes."
He stroked her hair. "It doesn't make you a baby, just a compassionate human being," Jack told her softly. "I wanted to save them, Gwen, I did. But my hands are tied on so many things..."
She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. "How can you stand to see it all?"
Jack tucked her against his chest and closed his eyes, his heart breaking for his brave little Gwen. "Sometimes I can't, but it's my job so I just... deal with it."
"I don't know how you can," she said quietly, still shaking. "It makes me feel like nothing's ever going to be alright again."
"It will be," he promised her.
When Jack woke his face was wet. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, thinking about how young Gwen had looked and trying to figure out why he'd dream about her crying.
***
“Jack," the Doctor called loudly, waving a hand over his face. "Hello. Wakey wakey, rise and shine. Anybody home in there?" He tapped on Jack's head.
"Does he always do this?" Martha asked. "Traveling with you doesn't cause brain damage, does it?"
"No, travelling with me does not cause brain damage," the Doctor said in exasperation.
Jack started as if he'd been shocked by something and looked around wide eyed. "Where is she?" he demanded hoarsely, grabbing the Doctor's shoulders.
"Martha?" he asked. "She's right over there. Pestering me as normal."
"Gwen," Jack demanded, eyes wide and not quite seeing the Doctor. "Where's Gwen?"
"Back on Earth, where you left her," the Doctor told Jack, looking at Martha like she could help.
Jack's fingers unclenched from the Doctor's coat, and he blinked a few times. "She's... right. Right." He put a hand to his head. "Sorry."
"You blanked out on us," Martha put in. "Do you often have hallucinations, because there's medication for that."
The Doctor stared into Jack's eyes as if trying to determine something. He finally shook his head. "Well, let's get on then. No reason to stay here all afternoon daydreaming."
Jack nodded, glad for the change of subject. "Good idea, Doctor."
Martha looked at them both with a frown then sighed and threw her hands up. "Men," she muttered.
***
"What was that?" the Doctor asked Jack as soon as Martha was out of the console room.
"I don't know," Jack said honestly, leaning against the railing. "One minute I was with you and Martha, the next I was somewhere on Earth... Cairo I think, looking for Gwen."
"I didn't know you two went to Egypt," the Doctor commented, leaning against the console.
"We… haven't." Jack looked up towards the ceiling. "Never even been to London with Gwen."
"Hmm." The Doctor tapped his mouth with his finger. "So you've had that one dream and now this?"
"Two dreams," Jack’s voice was barely a whisper. If he closed his eyes he knew he'd be able to call up her face, so young and anguished.
"Anything weird about these dreams, other than the obvious?" the Doctor asked.
Jack didn't say anything for a moment, listening to the sound of the TARDIS. "She's young, very young."
"Like six?" the Doctor frowned. "Eleven?"
"Seventeen… eighteen, younger than I ever knew her as," Jack told the Doctor.
"I don't know what to tell you," the Doctor told him honestly.
"So I'm losing my mind?" Jack laughed bitterly. "About time."
"I don't think you're losing your mind," the Doctor said slowly. "There's probably a reason, but I don't know that I could narrow it down for you. Martha might even be better at it."
"I don't really want to talk to Martha," Jack told him. "Mind sharing some of those possible reasons?"
"Subconscious repression about how you feel about leaving, eating spicy food before bed," the Doctor opened his mouth and looked at the ceiling. "You said once you were missing a couple of years of your life, could be resurfacing memories. I do suppose the TARDIS could be trying to help with the nightmares, but I highly doubt she'd mess with your head during the daytime when you're out with me."
"I don't think its resurfacing memories. They wouldn't have Gwen in them," Jack said, almost disappointed.
"You never know," the Doctor said with a shrug. "You said she was younger, but you're probably right, she'd remember. Even though you don't..." He frowned. "Did you keep eating that Thai food Martha leaves in the fridge?"
"After what she did last time? No thanks, I don't fancy pink hair again." Jack made a face.
He laughed. "Maybe you just need a good psychoanalyst. Ever heard of Freud?"
Jack groaned. "I don't want to sleep with my mother, and it’s hard to want to kill your father when you’ve never met the man."
"That's true enough," the Doctor agreed. "But I do think he'd be right about one thing about you, Jack."
"Which thing is that?" Jack asked the Doctor, managing a smile.
"Ultimately," the Doctor said, looking at Jack sideways. "It comes down to sexual urges."
"Don't look so smug," Jack grumbled. "And I do not have sexual urges towards Gwen. Especially not a teenaged Gwen."
