HMD/Contact me
I cannot be Doc Scratch. That's just how it works. But I can damn well try and, er, I guess that's what I'm doing. If you have any comments, crit, or just want to say something to me or whatever floats your boat, drop a word here! All comments are screened and I don't bite, I promise.
Character: Doc Scratch
Fandom: Homestuck
Character Notes:
History:
On another universe, there once was a curious little planet called Alternia. The history of Doc Scratch's life is intimately connected to this planet, as he is its first guardian, an entity tasked with the protection and preparation of a planet for its ultimate purpose: playing Sburb. Or Sgrub, in Alternia's case. But let's not delve into the mechanics of that game or else we'll be here forever. Let's just say that the ultimate purpose of Sburb is to create a new universe, and we'll get back to that in a moment.
Scratch has another purpose, you see. His loyalty lies with the fearsome demon known as Lord English, a universe-devouring entity who Scratch is tasked to summon (and also leader of a gang called the Felt). Several instances of himself have been born on countless universes and he has always succeeded in this role. That may have something to do with the fact that any universe that Lord English has marked for entry will (and will have) necessarily, unavoidably receive(d) him, thanks to the harsh determinism that rules Homestuck paradox space.
Now that these two paragraphs have confused you, let's delve into that first guardian business. These beings are born of a combination of genetic code (which grants them near-omnipotence) and some sort of host (which, if intelligent, will grant them near-omniscience as well). Doc Scratch is essentially a hybrid of Incredibly Creepy Puppet Lil' Cal and a magic, all-knowing cue ball. It's all very simple, isn't it? Yes, of course it is. Anyway, as we'll see, his personality and actions are greatly explained by this.
Scratch is, indeed, the cueball of Homestuck (in keeping with the entire Felt's billiards theme). He has fulfilled and will fulfill both of his purposes, never getting his hands dirty, but instead nudging people into the right places at the right times. He is responsible for putting into motion many important events in canon, such as Kanaya's early awakening on Prospit, Vriska and Aradia's feud, Rose's turn for the grimdark and, notably, the extremely violent culture of Alternia, necessary to prepare the planet for victory at Sgrub.
... Then, of course, things went miserably wrong at the end of the trolls' session anyway, but that was none of Scratch's business.
The full extent of Scratch's manipulation may never be known - heck, there are even more canon examples than that. He recruited the exiled Black Queen into the Felt, turning her into Snowman (a necessary ruse for the death of the universe later, as it turns out), he groomed a young girl into Lord English's servitude so that she would later (and technically earlier) wreck havoc through Alternia's history as an infamous Demoness and, as far as currently known, is also suppposed to give Her Imperial Condescendence - the troll empress - a new task. His influence is everywhere to be seen and it's very likely that there is more yet to come. And one must bear in mind that this is only one instance of himself - one of many successful ones, according to him. It's not clear if every instance is exactly him reborn or simply another first guardian working for Lord English, but in either case, it's undeniably impressive.
Anyhow, once all the pieces are in place and he has done everything else he must do - including, of course, the very much essential task of paradoxically ensuring his own existence - only one thing remains: to wait for the death of the Green Sun, his power source, an event which will bring him his death and Lord English's arrival into the universe.
Not that he wasn't already there.
Personality:
Let's go back to two of Doc Scratch's "components", so to speak: the magic cue ball and Lil' Cal, the puppet. Together, they make up a good part of his personality. The significance of the former was explained above; instead of taking direct action, Scratch prefers to lead his pawns where he wants them to be with subtle manipulation (subtle in the literal sense, even - his preferred text colour is white). Plus, since he's a magical, all-knowing cueball, he's also gifted with near infinite knowledge. And dear God, does he like reminding everyone of that. He is smug and often condescending, due to his vast powers. To be fair, he IS genuinely powerful and (almost) omniscient, but that only justifies that kind of behaviour if you subscribe to the Sherlock Holmes/Gregory House school of thought.
The traits he inherited from Lil' Cal only make him more unpleasant, at least in the opinion of, well, just about every character who's talked to him in canon. Scratch can be a joker and, very sparingly, a prankster. He thinks his sense of humour is flawless, naturally - most tend to disagree. He often punctuates his punchlines with a laugh much like his puppet daddy's.
And on the subject of jokes, one more peculiarity: Scratch claims to never lie. Jokes and pranks are an exception, as temporary lies. The truth is that he does actually lie - by omission. Though deliberate, he will deny it and even say that lies of omission aren't actually lies. And to his credit, he is very good at cherry-picking the truth.
But we're not done with the Cal parallels yet. There is one more particularly unpleasant trait they share, which is being unbelievably creepy. Scratch doesn't do it deliberately (whether Cal does or not is up for debate, he's just that freaking creepy), but his fondness for young girls has been the subject of much unsettling humour in both the comic and the fandom. And, of course, there's this: Doc Scratch is merely the puppet of Lord English. He is also literally built like a puppet, biologically speaking, but, uh, this is supposed to be a personality section.
Well, that's quite an assortment of unpleasant traits. However, there is one significant counterweight to them: Doc Scratch is a charming gentleman. Er, the fact that he brags about it almost makes it a null point, but really, he is a charismatic man (... puppet... ball)! And an excellent host, above all, especially to the MSPA readers. He is perfectly calm and collected as well - except on the rare occasion where he has been one-upped or things have veered out of his control and he flips the fuck out. Thankfully, such occasions are very fleeting and barely existent.
Doc Scratch can, in fact, be so pleasant that one might forget he is a villain. Then you remember he shows no hint of sincere morality within him and you shudder a little.
