Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme

[dn_kink]

Welcome to the Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme!

How it works:

* Comment anonymously with a kinkfic request. All requests must contain a character or pairing/threesome/moresome (any combination of guys/girls/shinigami/whatever are OK, crossovers are fine too), and at least one kink. If you need inspiration, check out this huge list of kinks by eliade.

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Everything I Touch [6]

[anonymous]

As she continued, I mustered all the concentration I had to keep silent, and for reasons that are beyond me, it felt incredible to do that. The determination to give her exactly what she wanted rushed through me like fire.

And as I made sure her dream wasn’t interrupted, I began to understand the girl more. I would never actively seek a situation where I would be used. I could never tolerate a woman who wouldn’t take me seriously, who would drain my wallet and self-esteem, or lie to my face - I could never tolerate cruelty. But Misa was anything but cruel, and if she was using me, it was because she needed me, even if I wasn’t the one on her mind during all of this. I was doing for her what she’d done for Light - I’d helped her live out her fantasy, just... well, her fantasy was certainly more physical, for sure, especially if her request for me to remain silent so she could pretend was any indication of what Light actually wanted (or didn’t want) from her.

There is such a fine line between being useful and being used that I’m not sure I ever want to tread there again.

For some reason, my mind was telling me to resist the pleasure of it all, or else I’d become too selfish, because logically speaking this really wasn’t about me. But it was impossible to ignore it. Her hands were just so deft, so soft and smooth and perfect like she wouldn’t settle for giving anything but the best, and... and it was Misa Amane, I thought to myself and almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of it. I, of all people, was getting what men around the world fantasized over. I was supposed to be one of those guys; how in the world had I gotten into this? The cognitive dissonance was overwhelming, and to be perfectly honest, it was a thrill.

She started working me harder, and staying silent became more and more difficult. I looked down at her expression to see if she wanted me to wait, but she looked impatient and anxious: finishing this way was her goal. I thought it strange - girls would usually back off early on so that they wouldn’t be left high and dry, so that something could be shared, but - this really was shared, wasn’t it? I understood her, I felt so incredibly close to her just then and her hands, god, her hands were incredible and I closed my eyes and held my breath as I felt myself reaching satisfaction. And as the heat surged through me, it lasted even longer than I was used to; my entire body felt as if it were resonating with pure pleasure, and I couldn’t help but think that’s what people mean when they say it’s better when you can’t breathe. Who’d have known holding back and staying quiet could actually feel good?

But at that point, I needed air, and there was no way to avoid breaking my promise of silence. As I was finishing off I gasped, really loud, and I couldn’t stop panting. My throat was dry and I coughed, my muscles melted, and who the hell knew that my vision and hearing were that far gone just a few moments ago? I felt terrible for breaking that promise, but when I looked down at her, she was smiling. It was okay.

Of course, there was the aftermath, and I was able to wake myself from the trance enough to get up and find a washcloth for her. I wiped her cheek, taking her into my arms, the most bizarre mixture of pride and shame filling me. I felt my eyes go damp, but I can’t really figure out if I was actually sad.

“Thank you,” she’d whispered. It was all so backwards. But it made sense. To me, at least.

I offered to return her favor but she declined. She wasn’t ready. It seemed that all she cared about for the moment was knowing there was nothing wrong with her. She looked so relieved, so peaceful, and the thought that everything she had to offer as a human being and woman may have gone unappreciated... it was infuriating. It... may not have been my place on paper, but damned if she deserved someone who didn’t appreciate her like I did. I held her more tightly.