Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme

[dn_kink]

Welcome to the Death Note Anonymous Kink Meme!

How it works:

* Comment anonymously with a kinkfic request. All requests must contain a character or pairing/threesome/moresome (any combination of guys/girls/shinigami/whatever are OK, crossovers are fine too), and at least one kink. If you need inspiration, check out this huge list of kinks by eliade.

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Everything I Touch [1]

[anonymous]

...It had to be me, didn’t it?

Well, it’s not like I didn’t volunteer for it myself.

But... after searching - god, we searched for so long, and I was the one that found him dead-

“I’ll... contact Sachiko. Someone needs to tell Misa,” Aizawa had said quietly into the heel of his hand as he placed his palm over his face. “...Mogi, you’re close with her, right? Do you think you could...?”

Mogi stood frozen, looking away. Through all his stoicism, I could tell he was in pain. He’d also been the one to take care of L after he’d died, hadn’t he?

Finally he spoke up. “I... am not good at expressing sympathy. There’s no way she would feel any comfort if I...”

“I’ll do it, Mogi-san, please don’t worry,” I interrupted. They all looked at me, asking if I was sure - I was an absolute mess when I found him, I was screaming, horrified - but I was sure I wanted to be the one to tell her. I’d lost control earlier, and I had to be strong. And if it was painful, then maybe I deserved it for shooting him like that; god, there was no need for anything except what would keep him from writing, but I kept going, and if I hadn’t then maybe he wouldn’t have died. I had to stand up and be responsible, for once. And besides, I couldn’t stay there any longer.

I had to stop at home, first. There was blood on my suit and skin from when I’d tried to shake him awake, trying to find a pulse, hoping to God that the wounds weren’t fatal. To this day I still don’t know why - I know where I shot him, I know what it should have done to him, and how quickly it would have taken him to die. There should have been time to save him. Maybe it was because he ran. Maybe it was his impulsiveness that killed him, not mine.

After I was dropped off, I approached the door to my apartment, and the elderly woman next door was in the hall, trying to get the cat back in the house. The calls of endearment directed at the cat were cut short when she saw me.

“Matsuda-san, are you...”

I turned to look at her with sort of a vague acknowledgment, and she went pale herself. I realized then how terrifying I must have looked, shocked and flecked with blood. I blinked, shaking my head and coming to my senses a bit, straightening my posture.

“Sorry, Okuma-san, it’s... police, confidential... sorry if I scared you... shouldn’t have to see that...” was about all I could articulate. I was so hoarse. Did I really scream that much?

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” she said quietly, a bit calmer now.

“Thanks.” I walked into my apartment, swung the door shut, went straight to the washroom and threw up. I knew I couldn’t wear that suit again - no matter what kind of services were available to me as an officer to have it cleaned without question, I wouldn’t be able to wear it without getting sick, so I threw it out. It was old, anyway. I started the shower, leaving the cold water knob turned pretty low, and the scalding water on my skin was the most wonderful thing I could have felt then. It stung a bit, but it was the most real thing since the incident, it brought my body out of its... well, I can’t quite call it paralysis, but I was able to move, to stand up straight, breathe the steam and clear my mind, at least temporarily. I stayed in there until the hot water ran out almost completely. After brushing my teeth again, I threw on a new suit and headed over to the hotel Misa was staying at.

By that point, I was on autopilot. Just doing what I had to do, not letting it sink in until the reality of it came swinging back at me when I arrived at her door. I already was beginning to feel sick after I’d knocked.