of death and life....
always in motion the future is....difficult to see.
It felt like something was about to give. In hindsight, of course. Everything you look back on, you can see with eyes unclouded. The troubles we made for ourselves, All of the small stones that I though were boulders, seem rather unimportant now. The reminder is harsh. But reality cannot be ignored. All of the hopes and dreams and goals we set ourselves, from the fallene leaves of Autumn, through Winters chill, past the blossoms of Spring, and into Summer...pushing forward, growing, building, changing. all the while forgetting the companion whose silent tread paces our own. Patient, peaceful...she was there before when there was nothing, and she will be there with us when everything returns to nothing. She is the most important part of life, without her Life would not seem so precious. Neither Kind nor Cruel, she cares nothing of who you were, who you are, or what you wish to be. Ultimately accepting of Kings and Killers. Death. She welcomes all things into her warm embrace when Life has no more use for them. People and Planets alike. It's all just dust in the wind.
All stoic Daoist ramblings aside. It's a fucked uup thing to see your brother laid out on the counter. Knowing he has passed is the easiest thing to accept, seeing his body brought no greif to my heart, only a burning desire for vengance. Knowing that the life of my brother was ripped from all of us unjustly, unfairly, and without honor...steels my heart, and sets my blood on fire. This coward who is responsible must pay. And pay dearly. I can do nothing but imagine the dread...the anxiety...the...helplessness Brett must have felt while being held captive on that long drive. That... dog will pay for my brothers dishonor. I only hope that he is found by the law before he is found by me. Before my rage consumes both of us.
That anger has always fueld me with drive. Like the explosions that power the engine, that fire boosts me and pushes me forward. It is unfortunate in these circumstances that I am more than powerless at this point. That fact leaves me lost. So, we seek solace in one another.
His family...
our friends.
Though music, song, and just being near, we strengthen one another. Whatever our divisions may have been, I see the walls we built breaking. I will strive to see they remain as such. I can be comforted in my ability to be there for those I love, the be a rock for them to stand on when they need it. Especially for Catie, who will grieve him for a long time. My friends and our connections stand as one of the things I treasure the most in life. I will give myself to see this never occurs again. In anyway I can. Brett's loss will be rembered for our lifetimes, untill we are together with him again.
RIP
Brett Lanier
...
It felt like something was about to give. In hindsight, of course. Everything you look back on, you can see with eyes unclouded. The troubles we made for ourselves, All of the small stones that I though were boulders, seem rather unimportant now. The reminder is harsh. But reality cannot be ignored. All of the hopes and dreams and goals we set ourselves, from the fallene leaves of Autumn, through Winters chill, past the blossoms of Spring, and into Summer...pushing forward, growing, building, changing. all the while forgetting the companion whose silent tread paces our own. Patient, peaceful...she was there before when there was nothing, and she will be there with us when everything returns to nothing. She is the most important part of life, without her Life would not seem so precious. Neither Kind nor Cruel, she cares nothing of who you were, who you are, or what you wish to be. Ultimately accepting of Kings and Killers. Death. She welcomes all things into her warm embrace when Life has no more use for them. People and Planets alike. It's all just dust in the wind.
All stoic Daoist ramblings aside. It's a fucked uup thing to see your brother laid out on the counter. Knowing he has passed is the easiest thing to accept, seeing his body brought no greif to my heart, only a burning desire for vengance. Knowing that the life of my brother was ripped from all of us unjustly, unfairly, and without honor...steels my heart, and sets my blood on fire. This coward who is responsible must pay. And pay dearly. I can do nothing but imagine the dread...the anxiety...the...helplessness Brett must have felt while being held captive on that long drive. That... dog will pay for my brothers dishonor. I only hope that he is found by the law before he is found by me. Before my rage consumes both of us.
That anger has always fueld me with drive. Like the explosions that power the engine, that fire boosts me and pushes me forward. It is unfortunate in these circumstances that I am more than powerless at this point. That fact leaves me lost. So, we seek solace in one another.
His family...
our friends.
Though music, song, and just being near, we strengthen one another. Whatever our divisions may have been, I see the walls we built breaking. I will strive to see they remain as such. I can be comforted in my ability to be there for those I love, the be a rock for them to stand on when they need it. Especially for Catie, who will grieve him for a long time. My friends and our connections stand as one of the things I treasure the most in life. I will give myself to see this never occurs again. In anyway I can. Brett's loss will be rembered for our lifetimes, untill we are together with him again.
RIP
Brett Lanier
...