The Simple Truth About Love, by Bradley Trevor Grieve
The Anatomy of a Kiss
The fundamental facial mechanics of a kiss are very well known. Indeed, today the prepatory "pucker" is universally accepted. More than one trillion kisses have been successfully, or at least somewhat sucessfully, performed using this simple technique.
Amazingly, no two kisses are exactly alike.... EVER
The intensity of kissing ranges from a peck on the cheek to the long wet, passionate, slightly sideways kiss on the lips, and finally, "Hello Mr. Tongue!"
The reactions from both parties at the conclusion are another variable of note. These can be an uncomfortable and unspoken "What the hell was that all about?" Or, ideally, a violent post-smooch rapture that leaves you tingling with goose pimples, feeling as if every atom of your conscious being is inflated with helium and you are in danger of floating off into the stratoshpere. In case you were wondering, this little entry is about the love that inspires such kisses--alove that sends your heart soaring from here to eternity.
The Simple Truthe About Love
Falling in love is just like kissing--no two people do it the same way. A legendary romance may begin with the briefest of beautiful encounters, or a casual introduction by a mutual friend, who is then completely forgotten in all the excitement.
You might feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you turn to meet the piercing gaze of an enchanting stranger across a crowded room, across a parking lot, a bowling alley, or an all you can eat buffet. The location really isn't all that important.
Often you are just sitting there, minding your own business, and then WHAM! Love suddenly hits you out of the blue, and your pulse is off and running. That such a fleeting chance encounter can result in so many overwhelming feelings tells us a lot about the power of love.
Like the sun or a fiendishly expensive designer fragrance, love is an intoxicating force that draws all living creatures (except for telephone salespeople who call you at home and maybe aphids--we don't know about them for sure).
Love inspires us to to great, beautiful, terrible things and a bunch of weird and stupid stuff (all of which, curiously enough, can be found in Country and Western music).That's because when we fall in love, our reason and perspective become distorted, and we discover the lovers' paradox. Suddenly, we have clear purpose, but we suffer overwhelming indecision.
The affectionate attention we receive means we feel mor self-affirmed and radiant than ever before, and yet we are sick with self-doubt and insecurity.
Personal grooming also takes on a fresh energy, sometimes to the point where we change virtually everything about our appearance that turned our admirer's head in the first place.
Though it is wonderful in so many ways, falling in love can be a very unsettling experience. Poetic Torment churns your soul and keeps you from sleeping. Whenever you close your eyes, the object of your desire floats across a dreamscape toward your waiting lips.
In fact, the only time we really wake up to reality is when the new lover is actually approaching. Unfortunately, at that exact moment your molecular structure turns to water. You try to stay calm and composed, endeavouring to present a picture of charisma and confidence.
You Fail.
All those breathless secrets in your heart that rehearsed a thousand times are now ready to share gently with a tender ear, you suddenly blurt out, sounding like a race caller from an ancient civilisation.
The key word is patience.
From a perfectly mathematical point of view, with billions of people on the planet, the romantic numbers are always on your side. There is definitely someone out there who is perfect for each of us, so it makes no sense to grab the first cute butt that walks by. Don't be afraid to slow things down.
Really think about your feelings. Run through a few emotional scenarios in your mind and see how they look and feel. There's a reason we feel so shy when we first meet someone special.both people are seriously checking each other out, looking for and revealing some very personal information.
The process is all about trust. Slowly, we get closer and closer. Some things just shouldn't be rushed, and love is always worth waiting for. In its early stages, love is beyond wonderful. Each moment together feels like a passionate embrace in a magic forest. You gallop tirelessly in perpetual and blessed sunshine, your feet a few inches above the ground. In other words, our perceptions of ourselves and our beloved can become a touch idealised, to say the least.
We tend to forget that Romeo and Juliet did not, in actual fact, end all that well.
The truth is that love is always beautiful, and it may even feel perfect. But it can never be so, not all the time. Falling in love is an exquisite but complex coming together of two individuals, and a beautiful, dynamic living relationship always has some ups and downs. Imagine crossing an emotional ballet with a washing machine.