"That's not exactly what I was saying," the Doctor said, giving Jack a pat on his shoulder. "I still say I think you want to go back."
"Don't think they'll want me back." Jack looked at the floor.
"They will," the Doctor told him. "Just might take awhile. Usually does. Can drop you off right after a few days have passed. That wouldn't require much forgiving, would it?"
"And you'll over shoot, and it'll have been a year," Jack sighed, then folded his arms. "Alright take me back then Doctor."
The Doctor watched Jack like he might change his mind. "We haven't fixed your..." he coughed, "problem yet."
Jack rolled his shoulders. "And I get the feeling you aren't going to be able to any time soon."
"That's probably true enough," the Doctor agreed. "That's around Martha's time period too. Maybe she'll want to go... take her exams or something." The Doctor sighed. "It'd be nice to have a free TARDIS again," he said to himself, turning.
"You'll be lonely within a month," Jack chuckled, wandering out of the console room.
"I'd find somebody," the Doctor said to himself, not noticing Jack had left. "Someone with manners."
***
Jack stepped off the TARDIS, wondering how many days off the Doctor had gotten him back. He took the back way in, not really wanting to alert anyone to his presence just yet. Hands in his coat pockets, he walked into the main room of the hub. "Miss me?"
"Bloody unfucking believable," Owen said, slamming his hands on the desk. "Bloody unfucking believable."
Tosh stared at Jack, her mouth frozen open, her fingers barely wrapped around the mug she was taking from Ianto.
"Jack," Ianto said in a mixture of anger and joy. The man looked like he couldn't decide if killing Jack or snogging him was the better option, Jack rather hoped he went for the latter.
“ Owen, why are you at my desk?" Jack asked raising an eyebrow.
"What do you mean your desk?" Owen moved from behind the desk. "What are you doing here, Jack?"
"I work here," Jack said slowly, as if Owen was a small child that needed it spelled out to him. "A few days and you already take over my desk?"
"A few days?" Ianto tailored Welsh accent sounded rough, and he punched Jack before he could react.
"You bastard. You goddamn bastard." He looked like he was going to take another swing before he turned around and fled the room.
Owen shook his head. "Try a few months, Jack," he practically spat Jack's name out. "A few months of the rift acting up more than usual, and you're just out there doing whatever the fuck you disappeared to do. Well go fucking disappear and do it again. We don't want you here."
Jack cursed the Doctor under his breath. "I didn't plan for quite that much time to pass while I was gone, Owen," he said evenly, never mind he hadn't planned on coming back. "I'm sure you all handled it fine."
Owen was about to say something else when Jack heard a familiar voice behind him. "I wasn't sure how hungry any of us were, so I just got..." Gwen almost dropped the boxes of pizza. "Jack," she said, barely above a whisper.
Turning to look at her, Jack's face held a hint of open longing for a fraction of a second. "Hey, Gwen."
She brushed past him coldly and sat the pizzas on what was apparently now Owen's desk. She turned to Owen. "Any luck on that last Weevil report?"
Owen nodded. "It's taken care of." He glared at Jack.
“You can't throw me out of my own Hub!" Jack protested. "Gwen, you’re not going to let him toss me out are you? It's not like I meant to be gone this long."
Owen crossed his arms. Gwen acted like she couldn't hear anyone talking to her as she sat at her desk and typed something on her computer.
"Tosh?" Jack asked almost meekly.
Tosh glared at him and turned back to her desk.
"See, you're not wanted here, so why don't you show yourself out before I try to have Janet do it," Owen told him.
"Owen," Jack said clenching his teeth.
“Did you really think it was going to be that easy, Jack?" Owen asked. "Did you really think you could fuck us all over and expect us to be on our knees begging you to take us back when you deemed to reshow yourself?"
"I did not fuck any of you over," Jack growled, leaning his hands on the desk. "I'm sorry I was gone so long, but I had to go."
"You didn't fucking have to go," Owen shouted. "You did fuck us over. It's been fucking hard without you," his voice was so loud, the silence that followed seemed heavy in contrast.
Jack smacked the palm of his hand on the desk. "Owen, the Doctor was best hope of fixing my 'problem'. I had to leave." He looked the other man in the eyes.
"So what?" Owen asked, keeping Jack's gaze. "Fuck you. And get out."
Jack stared an Owen a moment longer then straightened. "Fine, great. I'll just go to my nonexistent home," he muttered, wondering what Owen had done with his things.
