Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme

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Welcome to the Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme!

How it works:

* Comment anonymously with a kinkfic request. All requests must contain a character or pairing/threesome/moresome (any combination of guys/girls/shinigami/whatever are OK, crossovers are fine too), and at least one kink. If you need inspiration, check out this huge list of kinks by eliade.

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To Lose Your Ears Part 3

[anonymous]

Maybe it was his imagination but he kept thinking that Raito was looking at him after that. Watching him. He told himself that it was stupid, that Raito wasn’t but he couldn’t help thinking that he could see it and it made him feel vaguely embarrassed. Maybe Raito was thinking that he was weird, now that Matsuda was the only member of the team with ears. Hell, Matsuda probably was weird. What kind of guy still had his ears at 26 years old? It was pretty lame, especially when the eighteen year old in your team had lost his. But he was working too hard and too much to really want to go and pick people up and anyway … he wanted Raito.

Stupid. So stupid. Like a kid with a favourite toy. But if he tried to think about losing his ears with anyone else, he found himself feeling vaguely as though he was betraying Raito. It was pathetic and Matsuda was disgusted with himself for feeling like that. He supposed that maybe it would be different if he actually meant someone but … he hadn’t. And couldn’t. So really, he was stuck with suffering a teenage infatuation until it went away. And stuck with his stupid ears.

And stuck with little dreams that maybe, just maybe, Raito was looking at him …

He had been following Raito around for a few days because Raito had asked for a volunteer to help him organise some of the old files that Watari and L had left behind in the old headquarters and Matsuda had eagerly volunteered. It wasn’t as much fun as it could have been because Raito was a serious worker and wouldn’t allow Matsuda to distract him very much but Matsuda quite enjoyed it anyway. He was being of some use for once (and yes, Aizawa or Mogi or Ide could have done this job but they hadn’t really wanted to and Matsuda had so that made him useful, right?) and it meant he got to spend some time alone with Raito and that was quite fun too.

“What’s going to happen to this place?” he asked Raito, as Raito shuffled through some papers.

“I’m not quite sure,” Raito said. “I don’t really know who owns it to be honest. Part of the reason for this work is that I’m hoping we’ll find something that means I’ll know what to do with it.”

“Anything useful in these papers?”

“These appear to be invoices for imported confectionary.”

Matsuda laughed at Raito’s vaguely annoyed tone and without thinking, reached over to ruffle his hair. Raito dodged the hand quite skilfully and gave Matsuda a vaguely annoyed look. Matsuda sighed and felt his ears droop guiltily and his tail went limp. Raito clearly saw the signs and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t look so down,” he said. “I just don’t want you messing up my hair.”

“I bet the Chief would say that you should have kept your ears if you didn’t want people messing up your hair,” Matsuda said with a smile to show that he didn’t mind. Raito rolled his eyes and shoved the invoices away from him, looking at another tray of paper, seemingly thinking the conversation was over. Matsuda wasn’t so sure. Now that he’d mentioned it, maybe …

“What’s it like?”

He hadn’t meant to blurt it out quite so roughly or without build-up and when Raito blinked at him, he felt himself blushing very red and staring sheepishly at the floor.

“What’s what like?” Raito asked.

“L-losing your ears. N-not the sex bit, I mean … does it … hurt?”

He couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Raito’s face as he spoke and continued his study of the floor. Raito gave a soft laugh and Matsuda felt redness fill his cheeks. Stupid, stupid. If Raito hadn’t thought he was an idiot before (unlikely) he certainly would now. Stupid.

“Do you really want to know?” Raito asked.

“It … it doesn’t matter,” Matsuda said quickly. “Sorry, sorry to ask such a stupid question, I just … ”

“You wondered,” Raito said. “It’s okay, Matsuda-san. I used to wonder too. Everyone does, don’t they? Do you really want to know?”

Matsuda’s mouth felt suddenly dry. He wasn’t sure why. Something about Raito’s voice was making his legs feel a bit weak and he sat down casually on one of the boxes, staring at his hands and telling himself not to be so idiotic.