Got a suitcase, got regrets, but I'm hopeful yet

[onlydisappear]

[Matt's looking for someone while trying to pretend to himself and the mansion that he's not, and the show of exaggerated casualness he's putting on has gotten him in trouble before. It's not so bad this time, he thinks at first. This room's like a library, but all the volumes on the shelves are self-help books. There's a computer monitor in the

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[righteous_pen]

[Teru hasn't seen this room before, and thinks, until he walks in and sees the tag on his shirt, that it's another library. His sticker reads:

Hi! My problem is: I've escaped what I once believed was my purpose in life, but don't know how to find a new one.

He quickly tries to raise his hand to his chest, only to find his arm frozen in place.]

...wonderful.

[onlydisappear]

I wish I could help you, man, but I'm kinda lost myself. [He thinks for a moment, taking a puff on his cigarette.] You said you were an attorney, yeah? You don't want to go back to that?

[righteous_pen]

I see - [He glances at Matt's sticker, and finds himself speaking before he can consider stopping it.] You'll have to face up to it sooner rather than later. The longer you spend deluding yourself, the harder it is to break free of.

[A pause, and a slight sigh, and then he can continue without the compulsion.] Whichever world I end up in, I'm still a convicted murderer, and while I'm sure A can provide a new identity for me in hers... I'd know. I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

[onlydisappear]

I know that. But it hasn't been that long. I'd feel disloyal if I gave up hope so soon.

[It's true, but he wishes he could stop oversharing.]

It sounds like your real problem is that you have to find a way to live with yourself.

[righteous_pen]

That's understandable. Given the tricks this place likes to play with us.

[Quietly, looking over his tag again] And you're right. But if they listed everything on here that was wrong with us all we'd be reading all day.

[Somewhere deep down where he doesn't want to examine, he's relieved that the tag's not about his mother.]

[onlydisappear]

Yeah, no shit. Most of us have so much baggage, we'd need a freakin' boxcar to haul it.

And, y'know, I think the only thing that'll really make it better for you is time. Hm, that's probably true for me too.

[righteous_pen]

Probably. But saying that - feels too much like doing nothing. Like giving up.

[It's not clear which of them he's referring to, here. Both, really.]

[onlydisappear]

[Matt nods.] I know, but... it's not like you can get able to handle something by force of will alone.

[righteous_pen]

[He half-laughs under his breath, shakes his head. The question's mainly rhetorical.] Can't you?