"I'm sure you'll live," Owen said coldly.
"Can't help but do anything else, Owen," Jack sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Do you really want to keep running Torchwood Three, which I'm sure you've done a fine job of, Owen?"
Owen shuffled papers on the desk, obviously finished with talking to Jack.
Jack looked at Owen a last time and made his way towards the door. He didn't look at Gwen or Tosh and really hoped Ianto didn't try to get another punch in. Gwen's expression in that first moment reminded him too much of his dreams of a younger Gwen.
"Jack, wait," Gwen said suddenly before he reached the lift. She grabbed her jacket looking like she regretted what she was doing. She didn't look at Tosh or Owen as she made her way over to him. "I'll walk you out," she said, venturing a glance up at him.
Jack paused looking at her almost sadly. I came back for you, he told her silently. "Thank you." He gave her a small smile.
She didn't say anything to him until they were in the street. Gwen pressed her hands in her pockets. "Do you have a place to stay?" she asked.
"I'll be fine, Gwen," He looked up at the sky. I want to take you dancing. "I'm a big boy."
Gwen snorted. "Do you even have any money?"
He frowned, trying to remember. "I had a bank account at some point in 1960, but..."
She sighed. "Use my couch for a few days. Owen will calm down. He's just upset right now."
"Rhys won't be very happy about me on your couch, Gwen," Jack told her. "I'll manage, but thank you for worrying about me. You'd be perfectly justified in hating me."
"Rhys will have to understand," Gwen said. "And I don't hate you, Jack, I just..." She let her breath out and looked up at the sky. "I feel betrayed. Three months, and you didn't even say where you were going."
He touched the back of her hand. "I missed you."
Gwen looked over at him and didn't say anything.
Jack looked back up at the sky. It was blue and almost cloud free for once. He blinked and the sky was twinkingly with stars. A warm arm was around his waist. "Best view in Paris," he heard his own voice saying.
"It's so high." Gwen pushed her hair behind her ear with one hand, but the wind still blew it free. She shivered against him. "It's so cold." She wrinkled her nose at him. "How'd you know I wanted to see France?"
"Doesn't every girl?" Jack teased, then tapped her nose with his finger. "I also heard you sighing wistfully when that very charming young man was telling you about his stay in this fair city." He took off his coat to put it around her shoulders.
"Am I that obvious?" she asked with a sigh. "If I am, then tell me what I want right now." Gwen looked up at him expectantly.
"A sensible pair of shoes?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, then brushed her hair from her face. His finger lingered on her bottom lip.
She shook her head, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "Guess again."
Leaning his head down, Jack brushed his lips against hers. Her lips were cold but the breath pushing out between them was warm. His lips touched hers again, trailing the tip of his tongue over her lips.
Gwen had stopped breathing, her eyes closed. She took a step back and opened her eyes, smiling widely. "Now that's what's supposed to happen in Paris," she said, looking away from him and down at the lights of the city that shone in the darkness.
"It’s breathtaking," Jack whispered, not looking at the city at all.
Gwen shook Jack's shoulders hard. "Jack! Jack, are you alright?"
Jack inhaled sharply and found himself looking at an older Gwen. "Gwen," he croaked out. Then closed his eyes and breathed out again before opening them. "Sorry, happens sometimes." He smiled at her reassuringly.
"How often?" Gwen asked concerned. "Is this because of the thing with the...?"
"Unrelated," Jack told her with a shake of his head. "It's nothing really."
She looked doubtful as she kept her hand on his arm. "Come on, Jack. We'll get something to eat since I forgot to grab any of the pizza at the Hub."
"Owen might get mad at you for eating at the unpopular table," Jack told her, forcing a grin.
"I've eaten at the unpopular table before," Gwen said, unable to stop herself from returning his grin with a smile. "I think I can handle myself with Owen."
"Are you two still...?” Jack started to ask.
Gwen shook her head sharply. "I've been trying to work things out with Rhys ever since..." She looked sad for a moment. "Well, you were there."
He nodded. "Let's get you some food before you wither away from hunger. No need to make anyone more upset with me..."
"I'm not seventeen, Jack," Gwen said. "I actually remember to eat now, thank you."
Jack smiled almost failed. "I know you’re not seventeen."
Gwen raised an eyebrow at him before she laughed. "Read that off my profile, did you?"
"You're what? Twenty? Twenty two?" He teased.
“Flattery's not going to get you anywhere," Gwen said seriously, but she was grinning to herself as she said it.