Pray Like a Warrior
As I continue to grow in life I find that I am constantly learning new things about myself. I am in a constant state of growth and development and I continually need refinement. In the first six months of marriage I have learned that the world doesn't really revolve around me (I didn't even realize I thought that before). I have also learned that the words that come out of my mouth mean a whole lot of things that I never realized. I wonder how many people I have hurt and offended with just the way I've chosen to speak throughout my life. I find often that I'll say or do something, without any thought or intention, and suddenly I have really hurt another person and I have to take a step back and start asking the hard questions. First, what did I say or do? I am sorry. Second, how can I better support you and love you? How can I change?
Something very important that I am learning is how to control my emotions. I always was aware, peripherally, that I was not the best at controlling my emotions. I can be rather dramatic about the smallest thing and feel that my world is falling apart. Once I've fallen into this emotional drama, its very difficult for me to resurface for a breath of air until I've calmed down. This is most probably one of my unhealthiest attributes, not only for myself, but for all those I love around me too. These riotous emotions are often fueled by anger, fear of abandonment, and outside stressors. When I let myself embrace the anger and fear to protect myself from the unknown, I end up hurting myself and others.
What this all boils down to is that I want control. I want to be the ruler of my life and I don't want any other influences to pressure me into doing what I don't want to do. At the same time I want this control, I've realized that this control pushes people who love me away because I refuse to trust anyone else's judgment, except for my own. I close in on myself and come to the decision that I know what's best for me and I'm going to take my life where I want to go and towards what feels comfortable. This thought process is destructive and it brings death.
Romans 6:23 states, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
The only way that I can move forward into a life that is meanful and worth something, is to let my fear, anxiety, and anger go through continual and constant prayer. Philippians 5:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 1 Thessalonians 5:17, "pray continually." I have not been praying as I should be. I have not been giving God all of the glory day in and day out. I have not been putting God first in everything in my life. Jesus Christ must be my Savior every single day if I am to "fight the good fight of faith" and take hold of eternal life, 1 Timothy 6:12.
Lord, My God, protect me from evil. Make me holy and pleasing to you. Create in me a new mind and a new heart. Resurrect my soul from the dead and lead me onto your path of righteousness. Guide my steps and shine your light through me. Give me your direction and guidance. I want your wisdom and not the knowledge of the world. Men have known and lived and died. I want to understand and grow and serve. Teach me and make me moldable. Teach me to love with the love you've promised to your people. Lead me to be more like you, "Romans 12:20-21, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsy, give him something to drink; in doing this you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Be first in my life, first in my marriage, take first of my earings, take first of my heart. I love you because you first loved me. Amen.
Something very important that I am learning is how to control my emotions. I always was aware, peripherally, that I was not the best at controlling my emotions. I can be rather dramatic about the smallest thing and feel that my world is falling apart. Once I've fallen into this emotional drama, its very difficult for me to resurface for a breath of air until I've calmed down. This is most probably one of my unhealthiest attributes, not only for myself, but for all those I love around me too. These riotous emotions are often fueled by anger, fear of abandonment, and outside stressors. When I let myself embrace the anger and fear to protect myself from the unknown, I end up hurting myself and others.
What this all boils down to is that I want control. I want to be the ruler of my life and I don't want any other influences to pressure me into doing what I don't want to do. At the same time I want this control, I've realized that this control pushes people who love me away because I refuse to trust anyone else's judgment, except for my own. I close in on myself and come to the decision that I know what's best for me and I'm going to take my life where I want to go and towards what feels comfortable. This thought process is destructive and it brings death.
Romans 6:23 states, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
The only way that I can move forward into a life that is meanful and worth something, is to let my fear, anxiety, and anger go through continual and constant prayer. Philippians 5:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 1 Thessalonians 5:17, "pray continually." I have not been praying as I should be. I have not been giving God all of the glory day in and day out. I have not been putting God first in everything in my life. Jesus Christ must be my Savior every single day if I am to "fight the good fight of faith" and take hold of eternal life, 1 Timothy 6:12.
Lord, My God, protect me from evil. Make me holy and pleasing to you. Create in me a new mind and a new heart. Resurrect my soul from the dead and lead me onto your path of righteousness. Guide my steps and shine your light through me. Give me your direction and guidance. I want your wisdom and not the knowledge of the world. Men have known and lived and died. I want to understand and grow and serve. Teach me and make me moldable. Teach me to love with the love you've promised to your people. Lead me to be more like you, "Romans 12:20-21, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsy, give him something to drink; in doing this you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Be first in my life, first in my marriage, take first of my earings, take first of my heart. I love you because you first loved me. Amen.