The irritating thing about falling in love is that you don't suddenly get transported to the mythical Kingdom of Coupledom, where everything is designed to make your relationship perfect.Two independantly minded people usually have similar but always slightly different needs, and the differences keep us on our toes.
Surprises keep your love exciting and fresh, but sometimes it seems as if you both came from different planets. One person is up when the other is down, one wants to canoodle; the other wants te be left alone.
Even the most loving couples can't possibly agree on absolutley everything. Take a simple misunderstanding, combine it with a little poor communication, then add some emotional baggage from previous relationships, and the romance starts to flounder.
A civil conversation can break down because of a few careless or caustic remarks. The salvo is then returned with interest, and KA-BOOM! Open hostilities are declared. Sometimes the dark, angry cloud evaporates as quickly as it is built up, and all is forgiven and forgotten.
And sometimes it doesn't.
In which case, heartache is a certainty, and tragically, two people who seemed so right for each other see all their hopes and dreams disappear. And yet, if they would just make a little effort and reconnect, everything might be all right. You'd be surprised at how quickly a quiet apology, in word or deed, can return lost smiles to everyone.
The bottom line is that love, like everything else in life that really matters, requires a genuine effort. Cuddles and kisses go a long way toward making love last, but they aren't enough by themselves. Sometimes, you have to get out and push if you want your love to keep going forward, which is why falling in love can occasionally be almost exhausting as it is invigorating.
This is one of the two main reasons some people turn their backs on love.
It's hard enough taking responsibility fro your own feelings, let alone lookings after someone else's heart as well right?
"Bah!" You say with false bravado. "Who needs all that schmaltzy love stuff anyway?"
Which brings us to the second and most important reason people give up on love:
FEAR.
Fear of being hurt, fear of rejection, fear of potential lovers who turn out to be evil people who take all the blankets during the night and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. Fear is the number one obstacle to falling in love.
But a little fear is not so terrible. In fact, it's normal and healthy. No one like to be naked and exposed or have their dirty laundry hanging out in public. Of course, much of this depends on whom we are trying to get close to. A lot of people are great but not great together.
If you can't have a difference of opinion without getting your head bitten off, if you are constantly being criticised, or bullied, then maybe, just maybe, this isn't a perfect match at all. In fact, you should probably get the hell out of there while your heart is still in one piece.
While you're licking your wounds, you might also acknowledge your own part in the whole sorry mess. 20/20 hindsight can have tremendous value if you accept the hard-won wisdom and move on with life and love.
The journey to true loves is not as daunting as it seems. You don't have to lose yourself to find someone else, on the contrart, different points of view are every bit as important as the things you have in common.
Two lives. One love.
Your own personality flourishes in a releationship, which brings out your best at home and at work. Falling in love means you still get to do everything that made you truly happy, but now you also have the joy of sharing those things with someone else.
Plus, you get a whole bunch of bonus benefits as well. There are the quiet moments where boundaries dissolve into a delicious all-emcompassing oneness, and there's the peace of mind that comes from knowing that someone is there for you whenever for whatever. There are great conversations about everything and nothing. You can discuss your dreams and desires and know it is safe to share things you could never say to anyone else.
When you are in love, there is snuggling, explosions of passion, and spooning, which, as scientific research shows, makes your dreams twice as nice. When you are in love, it means there is always someone who will jump around with celebratory squeals when you are a winner, or give warmth and support when you are not.
Love gives us the strength to test the boundaries of our weaknesses, knowing that when we get in over our heads, a rescue mission is already on the way. To experience such a relationship is to know that every breath affirms that you are loved and that true love overcomes all obstacles.
True love can climb the highest mountain and cross the deepest sea...
Eventually...
Love can endure the phone ringing in the middle of dinner and survive numerous household accidents.it can overcome debilitating back pain and maybe even gallstones. Love can overcome ludicrous working hours and irritating Muzak while you're on hold. Love overcomes abrasive in-laws, chronic dandruff, a visit from Mr. Sulky Pants and even episodes of insanity.
In other words, nothing can hold love back.
True love overcomes anything and everything. Realising the power of love feels like a light switch is suddenly turned on inside your heart. The world looks different. Or perhaps you are looking at it differently.
Your search draws to a close.
You have finally found true love, or true love has found you...
