The crap you remember...
Hey C, ya want sloppy seconds?
I've nothing really worth discussing, but figured I might as well make people laugh (and post so they know I'm alive). I remember when we first got to AIT, before we went nuts. We still had that Basic Training Wrath-of-God attitude toward our Drill Sergeants, so we were on our best behavior waiting for classes to begin, all the while spending days on dull details before returning to 80-man barracks to sleep. So we almost immediately searched the whole barracks to make sure we wouldn't get busted for anything the previous class smuggled in there.
Now, there was one...strange...guy in our company. He was easily 6'6", bald, and with a goofy sort of look. He had the oddest habit of dressing in a road guard's vest (like those highway workers wear), his underwear, kevlar helmet, combat boots, and a conical flashlight. I never knew why he did this, but it was something he'd done since Basic according to people who went with him. The outfit was called the "Super-Gay Road Guard," though I must apologize to any homosexuals offended by being compared to something so dumb.
Super-Gay woke me up with a small crowd gathered around my bed. I saw the crowd and knew something was up even before I realized he was dressed like that. I sat up and there he was, in that outfit, asking me, "Hey, C, you want sloppy seconds?" I looked at him confused, then realized he had worked the flashlight through his shorts and was using it to...er...violate...an inflatable sheep that had an actual orifice. I looked up at him, then the crowd of people waiting to see my reaction, then said, "S, you gotta be from Oklahoma." I went back to sleep.
Turns out the sheep was called "Loving Lamb" and had been found in the ceiling tiles. Worse, someone found it for sale in downtown San Antonio and bought another one. We turned the first one in to the Drill Sergeant, who bust out laughing and had us put it on the Senior Drill Sergeant's desk without telling any of the other DS's or company officers. I bet that raised a few strange questions. :)
I've nothing really worth discussing, but figured I might as well make people laugh (and post so they know I'm alive). I remember when we first got to AIT, before we went nuts. We still had that Basic Training Wrath-of-God attitude toward our Drill Sergeants, so we were on our best behavior waiting for classes to begin, all the while spending days on dull details before returning to 80-man barracks to sleep. So we almost immediately searched the whole barracks to make sure we wouldn't get busted for anything the previous class smuggled in there.
Now, there was one...strange...guy in our company. He was easily 6'6", bald, and with a goofy sort of look. He had the oddest habit of dressing in a road guard's vest (like those highway workers wear), his underwear, kevlar helmet, combat boots, and a conical flashlight. I never knew why he did this, but it was something he'd done since Basic according to people who went with him. The outfit was called the "Super-Gay Road Guard," though I must apologize to any homosexuals offended by being compared to something so dumb.
Super-Gay woke me up with a small crowd gathered around my bed. I saw the crowd and knew something was up even before I realized he was dressed like that. I sat up and there he was, in that outfit, asking me, "Hey, C, you want sloppy seconds?" I looked at him confused, then realized he had worked the flashlight through his shorts and was using it to...er...violate...an inflatable sheep that had an actual orifice. I looked up at him, then the crowd of people waiting to see my reaction, then said, "S, you gotta be from Oklahoma." I went back to sleep.
Turns out the sheep was called "Loving Lamb" and had been found in the ceiling tiles. Worse, someone found it for sale in downtown San Antonio and bought another one. We turned the first one in to the Drill Sergeant, who bust out laughing and had us put it on the Senior Drill Sergeant's desk without telling any of the other DS's or company officers. I bet that raised a few strange questions. :)