Other: Oh God I will never be this classy.
Additional Links: The Magic Cueball, Lil' Cal and Scratch himself.
Character: Doc Scratch
Fandom: Homestuck
Character Notes:
History:
On another universe, there once was a curious little planet called Alternia. The history of Doc Scratch's life is intimately connected to this planet, as he is its first guardian, an entity tasked with the protection and preparation of a planet for its ultimate purpose: playing Sburb. Or Sgrub, in Alternia's case. But let's not delve into the mechanics of that game or else we'll be here forever. Let's just say that the ultimate purpose of Sburb is to create a new universe, and we'll get back to that in a moment.
Scratch has another purpose, you see. His loyalty lies with the fearsome demon known as Lord English, a universe-devouring entity who Scratch is tasked to summon (and also leader of a gang called the Felt). Several instances of himself have been born on countless universes and he has always succeeded in this role. That may have something to do with the fact that any universe that Lord English has marked for entry will (and will have) necessarily, unavoidably receive(d) him, thanks to the harsh determinism that rules Homestuck paradox space.
Now that these two paragraphs have confused you, let's delve into that first guardian business. These beings are born of a combination of genetic code (which grants them near-omnipotence) and some sort of host (which, if intelligent, will grant them near-omniscience as well). Doc Scratch is essentially a hybrid of Incredibly Creepy Puppet Lil' Cal and a magic, all-knowing cue ball. It's all very simple, isn't it? Yes, of course it is. Anyway, as we'll see, his personality and actions are greatly explained by this.
Scratch is, indeed, the cueball of Homestuck (in keeping with the entire Felt's billiards theme). He has fulfilled and will fulfill both of his purposes, never getting his hands dirty, but instead nudging people into the right places at the right times. He is responsible for putting into motion many important events in canon, such as Kanaya's early awakening on Prospit, Vriska and Aradia's feud, Rose's turn for the grimdark and, notably, the extremely violent culture of Alternia, necessary to prepare the planet for victory at Sgrub.
... Then, of course, things went miserably wrong at the end of the trolls' session anyway, but that was none of Scratch's business.
The full extent of Scratch's manipulation may never be known - heck, there are even more canon examples than that. He recruited the exiled Black Queen into the Felt, turning her into Snowman (a necessary ruse for the death of the universe later, as it turns out), he groomed a young girl into Lord English's servitude so that she would later (and technically earlier) wreck havoc through Alternia's history as an infamous Demoness and, as far as currently known, is also suppposed to give Her Imperial Condescendence - the troll empress - a new task. His influence is everywhere to be seen and it's very likely that there is more yet to come. And one must bear in mind that this is only one instance of himself - one of many successful ones, according to him. It's not clear if every instance is exactly him reborn or simply another first guardian working for Lord English, but in either case, it's undeniably impressive.
Anyhow, once all the pieces are in place and he has done everything else he must do - including, of course, the very much essential task of paradoxically ensuring his own existence - only one thing remains: to wait for the death of the Green Sun, his power source, an event which will bring him his death and Lord English's arrival into the universe.
Not that he wasn't already there.
Personality:
Let's go back to two of Doc Scratch's "components", so to speak: the magic cue ball and Lil' Cal, the puppet. Together, they make up a good part of his personality. The significance of the former was explained above; instead of taking direct action, Scratch prefers to lead his pawns where he wants them to be with subtle manipulation (subtle in the literal sense, even - his preferred text colour is white). Plus, since he's a magical, all-knowing cueball, he's also gifted with near infinite knowledge. And dear God, does he like reminding everyone of that. He is smug and often condescending, due to his vast powers. To be fair, he IS genuinely powerful and (almost) omniscient, but that only justifies that kind of behaviour if you subscribe to the Sherlock Holmes/Gregory House school of thought.
The traits he inherited from Lil' Cal only make him more unpleasant, at least in the opinion of, well, just about every character who's talked to him in canon. Scratch can be a joker and, very sparingly, a prankster. He thinks his sense of humour is flawless, naturally - most tend to disagree. He often punctuates his punchlines with a laugh much like his puppet daddy's.
And on the subject of jokes, one more peculiarity: Scratch claims to never lie. Jokes and pranks are an exception, as temporary lies. The truth is that he does actually lie - by omission. Though deliberate, he will deny it and even say that lies of omission aren't actually lies. And to his credit, he is very good at cherry-picking the truth.
But we're not done with the Cal parallels yet. There is one more particularly unpleasant trait they share, which is being unbelievably creepy. Scratch doesn't do it deliberately (whether Cal does or not is up for debate, he's just that freaking creepy), but his fondness for young girls has been the subject of much unsettling humour in both the comic and the fandom. And, of course, there's this: Doc Scratch is merely the puppet of Lord English. He is also literally built like a puppet, biologically speaking, but, uh, this is supposed to be a personality section.
Well, that's quite an assortment of unpleasant traits. However, there is one significant counterweight to them: Doc Scratch is a charming gentleman. Er, the fact that he brags about it almost makes it a null point, but really, he is a charismatic man (... puppet... ball)! And an excellent host, above all, especially to the MSPA readers. He is perfectly calm and collected as well - except on the rare occasion where he has been one-upped or things have veered out of his control and he flips the fuck out. Thankfully, such occasions are very fleeting and barely existent.
Doc Scratch can, in fact, be so pleasant that one might forget he is a villain. Then you remember he shows no hint of sincere morality within him and you shudder a little.
Other: Oh God I will never be this classy.
Additional Links: The Magic Cueball, Lil' Cal and Scratch himself.