The End The Beginning.
The fundamental facial mechanics of a kiss are very well known. Indeed, today the prepatory "pucker" is universally accepted. More than one trillion kisses have been successfully, or at least somewhat sucessfully, performed using this simple technique.
Amazingly, no two kisses are exactly alike.... EVER
The intensity of kissing ranges from a peck on the cheek to the long wet, passionate, slightly sideways kiss on the lips, and finally, "Hello Mr. Tongue!"
The reactions from both parties at the conclusion are another variable of note. These can be an uncomfortable and unspoken "What the hell was that all about?" Or, ideally, a violent post-smooch rapture that leaves you tingling with goose pimples, feeling as if every atom of your conscious being is inflated with helium and you are in danger of floating off into the stratoshpere. In case you were wondering, this little entry is about the love that inspires such kisses--alove that sends your heart soaring from here to eternity.
The Simple Truthe About Love
Falling in love is just like kissing--no two people do it the same way. A legendary romance may begin with the briefest of beautiful encounters, or a casual introduction by a mutual friend, who is then completely forgotten in all the excitement.
You might feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you turn to meet the piercing gaze of an enchanting stranger across a crowded room, across a parking lot, a bowling alley, or an all you can eat buffet. The location really isn't all that important.
Often you are just sitting there, minding your own business, and then WHAM! Love suddenly hits you out of the blue, and your pulse is off and running. That such a fleeting chance encounter can result in so many overwhelming feelings tells us a lot about the power of love.
Like the sun or a fiendishly expensive designer fragrance, love is an intoxicating force that draws all living creatures (except for telephone salespeople who call you at home and maybe aphids--we don't know about them for sure).
Love inspires us to to great, beautiful, terrible things and a bunch of weird and stupid stuff (all of which, curiously enough, can be found in Country and Western music).That's because when we fall in love, our reason and perspective become distorted, and we discover the lovers' paradox. Suddenly, we have clear purpose, but we suffer overwhelming indecision.
The affectionate attention we receive means we feel mor self-affirmed and radiant than ever before, and yet we are sick with self-doubt and insecurity.
Personal grooming also takes on a fresh energy, sometimes to the point where we change virtually everything about our appearance that turned our admirer's head in the first place.
Though it is wonderful in so many ways, falling in love can be a very unsettling experience. Poetic Torment churns your soul and keeps you from sleeping. Whenever you close your eyes, the object of your desire floats across a dreamscape toward your waiting lips.
In fact, the only time we really wake up to reality is when the new lover is actually approaching. Unfortunately, at that exact moment your molecular structure turns to water. You try to stay calm and composed, endeavouring to present a picture of charisma and confidence.
You Fail.
All those breathless secrets in your heart that rehearsed a thousand times are now ready to share gently with a tender ear, you suddenly blurt out, sounding like a race caller from an ancient civilisation.
The key word is patience.
From a perfectly mathematical point of view, with billions of people on the planet, the romantic numbers are always on your side. There is definitely someone out there who is perfect for each of us, so it makes no sense to grab the first cute butt that walks by. Don't be afraid to slow things down.
Really think about your feelings. Run through a few emotional scenarios in your mind and see how they look and feel. There's a reason we feel so shy when we first meet someone special.both people are seriously checking each other out, looking for and revealing some very personal information.
The process is all about trust. Slowly, we get closer and closer. Some things just shouldn't be rushed, and love is always worth waiting for. In its early stages, love is beyond wonderful. Each moment together feels like a passionate embrace in a magic forest. You gallop tirelessly in perpetual and blessed sunshine, your feet a few inches above the ground. In other words, our perceptions of ourselves and our beloved can become a touch idealised, to say the least.
We tend to forget that Romeo and Juliet did not, in actual fact, end all that well.
The truth is that love is always beautiful, and it may even feel perfect. But it can never be so, not all the time. Falling in love is an exquisite but complex coming together of two individuals, and a beautiful, dynamic living relationship always has some ups and downs. Imagine crossing an emotional ballet with a washing machine.
The irritating thing about falling in love is that you don't suddenly get transported to the mythical Kingdom of Coupledom, where everything is designed to make your relationship perfect.Two independantly minded people usually have similar but always slightly different needs, and the differences keep us on our toes.
