Ahh, the infamous LJ breakup. 3rd repost and still good.
Current mood: cranky
Current music: "Get away from me..."
"That is that and this is this..."
Gah.....WAY too much coffee plus lots of walking around plus no food makes me all psycho and bouncy in an unfun way.
What I decided is, this is not me. Just not. Not at all. I don't do "serious." I don't do "real," or...what's that word? Hm. Can't really seem to come up with the right word, but I guess what I mean is that I can't take anything seriously, and I don't like to "talk about things" and I'm extremely selfish, self-centered, and self-serving. I like you, but I like myself more. Maybe that sounds horrible, and it kind of is, but right now it's just true.
It's like that whole part of me where I say what I need and never even try to phrase it in a way that might spare your feelings. I just don't know...all I know is I can't do things right and I can't make things work and because of my horrid personality, I don't even care enough to try sometimes. I'm so much better at sitting around looking pretty and waiting for the good things to come to me than to actually put some freaking effort in and try to make things better for myself And other people.
Right now? Right now, all I want to do is walk around with my friends late at night, in a hoodie and underwear, doing absolutely nothing and wasting the hours. I want to make out on the beach and be all sandy for the rest of the night. I want to lie out in the sun. I sound so stupid saying all this, but it's really really just the simple things I want and enjoy, and even a hint of anything complicated sends me running.
Current music: "Get away from me..."
"That is that and this is this..."
Gah.....WAY too much coffee plus lots of walking around plus no food makes me all psycho and bouncy in an unfun way.
What I decided is, this is not me. Just not. Not at all. I don't do "serious." I don't do "real," or...what's that word? Hm. Can't really seem to come up with the right word, but I guess what I mean is that I can't take anything seriously, and I don't like to "talk about things" and I'm extremely selfish, self-centered, and self-serving. I like you, but I like myself more. Maybe that sounds horrible, and it kind of is, but right now it's just true.
It's like that whole part of me where I say what I need and never even try to phrase it in a way that might spare your feelings. I just don't know...all I know is I can't do things right and I can't make things work and because of my horrid personality, I don't even care enough to try sometimes. I'm so much better at sitting around looking pretty and waiting for the good things to come to me than to actually put some freaking effort in and try to make things better for myself And other people.
Right now? Right now, all I want to do is walk around with my friends late at night, in a hoodie and underwear, doing absolutely nothing and wasting the hours. I want to make out on the beach and be all sandy for the rest of the night. I want to lie out in the sun. I sound so stupid saying all this, but it's really really just the simple things I want and enjoy, and even a hint of anything complicated sends me running.