(no subject)
My mouth is so dry. Dry as if I slept on the beach all night and took in sand and salt into my mouth down to my lungs and let it linger on my tongue even after I woke up.
I hate the fact that the best day I've had in a really long time is over. It's sad. I wish every day could be as fun as today was. I didn't even do much, but eveyone was happy. And everyone was upbeat. And it was refreshing to be able to rely on plans that were made and it was enjoyable to have people around me that wanted to hang out with me. And insted of dragging it out, they left when they got sick of it all. It was nice to hang out with guys that were cool, not all dumb about things. It was just better than it's been.
And you know what. Fuck you. Seriously. I'm not kidding in the least, most of you who are reading this, you're all liars. You all throw the words "best friends" and "caring" and "i'm here" around like they're worthless. I've learned, that when most of you say it, it is worthless. You all don't give two fucks about me, and thats cool, but don't bull shit me into thinking I have friends. Cuz I'm learning more and more that you all are just people in my life. No more than someone I met once, even if you say to me that I am one of your best friends. It's not like you ever put forth effort. I'm sick of thinking I have a life that I don't. So from now on, only call me a friend if you actually want to be friends with me. If you don't care, tell me, and I'll move on and accept the fact that you never have time for me anyway and the last time we hung out was weeks or months ago and I should let go. I'd rather have a few great friends then a bunch of people who lie to me. Ugh, seriously, you are all fucking assholes.
I hate the fact that the best day I've had in a really long time is over. It's sad. I wish every day could be as fun as today was. I didn't even do much, but eveyone was happy. And everyone was upbeat. And it was refreshing to be able to rely on plans that were made and it was enjoyable to have people around me that wanted to hang out with me. And insted of dragging it out, they left when they got sick of it all. It was nice to hang out with guys that were cool, not all dumb about things. It was just better than it's been.
And you know what. Fuck you. Seriously. I'm not kidding in the least, most of you who are reading this, you're all liars. You all throw the words "best friends" and "caring" and "i'm here" around like they're worthless. I've learned, that when most of you say it, it is worthless. You all don't give two fucks about me, and thats cool, but don't bull shit me into thinking I have friends. Cuz I'm learning more and more that you all are just people in my life. No more than someone I met once, even if you say to me that I am one of your best friends. It's not like you ever put forth effort. I'm sick of thinking I have a life that I don't. So from now on, only call me a friend if you actually want to be friends with me. If you don't care, tell me, and I'll move on and accept the fact that you never have time for me anyway and the last time we hung out was weeks or months ago and I should let go. I'd rather have a few great friends then a bunch of people who lie to me. Ugh, seriously, you are all fucking assholes.