(no subject)
I didn't die, I’m still around. Megan, my dearest, I’m sorry I haven't talked to you in so long, whenever I call, I kreig your answering machine and want to die. I actually haven't talked to anyone in a really long time, even the people I live with. I wear rain boots to class and play with laser pointers with my cats. I lie on the floor and they chase a red dot around until they get bored.
Work has taken over my life, I work 4-5 days a week and now dream about the things I make. And sometimes I smile to myself when I remember that yes! Justice, I did give that pretentious fuck half and half instead of soy. Those moments are the best.
When I come home I spend my time lying on the floor thinking of all of you.
I put my calendar one month in advance to make me think time is going by faster than it really is. It's not working but my will is still strong. when I make espressos I think of Sarah and how I think she might be my favorite person in the whole world - I simply have no time to go to her. And when it rains I think of Gretchen and how I wish I had enough to say to her so that I could call her. I've grown weary of the usual stare at the phone gig. the mountain of empty Papyrus cards have grown on my desk. i now have to study on the kitchen counter.
It's times like right now, that in order for me to get through the day, I have to go over beautiful times in my head. I do this so that when I close my eyes I can relive those gorgeous moments with the people that inspire me.
My moleskin journal has died as of August 1, it is now only blank pages and scratched pages.
Random notes:
My sister won’t go to China to teach English and is wasting away reading countless Us Today’s in the bathroom.
Claire is back for fall break from Uni of New Haven and I’m pretty stoked.
And I'm visiting NYU in November for their "open house" so that makes me happy. 4 days in the big city to relax and have a good time. I'm taking the train up. And I'm buying a new pea coat for the occasion to feel classy.
What am i doing here?
Work has taken over my life, I work 4-5 days a week and now dream about the things I make. And sometimes I smile to myself when I remember that yes! Justice, I did give that pretentious fuck half and half instead of soy. Those moments are the best.
When I come home I spend my time lying on the floor thinking of all of you.
I put my calendar one month in advance to make me think time is going by faster than it really is. It's not working but my will is still strong. when I make espressos I think of Sarah and how I think she might be my favorite person in the whole world - I simply have no time to go to her. And when it rains I think of Gretchen and how I wish I had enough to say to her so that I could call her. I've grown weary of the usual stare at the phone gig. the mountain of empty Papyrus cards have grown on my desk. i now have to study on the kitchen counter.
It's times like right now, that in order for me to get through the day, I have to go over beautiful times in my head. I do this so that when I close my eyes I can relive those gorgeous moments with the people that inspire me.
My moleskin journal has died as of August 1, it is now only blank pages and scratched pages.
Random notes:
My sister won’t go to China to teach English and is wasting away reading countless Us Today’s in the bathroom.
Claire is back for fall break from Uni of New Haven and I’m pretty stoked.
And I'm visiting NYU in November for their "open house" so that makes me happy. 4 days in the big city to relax and have a good time. I'm taking the train up. And I'm buying a new pea coat for the occasion to feel classy.
What am i doing here?