(no subject)
41's been almost 2 years... 2 years! And I still can get her out of my head. I find myself comparing any w0man that I'm with either intimately or platonically to her. And yes... We all know who I'm talking bout. I keep a picture of her next to my bed so that when I wake up I can see her smiling face.
01
All I want in life is her happiness. And yet... Right now... this very MOMENT, her happiness is being given by someone else.
There was a point in my life when a smile on her face was a simle on her face. I didn't care who caused it. I didn't care if it was becuase I did something stupid... So long as I knew it was there.
Now I'm jealous at the mere mention of another man's name... let alone with the word boyfriend preceding it.
I don't know what to say to her anymore. I'm not gonna know how to act around her. I know... without a DOUBT that the absolute first thing I'm going to want to do is give her the most passionate kiss of my life. I know that the moment my hand touches hers that I'm not going to want to let go.
But I'm going to have to...
I'm going to have to stand there and watch her hug another man. Watch them share lover's moments while I stand idly by, mourning a loss that was MY fault to begin with.
I was too weak willed.
I was too scared of my feelings.
I was unable to commit.
I couldn't tell just how deep my feelings for her are.
I would marry her. At any instance. Every time she hears me say "I love you" I'm really saying "Marry Me Claire.".
She makes me the happiest man on the planet. But she isn't with me anymore... She's with him... And I'll never know if our dream of marrying each other and have a ton of kids will ever come true.
I just don't know anymore...
Edit: I just began wondering... All those mornings that I've called her simply to tell her I loved her.... Was she sleeping besides him, telling me the same?
01
All I want in life is her happiness. And yet... Right now... this very MOMENT, her happiness is being given by someone else.
There was a point in my life when a smile on her face was a simle on her face. I didn't care who caused it. I didn't care if it was becuase I did something stupid... So long as I knew it was there.
Now I'm jealous at the mere mention of another man's name... let alone with the word boyfriend preceding it.
I don't know what to say to her anymore. I'm not gonna know how to act around her. I know... without a DOUBT that the absolute first thing I'm going to want to do is give her the most passionate kiss of my life. I know that the moment my hand touches hers that I'm not going to want to let go.
But I'm going to have to...
I'm going to have to stand there and watch her hug another man. Watch them share lover's moments while I stand idly by, mourning a loss that was MY fault to begin with.
I was too weak willed.
I was too scared of my feelings.
I was unable to commit.
I couldn't tell just how deep my feelings for her are.
I would marry her. At any instance. Every time she hears me say "I love you" I'm really saying "Marry Me Claire.".
She makes me the happiest man on the planet. But she isn't with me anymore... She's with him... And I'll never know if our dream of marrying each other and have a ton of kids will ever come true.
I just don't know anymore...
Edit: I just began wondering... All those mornings that I've called her simply to tell her I loved her.... Was she sleeping besides him, telling me the same?