I'm sure its been forever
I feel like running. Or going for a walk. Too bad its 2 in the morning.
I'm meeting with Shannah tomorrow to get coffee. For some reason I'm nervous.
I've known her since I was 11 and I havent seen her in over a year. I guess I could discribe my nervousness as the same as someone going to a highschool reunion. I feel like because I havent accomplished much in the past year that she might never speak to me again. I can say though that I have gotten all that nonsense out of me and I'm ready to grow up. Now only if I could find a job.
Things that have been on my mind lately:
-When I get a job I want to live on my own. What will John think? No matter though. I will tell him thats going to be my "20's phase" Most want to go party and drink. I just want to prove to everyone that I can support myself and that I've finally grown up.
Ugh. I cant stand this feeling. Its like I'm suffocating.
-I like this new John. Its the part of him that I fell in love with except it's there always. If he goes back though.. I dont think I could handle it. He sounds happier and more motivated. I just wish I could see him. It's been 3 weeks since I've spent more then 10 minutes with him. I want to call him now just to hear that happiness in his voice but I've already spoken to him today.
I thought I was coming down with some stomach sickness but I'm pretty sure it was/is just stress. I dont feel stressed out. So I dont know.
back to my bedroom for now.
I'm meeting with Shannah tomorrow to get coffee. For some reason I'm nervous.
I've known her since I was 11 and I havent seen her in over a year. I guess I could discribe my nervousness as the same as someone going to a highschool reunion. I feel like because I havent accomplished much in the past year that she might never speak to me again. I can say though that I have gotten all that nonsense out of me and I'm ready to grow up. Now only if I could find a job.
Things that have been on my mind lately:
-When I get a job I want to live on my own. What will John think? No matter though. I will tell him thats going to be my "20's phase" Most want to go party and drink. I just want to prove to everyone that I can support myself and that I've finally grown up.
Ugh. I cant stand this feeling. Its like I'm suffocating.
-I like this new John. Its the part of him that I fell in love with except it's there always. If he goes back though.. I dont think I could handle it. He sounds happier and more motivated. I just wish I could see him. It's been 3 weeks since I've spent more then 10 minutes with him. I want to call him now just to hear that happiness in his voice but I've already spoken to him today.
I thought I was coming down with some stomach sickness but I'm pretty sure it was/is just stress. I dont feel stressed out. So I dont know.
back to my bedroom for now.