roller coastin'
so yea, my day was up and down like you wouldnt believe, so it started out alright, until i found out i may not be able to go to china because a) when they were going to give me a name tag i told them i already had a chinese name, b) i said i hated cities and c) i said fuck. so yea it kinda sucks getting your dreams crushed for stupid reasons, then i was hanging out with colin and it was FREAKIN AWESOME!! we wandered around exploring brattleboro for like 2 hours, then spent an hour completing another mission from god, (well we THINK its god, not totally sure, could be satan... no im serious) and so we climbed up this mountain, and at one point while climbing up this cliff i fell off and down like 10-15 feet, and didnt get hurt at all. Of course this is all without anything resembling clothes good for climbing around in 2 feet of snow, so we got cold as hell, but it was awesome, like ridiculously amazing. Then i had work, which sucked and i hate my job. Then on the way home i told my mom about the china thing and she says "sometimes opinions can color you, and sometimes you dont want to be colored." thats about when i snapped, i thought to myself "how fucked up is the world, if my own mother tells me that i shouldnt be myself." and... well... to be quite honest i cried, for a long time. I cried because on martin luther king day i heard a guy calling him a nigger, i cried because theres a homeless guy in town, with scabby hands living on the streets, while assholes waste money like its nothing, i cried because we live in a world where people DO have to hide their "colors". I haden't cried in monthes... oh i had been upset, but i hadent cried... but tonight i sobbed, and afterward i felt better, well not so much better but relieved. We live in a pretty fucked up world, its a good thing i totally rocked the day or i might still be upset. peace