Insecurities arise from what we can't control
what we can't control usual manifests itself
in relationships and in workplaces
and situations where another person's feelings and attitudes are concerned
and we try to lessen the impact of these insecurities many ways.
we clear our plates of any blame and project them back onto those that 'made' us feel insecure,
that way we can tell ourselves that 'they started it, i'm just reacting';
we play the victim and as passive recipient of actions that led to our feeling insecure
by creating this agency of those that 'made' us feel insecure,
we tell ourselves 'i had no part to play because it is not i who acted out first. i am a passive victim'.
in times like that we blindside ourselves, accusing others of ugliness
when we ourselves are an equal measure of ugly.
while it is understandable the tension that arises from not having control,
we have to first understand what not having control is
before we can learn how to deal with it
the term control is not absolute
meaning not everything is 100% controllable or not controllable.
for the degree of separate of 'control' from 'no control'
is only a few degrees, where one affects the other in a chain system
like rolling a bowling ball down a lane
while it is the ball that hits the pins,
it is the energy which we project onto the ball that causes this reaction
it is that space between our arms and the pins that gives us an impression of no control.
likewise, we need our own proverbial bowling balls to control the uncontrollable pins.
to do this, we need to project an extreme amount of positivity
to affect a situation without our control with some measure of positively.
unlike a bowling ball lane, situations do not always have the luxury of kinetic energy
and sometimes it may even feel like we must roll a ball uphill
a seemingly impossible task
by projecting positivity, i don't mean to present a simulacrum of positivity
i mean we need a reflection of existing positivity that lies within ourselves
and that positivity can only be created through patience and understanding.
in times where we are liable to react and regret,
we need to hold our tongues and think
for love is Patient and Love is Kind,
Love does not envy
nor is arrogant in pride.
Positive reflections are created by being a better person
constantly reflecting on ourselves
to find our faults and improve on them
Only fools are perfect, but a wise person knows his flaws.
In understanding ourselves and being a better person,
we create reflections of positivity
and this is the energy that affects situations without our control
for nothing is without control for one who knows himself and is able to accept, understand, know and love.
Even when it seems that a situation without our control has gone horribly wrong
it takes a wise person to admit his flaws before even or ever pointing out the flaws of another
it is not a matter of pride or face
it is a matter of controlling the situation by understanding it
face can be kept at the loss of control
but how much face can you keep on a shadeless, deserted island before it burns off?
By understanding the situation and being Kind,
not only do you not lose face, you gain the hearts of those around you.
This is a lesson for myself.
in relationships and in workplaces
and situations where another person's feelings and attitudes are concerned
and we try to lessen the impact of these insecurities many ways.
we clear our plates of any blame and project them back onto those that 'made' us feel insecure,
that way we can tell ourselves that 'they started it, i'm just reacting';
we play the victim and as passive recipient of actions that led to our feeling insecure
by creating this agency of those that 'made' us feel insecure,
we tell ourselves 'i had no part to play because it is not i who acted out first. i am a passive victim'.
in times like that we blindside ourselves, accusing others of ugliness
when we ourselves are an equal measure of ugly.
while it is understandable the tension that arises from not having control,
we have to first understand what not having control is
before we can learn how to deal with it
the term control is not absolute
meaning not everything is 100% controllable or not controllable.
for the degree of separate of 'control' from 'no control'
is only a few degrees, where one affects the other in a chain system
like rolling a bowling ball down a lane
while it is the ball that hits the pins,
it is the energy which we project onto the ball that causes this reaction
it is that space between our arms and the pins that gives us an impression of no control.
likewise, we need our own proverbial bowling balls to control the uncontrollable pins.
to do this, we need to project an extreme amount of positivity
to affect a situation without our control with some measure of positively.
unlike a bowling ball lane, situations do not always have the luxury of kinetic energy
and sometimes it may even feel like we must roll a ball uphill
a seemingly impossible task
by projecting positivity, i don't mean to present a simulacrum of positivity
i mean we need a reflection of existing positivity that lies within ourselves
and that positivity can only be created through patience and understanding.
in times where we are liable to react and regret,
we need to hold our tongues and think
for love is Patient and Love is Kind,
Love does not envy
nor is arrogant in pride.
Positive reflections are created by being a better person
constantly reflecting on ourselves
to find our faults and improve on them
Only fools are perfect, but a wise person knows his flaws.
In understanding ourselves and being a better person,
we create reflections of positivity
and this is the energy that affects situations without our control
for nothing is without control for one who knows himself and is able to accept, understand, know and love.
Even when it seems that a situation without our control has gone horribly wrong
it takes a wise person to admit his flaws before even or ever pointing out the flaws of another
it is not a matter of pride or face
it is a matter of controlling the situation by understanding it
face can be kept at the loss of control
but how much face can you keep on a shadeless, deserted island before it burns off?
By understanding the situation and being Kind,
not only do you not lose face, you gain the hearts of those around you.
This is a lesson for myself.