Surprises keep your love exciting and fresh, but sometimes it seems as if you both came from different planets. One person is up when the other is down, one wants to canoodle; the other wants te be left alone.
Even the most loving couples can't possibly agree on absolutley everything. Take a simple misunderstanding, combine it with a little poor communication, then add some emotional baggage from previous relationships, and the romance starts to flounder.
A civil conversation can break down because of a few careless or caustic remarks. The salvo is then returned with interest, and KA-BOOM! Open hostilities are declared. Sometimes the dark, angry cloud evaporates as quickly as it is built up, and all is forgiven and forgotten.
And sometimes it doesn't.
In which case, heartache is a certainty, and tragically, two people who seemed so right for each other see all their hopes and dreams disappear. And yet, if they would just make a little effort and reconnect, everything might be all right. You'd be surprised at how quickly a quiet apology, in word or deed, can return lost smiles to everyone.
The bottom line is that love, like everything else in life that really matters, requires a genuine effort. Cuddles and kisses go a long way toward making love last, but they aren't enough by themselves. Sometimes, you have to get out and push if you want your love to keep going forward, which is why falling in love can occasionally be almost exhausting as it is invigorating.
This is one of the two main reasons some people turn their backs on love.
It's hard enough taking responsibility fro your own feelings, let alone lookings after someone else's heart as well right?
"Bah!" You say with false bravado. "Who needs all that schmaltzy love stuff anyway?"
Which brings us to the second and most important reason people give up on love:
FEAR.
Fear of being hurt, fear of rejection, fear of potential lovers who turn out to be evil people who take all the blankets during the night and squeeze the toothpaste from the middle. Fear is the number one obstacle to falling in love.
But a little fear is not so terrible. In fact, it's normal and healthy. No one like to be naked and exposed or have their dirty laundry hanging out in public. Of course, much of this depends on whom we are trying to get close to. A lot of people are great but not great together.
If you can't have a difference of opinion without getting your head bitten off, if you are constantly being criticised, or bullied, then maybe, just maybe, this isn't a perfect match at all. In fact, you should probably get the hell out of there while your heart is still in one piece.
While you're licking your wounds, you might also acknowledge your own part in the whole sorry mess. 20/20 hindsight can have tremendous value if you accept the hard-won wisdom and move on with life and love.
The journey to true loves is not as daunting as it seems. You don't have to lose yourself to find someone else, on the contrart, different points of view are every bit as important as the things you have in common.
Two lives. One love.
Your own personality flourishes in a releationship, which brings out your best at home and at work. Falling in love means you still get to do everything that made you truly happy, but now you also have the joy of sharing those things with someone else.
Plus, you get a whole bunch of bonus benefits as well. There are the quiet moments where boundaries dissolve into a delicious all-emcompassing oneness, and there's the peace of mind that comes from knowing that someone is there for you whenever for whatever. There are great conversations about everything and nothing. You can discuss your dreams and desires and know it is safe to share things you could never say to anyone else.
When you are in love, there is snuggling, explosions of passion, and spooning, which, as scientific research shows, makes your dreams twice as nice. When you are in love, it means there is always someone who will jump around with celebratory squeals when you are a winner, or give warmth and support when you are not.
Love gives us the strength to test the boundaries of our weaknesses, knowing that when we get in over our heads, a rescue mission is already on the way. To experience such a relationship is to know that every breath affirms that you are loved and that true love overcomes all obstacles.
True love can climb the highest mountain and cross the deepest sea...
Eventually...
Love can endure the phone ringing in the middle of dinner and survive numerous household accidents.it can overcome debilitating back pain and maybe even gallstones. Love can overcome ludicrous working hours and irritating Muzak while you're on hold. Love overcomes abrasive in-laws, chronic dandruff, a visit from Mr. Sulky Pants and even episodes of insanity.
In other words, nothing can hold love back.
True love overcomes anything and everything. Realising the power of love feels like a light switch is suddenly turned on inside your heart. The world looks different. Or perhaps you are looking at it differently.
Your search draws to a close.
You have finally found true love, or true love has found you...
The End The Beginning.