whatever
I need to stop being weirdly obsessive over stupid things. Getting sucked in and making myself sick to the stomach just because I have to keep reading, thinking on, knowing about things that don't matter, things about which I really couldn't possibly care less. It's stupid and a waste of time, energy, emotion.
Nothing wants to be finished anymore and I am impatient. My hands shake. I don't know what it is that says go go go go go go go go but it's pulling at my brain, a handful of thought squeezed relentlessly, uncomfortably and I wonder why I'm dizzy all the time. I want to break things, throw things hard against walls and see, hear, feel them smash. Loudness and movement and something, ANYTHING. My head is cloudy and I hate it that way.
If only it were easy to say "whatever" and actually mean it.
Right?
Nothing wants to be finished anymore and I am impatient. My hands shake. I don't know what it is that says go go go go go go go go but it's pulling at my brain, a handful of thought squeezed relentlessly, uncomfortably and I wonder why I'm dizzy all the time. I want to break things, throw things hard against walls and see, hear, feel them smash. Loudness and movement and something, ANYTHING. My head is cloudy and I hate it that way.
If only it were easy to say "whatever" and actually mean it.
Right?